To ask Aquarium to put a radar lock on the disabled toilet

[Worrysaboutalot]

We went to a large aquarium centre today for DC2’s birthday. It was very busy with many families enjoying the centre. We had a great day out

As I am in a wheelchair, I have no choice in which bathroom I can use, I had to use the disabled toilet.

I had to wait until a mother and a couple of younger kids came out of the disabled toilet which surprised me. As it looked unlikely that any of the younger kids would need nappies.

Then I went in this was a dedicated disabled (not accessible) toilet with no baby change facilities! I do understand that the first mother might have an invisible disability, as might her children. So thought no more on it.

All the time I was in, the door handle was being rattled and I kept calling out that the toilet was occupied, which was frustrating.
When I left and an impatient mother with a pram was waiting to go in. I told her that there was no nappy changing facilities in that toilet, assuming she wanting to change the baby. But she snapped at me that she was a mother and had to use this toilet gesturing to the pram.

I felt that this second mother was just entitled and rude. Having a pram doesn’t entitle you to use a disabled toilet. Use the end toilet in the women’s bathroom, with the door open and the pram in the toilet doorway, like everyone else does.

Years ago, I had 4 kids under 6yo at one stage and I never used the disability toilets, except for the baby changing ones for baby changing purposes.

Therefore, AIBU to have asked the aquarium centre to add a radar lock to the bathroom. AS this was the ONLY disabled toilet, and the baby change facilities were separate. To increase the likelihood of ringfencing these limited facilities for those who actually need them, rather than those people who want to use them.

Just because a baby is a choice doesn't mean you have implicitly chosen to pee or bleed in public

Yet women managed perfectly well previously taking their children into the ladies toilets. For years and years. Until this new generation of parents, many who feel they have the right to use the disabled toilets, with complete disregard for those with disabilities.

I wonder what levels of entitlement their children will stretch to when the time comes.

but you can't decide that someone hasn't got a right to disabled toilets because you see them with a pram.

You don't know, you can't know, so you shouldn't be angry about it.

Of course no one is pretending that it's fair use when you want to touch up your make up, or just can't be bothered with a longer queue.
But as you have no way of knowing what the issues are, no point being negative about it.

but you can't decide that someone hasn't got a right to disabled toilets because you see them with a pram.

of course. Although plenty here have already said that they use it, not because they have a disability, but because they think they have a right to.

Yet women managed perfectly well previously taking their children into the ladies toilets.

I love that kind of statement, based on basically nothing, just a random thought confused with a fact.

YOU might have managed perfectly well and not needed the toilets, or have any physical issue, been casual about leaving a baby unattended, or you might have been happy to pee with the door opened and not bothered to change your own sanitary towel publicly, who knows,

but you can't talk for everybody.

@Kendodd

So someone that has a sickness bug should just shit themselves in a queue rather than rush to the empty disabled accessible loo?

I've heard disabled people saying they would rather people shit themselves in the street than use the disabled.

So this has gone from a totally not made up anecdote about a former college to multiple disabled people saying that?

@Jorrris

Just because a baby is a choice doesn't mean you have implicitly chosen to pee or bleed in public

Yet women managed perfectly well previously taking their children into the ladies toilets. For years and years. Until this new generation of parents, many who feel they have the right to use the disabled toilets, with complete disregard for those with disabilities.

I wonder what levels of entitlement their children will stretch to when the time comes.

Yes previous generations were so famously accommodating of the needs of women, weren't they?

but you can't talk for everybody.

Toilets were full of women in the same boat dear. I rarely came across the level of entitlement that's present now.

Do men ever do this or is it exclusively women that you hate?
Urinals don't have doors, so for most male toilet visits it is easy to supervise a pram while in there.

Yes previous generations were so famously accommodating of the needs of women, weren't they?

Ah, was there something you wanted to say? Do continue?

Every disabled toilet with a radar key I have seen to date, has a sign saying our staff will open this door for you, just ask.

And not every disabled person can read a sign like that.

