AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?

[herewegogc]

The CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis has said "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma"

Apparently, survivors are to be "educated" in this service.

forwomen.scot/10/08/2021/the-real-crisis-at-rape-crisis-scotland/

Tonight is a really tough one. Women who have been raped or sexually assaulted need females to listen to them. Rape Crisis was that service and used to offer trauma based therapy.

I don't need educating - I know that detailing my experience to a man, or a transwomen is NEVER something I will do.

This is too much.

@herewegogc

Hi all, still reading the responses, which are mostly excellent. Apart from those who have missed the point, wilfully or otherwise. To clarify - as a survivor, I cannot discuss my experience with a man, no matter how he identifies. I cannot have a smear test, see a male health care practitioner, use mixed sex toilets, come home late at night on my own in the dark. For those who think this is a theoretical debate ( when we are allowed to have one) for women like me we CAN'T. it is not that we WON'T. The trauma inflicted when I was young (12 for anyone who needs to know) has been compounded by years of low (and sometimes high) level sexism and the dismissal of sexual assault and rape (see the appalling conviction figures). To now have a this person pile on top calling us bigots because of a our involuntary trauma responses is beyond what I can stand to be honest.

It's OK. I feel it too. But this topic isn't about the truth of our experience. This conversation IS political.

Please don't absorb it all. Step away and look after you. You are brave and you are NOT going to be controlled by a trans woman's words, or anyone else's that hasn't experiencedwhat you have.

We are here for you. X

herewegogc FWIW, I believe you.

Thank you for sharing detail of what was done to you. I'm sorry that you feel you have to, and I'm extremely sorry that you were treated so badly as a child.

I'm really sorry that all of this absolute bullshit is raking up complex emotions and using up the energy of you and other survivors.

It's fucking grotesque that women who were traumatised by men have to explain why they don't much want to be around men.

This is not the society I want for me, or my mother or my daughter.

We can do better.

@Rinoachicken here you go

Articles

Brendan O Neill for Spiked
www.spiked-online.com/2021/08/11/now-even-rape-victims-are-being-called-bigots/

The Critic
thecritic.co.uk/reframe-your-trauma/

Times
archive.is/gezUd

@YetAnotherSpartacus

I think were this statement about a different minority group, you'd be appalled that the CEO would need to clarify that rape crisis was inclusive, which really begs the question, why is acceptable to do this to trans women?

I think if this were a statement about a different minority group (not women) there would be no question that the wants, needs and preferences of that group would come first.

It's only women who need to be put in their places.

Yes, exactly. There have been comparisons of beliefs that need “challenging” on this thread, linking transphobia to racism, and comparing a woman not wanting to be counselled by a male to a white person not wanting to have a black counsellor (a false equivalence IMO).

But imagine the scenario of a black person who has been subject to racial violence preferring a black counsellor, who is better able to understand the effects of racist abuse. IMO it is perfectly acceptable for a black person to feel uncomfortable at being counselled by a white person, who, however well meaning and sympathetic, can never really understand the experience of racism in the same way. Are they bigoted for asking to have a counsellor who they can relate to and feel comfortable with?

It isn’t okay for therapy to be given only under certain conditions. I might be a staunch atheist or Remainer or pro-vaxxer but I don’t have the right to say that someone Muslim or Mormon or anti-vax or Tory voter or Scientologist or anti-abortion or whatever, must agree to be re-educated to my views before they can access trauma support and therapy. Professional counsellors and therapists work under conditions that make this very clear. (And hotline volunteers are NOT trained therapists.) It is deeply, deeply unprofessional of someone who manages access to therapeutic services - and those that make use of public funds especially - to be suggesting this.

I believe that there is now a statement and blog for survivors too.

twitter.com/ForwomenScot/status/1425798105098854407?s=19

irresistibleoverwhelm Thank you for putting into words what my menopausal brain fog day prevented me from doing.

