That it's not fair!?

[StompingMyFeet]

I've NC for this because I'm aware I'll sound like a Daily Mail article in my rant. I'm just so (irrationally) hurt and upset right now.

We own a 1 bed flat. We do ok, but there's basically no way we'll ever be anywhere bigger even though we both work.We have a DD already , but for the past 3 years I've desperately wanted another baby. There's no room, money would be tricky, childcare , going back to work , OH is getting quite old etc. Plus the impact on DD by having less .. attention,time,space etc. So I know it's a know, I try to make my peace with it and forget about it. Sometimes it just fucking hurts though, so much so that it becomes physical.

Today I saw one of our old neighbours who got moved last year (council) into a two bed. She had DS with her and a baby. While we were chatting she casually said "oh this is what happens when you get a two bedroom" and laughed. I kinda hated her a little bit then, smiled ,fussed over the baby again , said my goodbyes and walked away in tears.

This is the DM part, they don't work , mid twenties , barely good enough parents . It just feels so fucking unfair that I have to consider all the risks and cons and disadvantages because there is no safety net, and tell myself no. I don't begrudge them benefits,or the flat or whatever.. I know they need it and in a way we're a million times more fortunate. But fucking hell, I do begrudge them that baby.

I'll get over it, but today I just want to cry and stamp my feet and rant and shout It's not fair!

Worriedatthemoment Sheffield Council aren't doing many repairs, the ceiling has been down in the communal area of the flats I live in for almost a year & has been reported many times. We have to paddle to the door when it's raining

@lannistunut

The benefits system is one of the reasons that working doesn't provide a decent standard of living. Housing benefit pushes up rents and house prices for working families.. This is nonsense, talk about victim blaming. Lack of housing supply is what is driving house prices.

I would imagine the OP would also moan if there were a housing market correction which saw the value of her flat fall.

Not nonsense at all, it is fact that housing benefit pushes up both rents and house prices. Building new houses would would increase house prices if sold to mortgaged buyers. The only way building more houses would reduce prices if built and purchased with cash.

@Nat6999 chase them up and look at disrepair claims that landlords now have to justify etc , hope that helps as nothing worse when you pay your rent and nothing is done

Op I understand your position, it must be hard.
I think all the comments about OPs daughter being ‘better off’ are a bit shit though. People often find themselves financially vulnerable but that doesn’t make them less capable parents. My kids were born in a less than favourable financial situation and we lived in a temporary council owned bedsit. We are now doing well and dd has just got the highest in her cohort at A level.
Op ficus in what you can change on your own situation or the fact you will be lucky to own your own home in years to come.

There is no evidence that housing benefit drives up rent or house prices, there is a cap on how much will be paid too which is determined both by area (local housing allowance) and circumstances. It's not a case of "charge £2000 a month because housing benefit will cover it" as they likely won't.

The buy to let market has been a big factor in driving up prices as it convinces every Tom, Dick, and Harriet that they can get rich quick via renting out properties. By the time they add up the mortgage, agency fees, insurance, and then profit the end rent is probably double what the property is actually worth. That isn't me landlord bashing. There are some great landlords out there who know their stuff, do their job properly, and are responsible about it. There are also a lot of cowboys who buy up properties, have little awareness of tenants rights and of their own responsibilities, and charge an arm and a leg for it. Tighter control of the private renting sector would go a long way to bringing down market rents. The mortgage system is broken too. Someone can be paying £900 a month rent, never missed a payment in their whole tenancy, and will get turned down for a £500 a month mortgage because "it's a bad investment, we don't think you could afford it"

Worriedatthemoment The local newspaper has even reported on it & printed photos but nothing has shaped them, local MP's have even contacted them & all we get told is that there is a huge backlog due to the pandemic & they are only doing urgent repairs at the moment. Thankfully I am on the ground floor & ut's the lower ground floor at the back but I feel sorry for the people who are in the flat at the back.

It’s not that the couple shouldn’t be getting benefits.
It’s that there should be more support for families like yours.
Childcare for starters should be much, much cheaper, and the Tories need to stop supporting house price inflation.

It isn’t benefits that are making things unfair here.

@Clocktopus

There is no evidence that housing benefit drives up rent or house prices, there is a cap on how much will be paid too which is determined both by area (local housing allowance) and circumstances. It's not a case of "charge £2000 a month because housing benefit will cover it" as they likely won't.

Agreed. The days are long gone when LHA amounts would cover whatever the rental prices were. The rules now are the the government will pay up to an 'average' rent price for that property.

And this is why a lot of people had to relocate from London when the coalition got in and they suddenly couldn't afford to pay their rent any more.

@Grapewrath

Op I understand your position, it must be hard. I think all the comments about OPs daughter being ‘better off’ are a bit shit though. People often find themselves financially vulnerable but that doesn’t make them less capable parents. My kids were born in a less than favourable financial situation and we lived in a temporary council owned bedsit. We are now doing well and dd has just got the highest in her cohort at A level. Op ficus in what you can change on your own situation or the fact you will be lucky to own your own home in years to come.

Yes.

I think you should aim your resentment at the system that continues to prop up housing prices, which only benefits the people skimming off the profit from mortgage lending and rents, rather than the people at the bottom bumping along on benefits.

