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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?

999 replies

herewegogc · 10/08/2021 21:27

The CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis has said "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma"

Apparently, survivors are to be "educated" in this service.

forwomen.scot/10/08/2021/the-real-crisis-at-rape-crisis-scotland/

Tonight is a really tough one. Women who have been raped or sexually assaulted need females to listen to them. Rape Crisis was that service and used to offer trauma based therapy.

I don't need educating - I know that detailing my experience to a man, or a transwomen is NEVER something I will do.

This is too much.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
PaleGreenGhost · 12/08/2021 16:42

enough I seem to recall the guidelines on how to treat trans people issued by Edinburgh uni taught as that even quietly moving away, as your DD is sensibly doing, is in fact transphobic.

Rinoachicken · 12/08/2021 16:43

Also good to see the Chair of Women’s Aid England also speaking out:

twitter.com/sarahhillfor100/status/1425454569748840449?s=21

Rinoachicken · 12/08/2021 16:44

She says:

“Female victims and survivors absolutely have the right (legally and morally) to ask for a female support worker or counsellor where they feel they need one. This is widely accepted as good practice in the VAWG sector isn't it?”

PickAChew · 12/08/2021 16:47

So according to rape crisis Scotland, women who have been raped should not object to being assigned a male counsellor, but us discussing this is "harmful".

Do they not even stop to consider that there would be a little less of this discussion if they made the promise that all rape survivors who wanted a female counsellor would have one with no fear of judgement?

Neverkneweldorado · 12/08/2021 16:47

For those asking what can be done in practical terms, I don't know if it would be worth complaining to the Office of the Scottish Charity Regulator (OSCR). Perhaps on the grounds that a) the CEO may be bringing the charity into disrepute/damaging its reputation b) the comments made by MW may discourage women from accessing the charity's services and c) the comments are potentially discriminatory (the belief that people cannot change sex now being clearly protected in law).

In Scotland, charity Trustees have specific duties not to allow the charity's reputation to be brought into disrepute and to comply with equality law. As far as I know, MW isn't a Trustee but the Trustees are responsible for the actions of their employees.

Concerns can be raised with OSCR online: www.oscr.org.uk/contact-oscr/charity-concern-form/

AlfonsoTheMango · 12/08/2021 17:08

Sarcasm

Well, of course you should reframe your trauma!

/sarcasm

Seriously. No, what a horrible thing to say to a person who has been sexually assaulted and needs support.

ColourMagic · 12/08/2021 17:28

Yet more. 11/12/2020:

'People only opposed GRA reforms as a way to expose their bigotry.'
'We must find out who they are because there's no point engaging with them.'
If they're transphobic, then they're also racist, ablist & a misogynist, even if they're women.
Mridul

twitter.com/OkBiology/status/1337341319811883008

.

littlbrowndog · 12/08/2021 17:55

Cripes MW. likes to use the word bigot a lot

Pallisers · 12/08/2021 18:03

Most of the thread has talked about women being "educated" about not wanting a transwoman as a counsellor.

But there is also the potential trauma of a woman who has been raped or abused by a man identifying as a woman or by a transitioning husband or partner being forced by even female counsellors to reframe her trauma as being carried out by a woman. This would be horrific and tbh seems far more likely to me. If therapy is political in MW's view, then of course ALL counsellors will be trained to "reframe" any alleged "bigotry"

littlbrowndog · 12/08/2021 18:10

Good to see others speaking up

AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?
FOJN · 12/08/2021 18:11

MW is drawing a line under the podcast! I assume MW expects women to follow suit. Looks like doubling down to me.

edinburghrapecrisis.wixsite.com/ercc/post/statement

Congressdingo · 12/08/2021 18:11

@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind

MN deleted my earlier post too- I didn't misgender- I just said fuck a lot, I'm fucking angry. I said that lib fems are not feminist and that women who agree that rape victims should 'reframe their trauma' are complicit in women's rights being destroyed.

It's starting to feel like censorship on here now.

Ages ago under a different username I too got very very angry at all this. I wrote an angry rant, pretty good one too and it was deleted as not in the spirit. I was told in the email to "go well" which I later discovered means nothing like go well.

I've learned to moderate my language if I want to talk about this and swear like a trooper elsewhere on the site.

Women self moderating, as it ever was.

Xenia · 12/08/2021 18:14

That quote posted just above from Patricia Currie in Glasgow is very good. I think common sense will prevail in the end over all these issues particularly if women (xx) stick to their guns.

littlbrowndog · 12/08/2021 18:21

This is MW not wanting Scottish women to have the right to ask for a female forensic examiner after they had been sexually assaulted.

So glad our parliament did the correct thing

Imagine the CEO of a rape crisis centre deciding Scottish women and girls should not have a choice

AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?
FindTheTruth · 12/08/2021 18:25

@ColourMagic

Yet more. 11/12/2020:

'People only opposed GRA reforms as a way to expose their bigotry.'
'We must find out who they are because there's no point engaging with them.'
If they're transphobic, then they're also racist, ablist & a misogynist, even if they're women.
Mridul

twitter.com/OkBiology/status/1337341319811883008

.