Mhairi Black MP @MhairiBlack is doubling down.
(1/3)There is nothing feminist about attacking Rape Crisis Scotland.
There is nothing admirable in indulging conspiracy theories about their work. twitter.com/MhairiBlack/status/1425776894063095808

I guess most of the PP are conspiracy theorists now...

irresistibleoverwhelm you make important points.

I'm an HCP. I have worked with people that I'd have found utterly revolting if I'd met them in a social setting. But, it was work and everyone deserves care - irrespective of their ability, politics or behaviour.

over the years I have worked with violent men, racists, criminals and general nasty-bits-of-work. I have been subjected to sectarian abuse, sexist abuse, had comments about my appearance, my background, my intelligence, my earning potential.

None of it is relevant to the job I am doing. People I work with are distressed, otherwise they wouldn't need to be in my clinic. Distressed people sometimes lash out at staff and sometimes people are just dickheads.

It wouldn't occur to me to expect them to be kind. That's ridiculous. It's my job to make a connection with that person and build a therapeutic relationship. If I can't do that with EVERYONE I'm shit at my job, the responsibility is entirely mine and the person is not allowed to abuse me, but, they do not need to apologise for their history or their distress.

MW needs to read a bit of Dworkin - feminism is about all women, even the ones you don't like.

I just can’t process the fact that saying you can’t change sex makes me a transphobe. It’s a denial of the biological facts.

TheKeatingFive that statement does harm too.

There is a kid in my teen's class who has spent the summer in acute psychiatric distress because they realised that it was not possible to change sex. This 14 year old believed they were a boy, actually believed the treatment would change each of their cells to XY chromosomes. Believed they could have a penis. BELIEVED it, not because they are deluded but because the way that Mermaids/STonewall/GIC worded things was factually incorrect.

That child is now dealing with a reality that they thought they had escaped and they are unwell.

It's unfair to do that to a person. Nothing but gender deals with reality in that way.

It is upsetting to see that kid so very unwell. The parents are distraught, they thought they were doing the right thing.

Mermaids and Stonewall are not clinicians. They are doing harm.

@TheKeatingFive

I just can’t process the fact that saying you can’t change sex makes me a transphobe. It’s a denial of the biological facts.

This.

I can't believe in this age that biology, science and fact can be so disputed.

I mean I do understand how 500 years ago, people believed the world was flat. There's no excuse for what is currently happening with trans ideology.

BeReet
Handsoffstrikesagain
Women that support the eradication of their fellow woman’s rights are particularly terrifying.

I find this one of the most mystifying parts of all. How can you be so disinterested or actively work against your own interests?

But by siding with the powerful oppressor they hope to protect themselves. They are working for their OWN interests.

They are not working in the interests of women as a class.

Given that 80-90% of children are supposed to come through it naturally, at what age do you do this and what could be the consequences.

I think, know, that this is a difficult line as a parent. Because, yes, I want her to live in reality, but, no, I don't want her to keep cutting herself.

So we are in watchful waiting, rather than ripping off the "options".

I can accept the facts of the argument 100% but the reality is a little more convoluted.

@TheKeatingFive

I just can’t process the fact that saying you can’t change sex makes me a transphobe. It’s a denial of the biological facts.

Yes, and as much as I have sympathy for someone who is so uncomfortable with their biology that they wish to assume another identity, I don't believe that everyone else should be compelled to go along with that.

Especially not when I can see well that it disadvantages women and girls.

Surely it is up to that person themselves to be supported to live in the world around them the best they can, not expect everyone else to capitulate to their version of reality. We do not do this for any other type of mental distress.

@herewegogc

Just wanted to post in solidarity. It's awful how many of us have these experiences and how young it starts in our lives. Why the fuck is this such a big part of all of our lives? I have a young daughter and I now feel sick with anxiety about how likely it is that she will go through experiences similar to what I did and to what we still potentially face every time we leave the fucking house.