@Clocktopus

There is no evidence that housing benefit drives up rent or house prices, there is a cap on how much will be paid too which is determined both by area (local housing allowance) and circumstances. It's not a case of "charge £2000 a month because housing benefit will cover it" as they likely won't.

So if Rishi Sunak announced tomorrow he was abolishing housing benefit you don't think house prices or rents would be affected? I reckon house prices would fall at least 30% and rents would drop in many areas as well.

@Clocktopus

If they are two able bodied adults in their twenties they should be at work.

DWP will be expecting the same. There are claimant commitments involved in UC which state that they must spend a minimum number of hours each week looking for work as well as undertaking other tasks such as signing on, attending job coach meetings, training courses, etc. If they don't meet these then they get sanctioned.

Unless they are responsible for a child under the age of 3 which will relieve one of a couple of that requirement.

But they are still living on a pittance @MiddlesexGirl It's hardly a life of luxury - £300 a month or whatever for a child. And the UK pushes parents on benefits back to work far sooner than any other country in the world.

@HelenHywater

But they are still living on a pittance *@MiddlesexGirl* It's hardly a life of luxury - £300 a month or whatever for a child. And the UK pushes parents on benefits back to work far sooner than any other country in the world.

You really haven’t travelled the world much.

@tinierclanger

I think you should aim your resentment at the system that continues to prop up housing prices, which only benefits the people skimming off the profit from mortgage lending and rents, rather than the people at the bottom bumping along on benefits.

I completely agree.

You really haven’t travelled the world much.

People always say things like this 🙄 all it's indicative of is that you yourself haven't been in that situation so you have no idea what a struggle it is.

You really haven’t travelled the world much.

Ooh, is this were we start comparing ourselves to Egypt, or India or Sudan and taking about how lucky we are?
Why not compare ourselves to our neighbours instead? See how we're doing compared to Germany or Sweden or Belgium?

The person you know or anyone else in a simlar position are stopping you from having another baby. I don't know what your bring home income is . But for all anyone knows you could be spending on lots of luxurious or expensive things. It could be your money is getting lost in the wrong places. I have no idea if that's right or not. If you was to cut back a bit maybe you could afford another baby. If you suddenly had a baby tomorrow would you find away ?

You don't get council places because your on benefits. People that work have them as well. Maybe you could give up work and go on the benefit system probably won't be able to afford the mortgage. So then you could go through the eviction route end up homless in some hostel and wait for a council place like people on benefit often have to do. ( I know you can't really do that) but being on benefits is really not as great as you think .

It really pisses me off when people still think it's great to be on benefits. Because it isn't. And you should be ashamed of yourselves if you think people deserve to suffer just because they fell on hard times

There but for the grace of god go you. And I'm not sure this thread is genuine tbh

@Ideasplease322

I can absolutely see why there is resentment.

Society does need to have a safety net to ensure people have a roof over their heads and food on the table.

However, that safety net isnt always set at he right height. We have all seen the people who work the system, who seem to be able to access a good income, housing and mobility car all through benefits. And yet others who really struggle on benefits, with children still living in poverty.

I wouldn’t want to live in a society we’re children go without the basic necessities, in fact as I type that I realise I do live in a society where that happens. And yet some adults can live reasonably comfortably never working.

The system isn’t really working, and it is desperately unfair on those who are being failed.

We have a mobility car, as my son gets high rate mobility under SMI rules, hes non verbal severely autistic, will never live independently i can assure you we are not playing the system 🙄

I reported that comment yesterday and I can't believe @MNHQ allowed it to stand when it has a blatantly disablist comment.

I am sorry, my post was clumsily worded.

I did not meant hat everyone who has a mobility car does not deserve it - far from it.

I simply meant there are some who work the system. I grew up in an area where nearly every family had a mobility car - and they still do. These are for things like bad backs etc. I absolutely understand that many are deserving, but it’s hard to see when so many milk the system.

When you live in these types of areas, and I have family who still do, it’s hard to see.

I have a relative in his late fifties ago have never worked. Had five children and a nice enough council house. Always had a fairly new mobility car.

May parents both worked, owned their own house and really struggled to give us an amazing childhood, my dad works two jobs and could never have afforded the car this man was handed.

I absolutely know many are deserving of the cars, but some aren’t.

That is the reality of the situation.

@x2boys Nobody is accusing you of playing the system. I have no doubt you are a genuine claimant but a believe the system is far too generous. The motability scheme provides you with a brand new car where as many people who work are driving around in 10-15 year old cars and are worried they will be priced off the roads when electric cars become complulsary.

@Ideasplease322

I am sorry, my post was clumsily worded.

I did not meant hat everyone who has a mobility car does not deserve it - far from it.

I simply meant there are some who work the system. I grew up in an area where nearly every family had a mobility car - and they still do. These are for things like bad backs etc. I absolutely understand that many are deserving, but it’s hard to see when so many milk the system.

When you live in these types of areas, and I have family who still do, it’s hard to see.

I have a relative in his late fifties ago have never worked. Had five children and a nice enough council house. Always had a fairly new mobility car.

May parents both worked, owned their own house and really struggled to give us an amazing childhood, my dad works two jobs and could never have afforded the car this man was handed.

I absolutely know many are deserving of the cars, but some aren’t.

That is the reality of the situation.

I don't think there was anything wrong with what you said.