Choosing vanilla options, AIBU

[TulipTuloo]

Twice in the last two days I've asked my family (DH, three early teenage children) to choose me a menu option as I was unable to choose for myself (either I was driving/parking or outside holding bags). First instance : ice cream shop with EVERY. FLAVOUR. UNDER. THE. SUN and then some. Lotus, biscoffi, bounty flavour, key lime pie, ferroro rocher, honeycomb, were some of the ones I commented on from the menu I could see. They came out with bog standard chocolate (could have bought chocolate ice cream in the spar shop). Then again this evening, Italian restaurant takeaway. They had various pizzas, some seafood risotto things, guess what? They came home with a tomato and mozzarella dish for me: which was LITERALLY 6 slices of a tomato and four slices of mozzarella. I was obviously dismayed and DH said "yes, yours was the cheapest now I come to think about it", yeah because its clearly a side dish?!? AIBU to be annoyed that they repeatedly choose the most vanilla options possible?! I have no eating disorders or allergies or anything stopping me from trying new things. My personality is reasonably out there, but this is so typical of what they choose for me (don't ask about birthday presents please, because that's even worse).

Crikey i hate it when people dont make a decision then whinge about what they get. My parents do it all the time. I actually shouted at them to pick something and not say whatever you think

I get what you mean though. I'd be unimpressed because they clearly either think I'm boring or don't know me well enough to know what I like.

Why do so many of you hate chocolate ice cream? It’s lovely

Do you feel undervalued in your family and the food choices are a manifestation of that? I'm wondering why you had to park the car/wait outside of the ice cream shop, as opposed to your OH.

Personally, I just don't understand why you don't just give a bit of direction eg 'meat based pizza or fruit flavoured ice cream', rather than giving none and being disappointed. It's the same with gifts.

YANBU

You'd have thought that a half decent DH of however many years would have picked up on your likes and dislikes. Is he like this with other things eg. birthday and Christmas presents?

@LovePoppy

Why do so many of you hate chocolate ice cream? It’s lovely

Because it's the worst flavour. Chocolate itself is amazing and ice cream just weakens it and makes it meh. It also stains everything.

@LovePoppy

Why do so many of you hate chocolate ice cream? It’s lovely

Chocolate is a risky choice as it varies from super rich to barely any chocolate content. Strawberry is my safe choice.

How lovely to have a telepathic family who can divine intuitively what their mother wants. Most of us have to state what we want. Might even get it if luck's on our side.

Oh come on, if they had every flavour of ice cream under the sun then why not just say "I want .....?"

You can't complain about someone's choice if you aren't willing to chose yourself

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Oh come on, if they had every flavour of ice cream under the sun then why not just say "I want .....?"

You can't complain about someone's choice if you aren't willing to chose yourself

The ice cream I agree with.

But, she bloody can when she's presented with 6 slices of tomato and 4 slices of mozzarella for her dinner. There's no excuse for that.

I just think there is a difference not getting the exact flavour you would choose and not putting any effort into think what someone would like. If the OP was complaining they picked coconut when they preferred lemon fair enough but she just wanted a little thought not the most generic item on the menu

But, she bloody can when she's presented with 6 slices of tomato and 4 slices of mozzarella for her dinner. There's no excuse for that

Italian takeaway, not that hard to think of something for yourself,even if it's just a few suggestions.

Exactly @Aprilx, it seems like an odd scenario. Who doesn't even make the most basic effort to look at the menu online at least and make a suggestion?

It's almost like the OP was setting them up to fail a test they didn't even know that they were taking.

@wednesdayweather

I'm totally with you OP. Your children are teenagers so they have known you for some time and your H presumably for 20+ years. They should have some idea of the sort of food you like by now and been able to buy you that. Its not about you ' using your voice' in this one situation: its about them having spent some time getting to know you over the past two decades and being able to put that knowledge to practical purpose.

You are completely reasonable to expect your family to have some idea of who you are and what you like to eat. Its shit that people on here think women shouldn't be able to expect this from their long term partners.

This.

I could order for my husband anywhere and get it right. Now I'm wondering if he could do the same for me...

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

But, she bloody can when she's presented with 6 slices of tomato and 4 slices of mozzarella for her dinner. There's no excuse for that

Italian takeaway, not that hard to think of something for yourself,even if it's just a few suggestions.

You don't order a starter for dinner for someone you give one shit about. He could have got her the most boring pasta dish, but getting her a starter just seems mean.

Is it annoying that she can't just say "get me pasta"? Yep. Is it okay that his punishment was to get her nearly nothing? No.

I sincerely hope she ate his food instead.

It weird after being together long enough to have teenage kids that your husband can't choose what he KNOWS you would like.
If DH and I go out for dinner (when we were allowed to do stuff like that!) we both could pretty much narrow down to a few items what the other would order. And neither of us are picky eaters, we just understand what the other would most enjoy eating

I could order for my husband anywhere and get it right. Now I'm wondering if he could do the same for me

But to do that, you'd have to consistently make the same choice about type, flavour and amount of food every time you go anywhere. Not everyone does that, I certainly don't. I want to see the menu and decide what's on offer, how hungry I am, what I fancy having to eat, are there any new specials etc.

Sorry, but I think you're being ridiculous. You could have said x, y or z for the ice cream and given an indication of what you wanted. As for the Italian, how difficult is it to say 'some sort of pasta' or 'pepperoni pizza or something similar'.

I wouldn't have let it happen again after the first time! I'd have told them to wait. When I asked the family to order me an ice cream last week I said I fancy something citrusy or if not any sorbet meaning it narrowed the choice to about 6 flavours. You could easily have said I fancy pizza or pasta or something with sea food

Sorry, but I think you're being ridiculous. You could have said x, y or z for the ice cream and given an indication of what you wanted. As for the Italian, how difficult is it to say 'some sort of pasta' or 'pepperoni pizza or something similar'

Exactly

@Gettingthereslowly2020 you’d have been happy with slices of tomato and cheese for your dinner? That is all that was in the dish, not on a pizza or with pasta. Just slices of tomato and mozzarella!!

I voted YANBU- do they tend to like plain stuff? Next time you choose for them, go for something really out there that they would never ever choose. See how they like it!

YAB a little U but I do get it
My dad went to M&S to get me food after an op, out of all the possible tasty puddings (and he knows I have a chocolate love!) he chose..
Lemon mousse

@wednesdayweather

I'm totally with you OP. Your children are teenagers so they have known you for some time and your H presumably for 20+ years. They should have some idea of the sort of food you like by now and been able to buy you that. Its not about you ' using your voice' in this one situation: its about them having spent some time getting to know you over the past two decades and being able to put that knowledge to practical purpose.

You are completely reasonable to expect your family to have some idea of who you are and what you like to eat. Its shit that people on here think women shouldn't be able to expect this from their long term partners.

Well presumably they know she likes chocolate ice cream and tomato and mozzarella.

Bloody hell, some people are hard work.