AIBU to be asked to reframe my trauma by the trans CEO of Scottish Rape Crisis?

[herewegogc]

The CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis has said "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma"

Apparently, survivors are to be "educated" in this service.

forwomen.scot/10/08/2021/the-real-crisis-at-rape-crisis-scotland/

Tonight is a really tough one. Women who have been raped or sexually assaulted need females to listen to them. Rape Crisis was that service and used to offer trauma based therapy.

I don't need educating - I know that detailing my experience to a man, or a transwomen is NEVER something I will do.

This is too much.

They link to a page where they reassure male victims that they will be treated with respect, not judged and provided with a male or female worker - whatever they prefer. Oh well, as long as the men are ok then.

twitter.com/Gillian_Philip/status/1425155716822753290

But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice.

If they are talking about the belief that sex is real, that is a belief protected in law isn't it?

Disgusting.

Shame on this entitled, misogynistic person. And shame on all the people working for and with this person, colluding in this complete and utter abandonment of everything women have fought so hard for in terms of services and spaces that are safe and supportive for traumatised WOMEN.

Sadly, I am not surprised though that they have said this. It is in keeping with other statements they have made.

I am surprised though at the doubling down of their employer. A CEO saying this is simply a step too far.

This is so, so wrong.
I'm not eloquent enough to explain how I feel about it. But it's wrong.

This is truly shocking. The lovely feminists on this site keep saying that we need to be wary of such things only to be shouted down as transphobic, bigots, wrong side of history, etc.

And then this happens. The erosion of our hard won sex based rights is very real, particularly in Scotland. But most don’t care as it doesn’t affect them until it’s far too late.

I dont think there is anything massively wrong with the full quote if you click through. Reframing your trauma I understood to mean being in counselling. I would expect people to be gently challenged if they say anything really prejudiced or offensive in counselling. There is clearly much more going on here than just this speech but a google search doesn't bring up much, the only article in mainstream press is behind a paywall.

@herewegogc

In the spirit of AIBU - my question is - should we, as females, just shut up in the spirit of kindness? Or should we, as survivors, say no, we will not allow our experiences to be dismissed and 'reframed'?

I think that we, as females, should tell whoever employed this person that they made an Olympic-sized fuck-up.

YANBU. At all.

@happydays2345

As someone who has been sexually assaulted I need a decent human to listen to me. I personally don't care how they identify.

Do think someone who thinks it appropriate to say the service they run has to help even transphobic bigots, but they will try to educate them to not be frightened of men after being raped sounds like the kind of decent human you would like to offer support?

@happydays2345

As someone who has been sexually assaulted I need a decent human to listen to me. I personally don't care how they identify.

I agree with this completely as a survivor of rape, sexual assault and domestic abuse. I attend a support group for women that is co-led by a man. It doesn't impact on how safe I feel there and this person is very good at his job. I don't think it's fair to judge people's qualities based on how they identify.

OP, YABU to believe that all women should agree that transwomen shouldn't be allowed into safe spaces and to assume that all women who have been assaulted need a female to talk to. I don't. I need someone compassionate and who can listen.

I agree that everyone should be able to ask for treatment/support from someone they feel comfortable with but, frankly, I find the whole notion that every transwoman trying to enter women's spaces has nefarious intentions incredibly offensive.

Also, there's a whole board devoted to this topic so YABU for discussing this here.

Awaiting the flaming...

Is his (her/their/whatever) appointment being legally challenged?

YANBU.

@impatientwatcher

I dont think there is anything massively wrong with the full quote if you click through. Reframing your trauma I understood to mean being in counselling. I would expect people to be gently challenged if they say anything really prejudiced or offensive in counselling. There is clearly much more going on here than just this speech but a google search doesn't bring up much, the only article in mainstream press is behind a paywall.

Except the prejudiced or offensive speech here is the counselled woman saying she doesn't want to be around males after her experience of rape, that she feels uncomfortable around men. She is to be 'not all men'-ed by her counsellor.

I can expect to be challenged on my prejudice

What prejudice is that? That at times I feel I need to be around females becuase I feel safe from their gaze, I feel safe they will not try to touch me inappropriately, I feel safe that they can not over power me

Once again girls and women are being asked or rather reminded men are more important

this absolute trashing of girls abs women’s needs has to stop

The statement is appalling - why should anyone even revisit how they feel about their trauma .

How they feel is how they feel . End of .

gimmenachos and happydays2345 that's great for you but don't give away the rights of another vulnerable woman (and perhaps her children) to speak to a female, if that is what they chose and makes them feel safe.

I find the whole notion that every transwoman trying to enter women's spaces has nefarious intentions incredibly offensive.

That’s just a straw man, based on your own prejudice.

YABU to believe that all women should agree that transwomen shouldn't be allowed into safe spaces and to assume that all women who have been assaulted need a female to talk to. I don't. I need someone compassionate and who can listen.

So because you are happy to have a male bodied counsellor you think all women should fall in line behind your preferences? Why are you disregarding their lived experiences?

Another poster made an excellent comment on another thread which I think bears repeating here -

'Four points regarding this that I thought were particularly acute on Twitter today:

• Help with the caveat of moral judgement and correction, is not the type of help that should be left behind in the Victorian era where it belongs. Demanding lip-service to an ideology as a barrier to adequate care is appalling behavior.

• In the past women had to renounce their sins or accept religion to access mother and baby homes or to receive help. That this kind of thinking is making a come back in government funded services for women who are tax payers is appalling.

• Pushing a political view on to a woman at a time of profound trauma and crisis is inappropriate, unethical and unprofessional.

• No matter the views of the therapist, it is completely inappropriate to push religious, political or cultural views on to the client during sessions. Ever. This is basic training. This is a total failure of professional competence.'

@gimmenachos

but you have a choice because you know he is a man

the statement is saying if you ask for a woman - you should re-think your decision because you have pre-conceived ideas .

NO - you are entitled to a choice .

@Grimbelina

gimmenachos and happydays2345 that's great for you but don't give away the rights of another vulnerable woman (and perhaps her children) to speak to a female, if that is what they chose and makes them feel safe.

This. A million percent.

@herewegogc

In the spirit of AIBU - my question is - should we, as females, just shut up in the spirit of kindness? Or should we, as survivors, say no, we will not allow our experiences to be dismissed and 'reframed'?

'No' is all yours. No one has the right to take 'no' away. Seriously, fuck this. NO.

I find the whole notion that every transwoman trying to enter women's spaces has nefarious intentions incredibly offensive

I don't believe anyone thinks that. I am GC... and know it is a minority, but a minority that does actual exist.

I don't want that minority in my spaces, my daughters spaces and most importantly, the spaces of other women and children who may be more vulnerable than me.

@Waitwhat23

excellent post

Really uplifted by the reaction to my post. Thank you all. See you tomorrow xxx