Feels like the right time to applaud the women defending our rights in court this year. Not many are white…

Sonia Appleby
Keira Bell
Allison Bailey
Maya Forstater
Raquel Rosario Sanchez

FindTheTruth · 12/08/2021 18:26

Xenia I hope so. so many women standing up and I salute them

FlibbertyGiblets · 12/08/2021 18:27

Well I am saying to MW: No, thank you. No thank you. No.

Datun · 12/08/2021 18:31

@littlbrowndog

This is MW not wanting Scottish women to have the right to ask for a female forensic examiner after they had been sexually assaulted.

So glad our parliament did the correct thing

Imagine the CEO of a rape crisis centre deciding Scottish women and girls should not have a choice

It's baffling how anyone can see these actions in any light other than misogynistic and self-serving.
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 12/08/2021 18:35

I wasn't aware how thoroughly this had got under my skin until I read the point from Patricia Currie posted by @littlbrowndog above and it made me cry. Thank you, so much, for screenshotting and posting that comment.

I had lost faith, having read that strange parallel-universe exchange on Twitter begun by Mhairi Hunter (did she borrow that name from Billy Connolly or what?) and began to question whether the world was going mad or I was. I had also received rapped knuckles on this thread for daring to question why rape victims constantly seem to be a target. Are some people not satisfied when women have already suffered enough? Why do they hate us to such an extent that they refuse to leave us in peace?

Solidarity with all the other victims who have bravely shared your stories on this thread. You restore faith. Flowers

KohlaParasanda · 12/08/2021 18:36

I've been sent a questionnaire about service priorities for a domestic abuse charity (not specifically focused on rape and sexual assault) and although the questions themselves were uncontroversial there was space for comments where I've highlighted the need for same sex provision with regard to both accommodation and counselling and for transwomen to be supported in a way that does not compromise the care of women and children. Just another little voice speaking up.

Leaningtoweroflisa · 12/08/2021 18:56

And more from the wonderful words of MW

edinburghrapecrisis.wixsite.com/ercc/post/statement

Leaningtoweroflisa · 12/08/2021 18:57

I am writing this because I want to make clear what I said on the Guilty Feminist Podcast, whilst I wish my language had been clearer, a few sentences in particular have been taken out of context. My input on the podcast is based on almost two decades of experience I have in working to tackle violence against women and support survivors of sexual violence. To start, it is critical to make clear that I am the CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre, which is a member of, but autonomous from, Rape Crisis Scotland. Both organisations have a track-record of supporting women through a survivor centred and non-judgemental approach. We must ensure those who need our services feel able to come to us and are not negatively impacted by online discourse.

All support is survivor centred, as it should be.

Let me make this very clear, if a woman engages with our services, through any route, and she feels she is not comfortable with the support worker allocated to her, we will of course, prioritise that need and will do whatever we can to provide the right support - this is the very basis of a person-centred approach and is a foundation of service delivery in advocacy work and support services across a number of sectors.

Alongside this, it is also critical that we act as proactive bystanders and lead by example as an organisation dedicated to equality and human rights. If what we see/hear from someone is clearly prejudiced and we are not responding to their urgent support need it is also part of our role to provide a space to explore and challenge this, in as kind a way as possible. In order for us to create a safe space for survivors it also needs to be a safe space for staff and volunteers, where everyone feels valued, safe and respected. That must be a priority if we are to be an ethical service provider for all survivors using our service, as well as an employer, taking seriously our role in creating a fairer society; this would be the case for any prejudice experienced be it racism, classism, homophobia, anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, or transphobia.

Sexual violence is part of systemic sexism and inequality – knowing this can help us through trauma.

I, the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre or the Rape Crisis movement in Scotland is not looking to re-educate survivors when they come in for the urgent, potentially life-saving support they may need – that would be inappropriate. What we can do, when they are ready and if they are interested, is to help them take part in wider discussions about how violence against women is a cause and a consequence of a deeply unequal and sexist society. Seeing it through this lens can, potentially, empower survivors to not feel alone (which is so important when they may be feeling blame or shame) and to understand and progress their recovery. These conversations can happen as part of support, if survivors are looking to have that conversation with their support worker; or they can join groupwork or workshops. This is what is meant by “reframing trauma”.

We owe it to each other to stand up to all forms of inequality and discrimination.

When I speak about sexual violence and domestic abuse, I speak from my experiences; as a migrant, as a woman of colour and as a trans woman – I am open about all of that, because being open about our experiences and being able to tell our own stories is one way that we can create a fairer society and fight back against the inequality that silences us.

There are multiple staff and volunteers in our centre who are migrants and women of colour and across their careers they, and I, have experienced racism and bigotry, and too often we have overlooked this across the violence against women sector. If we want to be a truly feminist organisation, we too need to be an anti-racist organisation, we need to be an organisation that stands up to homophobia, ableism, classism and yes, transphobia. This is the bigotry I referred to in the podcast.

I am drawing a line under the podcast and in desperate hope that my words here are understood in full and with the compassion and integrity I am writing with.

Leaningtoweroflisa · 12/08/2021 18:59

Sorry meant to do that as a paste / quote to show the source was the link in the previous post.

I’m cross and have a bad migraine sorry!

Chickenyhead · 12/08/2021 19:05

Because this is the interpretation the CEO of ERC has made in the past. t.co/ygZgHyDDr1

AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?
AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?
AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?