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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Choosing vanilla options, AIBU

167 replies

TulipTuloo · 10/08/2021 19:17

Twice in the last two days I've asked my family (DH, three early teenage children) to choose me a menu option as I was unable to choose for myself (either I was driving/parking or outside holding bags). First instance : ice cream shop with EVERY. FLAVOUR. UNDER. THE. SUN and then some. Lotus, biscoffi, bounty flavour, key lime pie, ferroro rocher, honeycomb, were some of the ones I commented on from the menu I could see. They came out with bog standard chocolate (could have bought chocolate ice cream in the spar shop). Then again this evening, Italian restaurant takeaway. They had various pizzas, some seafood risotto things, guess what? They came home with a tomato and mozzarella dish for me: which was LITERALLY 6 slices of a tomato and four slices of mozzarella. I was obviously dismayed and DH said "yes, yours was the cheapest now I come to think about it", yeah because its clearly a side dish?!? AIBU to be annoyed that they repeatedly choose the most vanilla options possible?! I have no eating disorders or allergies or anything stopping me from trying new things. My personality is reasonably out there, but this is so typical of what they choose for me (don't ask about birthday presents please, because that's even worse).

OP posts:
alltheemptyfields · 11/08/2021 11:49

you’d have been happy with slices of tomato and cheese for your dinner? That is all that was in the dish, not on a pizza or with pasta. Just slices of tomato and mozzarella!!

as it's a dish on many menus, guessing it's more than acceptable for a lot of people, or restaurants wouldn't bother offering it as a main.
I'd call it a salad but it's such a controversial word on MN Grin

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 11/08/2021 11:59

@alltheemptyfields

you’d have been happy with slices of tomato and cheese for your dinner? That is all that was in the dish, not on a pizza or with pasta. Just slices of tomato and mozzarella!!

as it's a dish on many menus, guessing it's more than acceptable for a lot of people, or restaurants wouldn't bother offering it as a main.
I'd call it a salad but it's such a controversial word on MN Grin

Yeah, no. No one has 6 slices of tomato and 4 slices of mozzarella as a main meal. It's literally a tomato and half a mozzarella, if even that. Imagine plonking that down on the table infront of someone for dinner🤨

Actually, this is MN. That would feed a majority of people on here for 4 meals.

alltheemptyfields · 11/08/2021 12:12

No one has 6 slices of tomato and 4 slices of mozzarella as a main meal.

oh gosh, we are with the competitive over-eating. It's getting so tedious Hmm

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 11/08/2021 12:25

[quote BamberGascoine]@Gettingthereslowly2020 you’d have been happy with slices of tomato and cheese for your dinner? That is all that was in the dish, not on a pizza or with pasta. Just slices of tomato and mozzarella!!

I voted YANBU- do they tend to like plain stuff? Next time you choose for them, go for something really out there that they would never ever choose. See how they like it![/quote]
I would indeed. In fact, I'd be even more pleased if someone brought me chocolate ice cream as well. I'd be grateful they'd brought me anything at all instead of moaning. If I was still hungry, I'd make myself something to eat like a normal person. It's really no big deal.

OP is just being a spoilt brat. She didn't tell them what she wanted and then moaned when they didn't use their mind reading skills to bring her something she actually wanted. I'm sure she's learnt her lesson and will either make her own meal in future or tell her family what she wants them to get her.

Kanaloa · 11/08/2021 12:28

Would I be happy with slices of tomato and cheese? No, so I’d say ‘get me a pizza extra peppers extra cheese stuffed crust.’ Then I’d have a pizza which I’d be happy with.

Polkadots2021 · 11/08/2021 12:30

In our family its 'winter Ice cream' or 'summer ice cream' which is code for hazelnut/Bailey's/coffee/etc flavours, or fruity ones. Try that!

alltheemptyfields · 11/08/2021 12:35

Would I be happy with slices of tomato and cheese?

when I asked for an ice cream, no I wouldn't either.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 11/08/2021 12:35

@alltheemptyfields

No one has 6 slices of tomato and 4 slices of mozzarella as a main meal.

oh gosh, we are with the competitive over-eating. It's getting so tedious Hmm

Oh yeah, wanting more than a starter/side dish as a full meal is definitely overeating😂
alltheemptyfields · 11/08/2021 12:37

Oh yeah, wanting more than a starter/side dish as a full meal is definitely overeating

yawn

always one to insist on derailing the thread. I guess food thread attract a certain type of posters?

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 11/08/2021 12:39

YAB totally unreasonable.

If you ask people to choose for you, they will pick a safe option. They won't risk choosing something you don't like. This is blatantly obvious surely?

If you want something exciting or unusual or specific, ASK FOR IT! You have a voice, don't make someone else the bad guy because you chose not to use it.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 11/08/2021 12:40

@alltheemptyfields

Oh yeah, wanting more than a starter/side dish as a full meal is definitely overeating

yawn

always one to insist on derailing the thread. I guess food thread attract a certain type of posters?

Oh definitely. Like the sort that insist they would be happy with whatever scraps they were given and think it's completely unreasonable for a woman to think her own hsuband could possibly choose something appropriate for her to eat.
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 11/08/2021 12:42

In fact, what you're doing is that annoying thing where people say "Oh, don't mind little old me, I'll have anything, just choose what you like, I'm easy with anything etc."

And then get the hump when you don't deliver their exact preference.

It's bloody annoying, and I'd be tempted to deliberately get something you didn't like just to stop you doing it.

BarbaraofSeville · 11/08/2021 12:49

Exactly @BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand, it's offloading the mental load onto someone else.

Which is unreasonable in a world where we're offered too much choice, which a lot of us find stressful to deal with (yes this is a real thing before the 'I wish that's all I had to worry about' crew pipe up). Most of us have enough to deal with choosing for ourselves from a menu/choice of ice creams, without having to do it for someone else as well, with no guidance as to what they might fancy that day.

alltheemptyfields · 11/08/2021 12:55

Oh definitely. Like the sort that insist they would be happy with whatever scraps they were given and think it's completely unreasonable for a woman to think her own hsuband could possibly choose something appropriate for her to eat.

I don't know, personally I know how to ask for what I want instead of expecting DH to guess what I might possibly be in the mood for that evening. 🤷

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 11/08/2021 12:56

It's often also about playing the martyr, as well offloading the choice on to someone else.

My mum will state no preference at all if you ask her what she'd like for e.g. dinner ("Don't mind little old me"), but will proceed to act the martyr when the meal isn't exactly what she fancied that day ("Oh, but I was really in the mood for fish today, but never mind, I'm sure this'll be fine.")

LouLou198 · 11/08/2021 12:58

I would have been disappointed too, but I would never have put myself in that situation!

alltheemptyfields · 11/08/2021 13:39

there's another (brilliant) thread over tiny passive-aggressive rebellious acts when someone deserves it. Bet the husband is on there Grin

Tell people what you want, how hard can it be.

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