@Wroxie
You do not have the right to invalidate other’s trauma and experiences just because it is not in line with your own ideation.
Trauma is subjection and manifests in extremely individualistic ways. I hope you experience more compassion at your worst than you are exuding now.
No one is excusing any racism/transphobia whatever. We are saying that when a woman (or man - CIS or otherwise) come forward as a victim of abuse that their needs should be prioritised over those of the counsellors.
If a woman in a hijab or a niqab has been violated in inexplicable ways and finds comfort in sharing her ordeal with someone of the same faith is she racist? No, sit her down with the counsellor in the hijab and prioritise the victim’s feelings.
If a woman has been assaulted and all that is sticking in her mind her attacker’s Adam’s apple and she is now having to divulge the worst moments of her life to someone and all she can see is the Adam’s apple and it’s taking her right back is her trauma suddenly invalidated? No, sit her down with the counsellor who does not have an Adam’s apple.
If the person who attacked you had shoulder length curly hair and you find it triggering to be in the presence of someone with shoulder length curly hair then let’s bring in someone who’s ginger.
A woman has been abused by her same sex partner she may seek comfort in the presence of a man, does that make her misogynistic. No, her brain is fucking BEGGING for her to be in the presence of someone who is entirely different to her attacker.
If a black woman had been attacked by a white man and she found the presence of white skin claustrophobic does that make her racist? FUCKING NO because even if you don’t find these things triggering doesn’t give you a right to say that others are out of order or dramatic or whatever else.
These may appear irrational and sexist/racist/transphobic/whatever but you know what else is irrational? Rape. These people have every excuse in the book not to be fucking rational because they have been abused in the worst ways possible and their trust in others and their belief in humanity has been irreparably tainted and they deserve to feel safe regardless of how ‘irrational’ it may seem.
You do not become a rape crisis counsellor to have your feelings validated. You are there FOR THE VICTIM and if the counsellors are not prepared to experience these people at their lowest and most vulnerable and all the fucked up shitness that entails then they are in the wrong profession.
Sometime a rape crisis counsellor of certain backgrounds and persuasions is simply not wanted and that is ok. Why? Because to the next person who comes along their presence may be nirvana and they could be entirely what that victim needs.
A transgender woman will be invaluable to a rape crisis centre because trans women deserve a safe place too and their presence may be just what they need. However if a victim comes in and says I feel really uncomfortable talking to a trans woman I want xyz then that does not give that trans counsellor (or any other counsellor) to make that victim feel any shitter than they already do.
HOW IS THIS DIFFICULT?!