@CustardCreamm

I have twins and there is no way I'd be able to go into the normal toilet cubicles with my double pram. I always have to use the disabled toilet but that's the way it is and i don't feel bad about it. I think you're being very unreasonable to suggest using the toilet with the door open and the pram propped in front of the door, mothers are humans too believe it or not!

Whilst we're on the subject, maybe disabled users could stop using parent and child parking spaces?

@CustardCreamm

While we’re on the subject, maybe (the minority of entitled) parents could stop comparing courtesy P&C parking spaces to accessible/blue badge parking. The latter is required by law whereas is just vying for you to spend your money there by offering a big and convenient space.

Toilets were full of women in the same boat dear.

I don't know where you are from, but ever heard about privacy?

don't know where you are from, but ever heard about privacy

Yep. Ever heard of respect?

@Jorrris

Yes previous generations were so famously accommodating of the needs of women, weren't they?

Ah, was there something you wanted to say? Do continue?

I'm pretty sure I have just done so... To rephrase: Just because people (women) had to put up with all kinds of demeaning crap in the past is no reason to carry on now.

I'm pretty sure I have just done so... To rephrase:
Just because people (women) had to put up with all kinds of demeaning crap in the past is no reason to carry on now

No that's right. You just go and demean others instead. That'll teach em. Right?

The door open suggestions were OTT otherwise I'd agree people without disabilities should not be taken up the facilities.
Obviously it isn't anyone's place to question random people they may have hidden disabilities

@Jorrris

don't know where you are from, but ever heard about privacy

Yep. Ever heard of respect?

quite...

everyone deserves respect, even a woman who choose to have a baby.

Jorrris

In times gone by children also played out on the streets unsupervised at a much earlier age then they do now. My DM as a young primary age child walked to the shop with a note from her Dad asking the shopkeeper to let her buy his cigarettes.

With the internet and access to news 24/7 we are now far more aware of the risks to our children. Take the James Bulger case for example, two kids were just able to walk off with a crying toddler. No fucking way would I leave my DCs unattended. No way would I piss in front of strangers. So disabled loo it is.

You know I really hate when people say ‘dear’ or similar when they’re disagreeing. It comes across quite patronising and nasty.

Anyway, I would say there’s been a lot of disagreement on this thread. I mean there’s a poster saying anyone who isn’t in a wheelchair has ‘made up bullshit’ and shouldn’t be using disabled toilets. But what most people can agree on is that you can’t know. Someone may have a disability or they may not, you don’t know from just seeing them. And unfortunately sometimes you need to wait - even if it was another disabled person you’d still need to wait, this happens to me occasionally. It’s very annoying but I just have to tolerate it. I get round it by going to the toilet as often as possible, even when I don’t really need to.

everyone deserves respect, even a woman who choose to have a baby.

Not everyone though. Like the person who needs the disabled toilet that disabled people campaigned for. But as long as you're alright 👍

Knowing that up to a very recent past, it was barely considered decent to be seen in public while pregnant, I seriously doubt the "public loo companionship and oversharing" above

have ever existed anywhere but the imagination of some posters.

It never help a discussion when you start making things up.

Women absolutely do deserve respect and privacy. I am hugely supportive of this. No woman should feel forced to pee with the door open. I’d be mortified. It’s not an acceptable option. However, I often see threads on MN about topics like this and think how much time people spend defending their right to use an accessible toilet and I wonder what proportion of people actually do something proactive to change it. The thing us, as long as people feel entitled to use the accessible facilities, they’re less likely to fire off an email or sign a petition. Whereas, when there was nothing for people with disabilities, people had to take action.

You know I really hate when people say ‘dear’ or similar when they’re disagreeing. It comes across quite patronising and nasty

Just my language. Sorry it offend you. I hate people who come out with words like Hun. I won't say the reasons why though. But it takes all sorts.

It didn’t offend me, it just made me think you’re probably quite a rude person.

@Jorrris

everyone deserves respect, even a woman who choose to have a baby.

Not everyone though. Like the person who needs the disabled toilet that disabled people campaigned for. But as long as you're alright 👍

I don't know what you are on about, no one has refused access to a disabled person.

You are not qualified to decide who NEEDS them, and a pram tells you nothing.