Sorry for the off topic post it just is a very depressing subject.

Handsoffstrikesagain yes, it is awful.

Personal concern for the family aside - the issue is who cares for that kid? The GIC is of no use to them because they ONLY affirm.

It looks to me like there is no evidence based support to manage this acute mental health crisis caused in it's entirety by a vulnerable child believing what Mermaids told them.

There is no service to refer them to.

It's as far from "First Do No Harm" as you could possibly get.

And we live in Edinburgh, so, not exactly a huge city with a massive LGBT+ community. So if there is one kid that I know of then there are more even here, and goodness knows how many of these children there will be in Birmingham, Manchester or London - or Los Angeles or Sydney or Toronto.

It's fucking terrifying.

Chickenyhead I'm sorry you are having to figure out how to parent your way through this.

My friends who's teens are trans and NB identified are all either all worried sick or totally bought into it and painting bedrooms pastel pink and blue and white. One has even made their flower border the colours of the trans flag, FFS.

There does not seem to be a parenting middle ground and I'm sorry you are having to figure it out without decent guidance.

@LoverOfLight

Reading the whole quote I do feel a bit confused now. Is it just because it is wishy washy double speak?

At this point, a person keen to not politicise their position in the organisation would have clarified their quote.

This person has chosen not to and the organisation has also not specifically clarified that person’s words.

It begs the question why this has not been done.

The very fact that this person has historically said inflammatory statements and has made clear who they believe are ‘bigots’, leaves readers with no delusions as to who they are discussing. If they were truly in the job to make sure all people were welcome, that treatment was focused on healing for women, wouldn’t they be keen to clarify?

This is actually a PR nightmare and the organisation has doubled down.

I haven't had time to rtft right now, so apologies if this has already been posted, but I saw one of the original founders of RCC had responded to Mhairi Hunter's tweet. It's heartbreakign to hear how wrong this organisation has gone:

twitter.com/roswh/status/1425592866848583688

'We were the first Rape Crisis Centre in Scotland and as a women’s group, we were immensely proud of what we had achieved. We had worked very hard to make sure we could provide a service staffed by women & only for women. Mridul Wadhwa & ERCC have tried to destroy that.'

@ArabellaScott

I haven't had time to rtft right now, so apologies if this has already been posted, but I saw one of the original founders of RCC had responded to Mhairi Hunter's tweet. It's heartbreakign to hear how wrong this organisation has gone:

twitter.com/roswh/status/1425592866848583688

'We were the first Rape Crisis Centre in Scotland and as a women’s group, we were immensely proud of what we had achieved. We had worked very hard to make sure we could provide a service staffed by women & only for women. Mridul Wadhwa & ERCC have tried to destroy that.'

Was just about to post this tweet myself.

POW!! they tell it like it is. I love these women. and the women on here in solidarity. 💐to OP and all the PP sharing experiences, you are loved ❤️

@FindTheTruth thank you!

Agree with your post @Ikeasucks. This is what an attack on a rape crisis centre looks like. Right now Mhairi Black says "There is nothing feminist about attacking Rape Crisis Scotland" to all us responding to Wadhwa’s own words which speak for themselves. And the screenshots RCS posted are a red herring from MONTHS ago of some swearing they received AFTER voting against women’s right to single sex spaces.

The GOOD NEWS is that other Rape Crisis Centres in Scotland are speaking out too. and pointing out that they don't have much choice about who they get their funding through. I hope they release a joint statement.

It's hard for DC who have to sit and be preached to by transDC on all the many genders they may be feeling - they cannot say that's rubbish or women are women.

My teen DD has learnt to quietly move away from a loud group in her year or face 'educating' by one of the girls who feels like a boy some days and in-between on other days and then back to being a girl. It gets confusing as they name change to suit gender, so sometimes Polly becomes Mike... in a skirt in a girl's school

I'm just happy she has the summer break and the majority of her friends, like her, are more focused on having fun and living in the real world.