Friend annoyed that I wouldn't split the bill

[notonyournelleee]

6 of us went out for a nice meal for DFriend's birthday.

I was the only one who didn't drink alcohol. Just a few lemonades. At the end one person said 'Should we just split the bill then?' But she didn't say it as a question, more of a leading statement. She then got her phone out and split it 6 ways. Came to just over £40 each!

I said 'Sorry, no. You've all drunk quite a bit and I've had no alcohol at all. Would you mind if I pay separately?'

They said yeah fine... and the atmosphere was a little odd after that. We all went our separate ways after that. It wasn't a particularly expensive place but not cheap. Food very reasonably priced but of course the alcohol stacked up the bill significantly

Ive been messaged my birthday girl this morning to say I was really out of order and should've just split. Everyone was a bit upset.

AIBU to not have split?!

I felt like I was being fair there. She also said she was opening her gifts from me in the evening but I've had no words in a way of thank you

You did nothing wrong, OP. Birthday girl shouldn't have expected you to subsidise. Presumably she wanted your company and not your money at the meal?

If the BG ever intends to have a hen do and wedding with trips to hotels and spas, avoid at all costs!

BG. You're a twat.

Yanbu.

I’d never expect someone who hadn’t drunk any alcohol to essentially help pay for mine.

YANBU, no.

In my various groups of friends, it was always an understood thing that those who drank alcohol paid more to the bill than those who didn't - either be reducing the non-drinkers' bills by a reasonable amount, or by letting them pay separately.

It's REALLY unreasonable to make people split the bill equally when some have consumed a lot of expensive items (inc alcohol) and some haven't.

Well birthday girl, if you weren't such a fucking greedy chancer and scammer, you wouldn't have a problem! You didn't even want to tip, for goodness sakes. Grow up and stop being a CF and greedy chancer. And tip in future, you tightwad. That you feel you have any right to be upset is galling!

OP, you have my sympathies, you did nothing at all wrong, and your CFer 'friend' has a guilty conscience, clearly. Don't let her make you feel bad, either for stopping her greedy antics or for this thread. Hold your head up high. I think you might want to reconsider this so-called 'friend' and her place in your life, she's no friend, she's parasitic and toxic (and cheap with the waiters and their tip). You deserve so much better. Rest assured, it's her loss, not yours.

Hey birthday girl, seeing as how you like having your say it's an enormous shame you haven't actually come out of the shadows on this thread. I'm sure lots of us would like to know whether you've actually thanked OP for her gifts, why you didn't leave a tip and why you think it's reasonable for the OP to pay double her bill to subsidise you and your friends?

32 pages - and counting - almost entirely made up of anonymous cheerleaders for the OP. I hope you get the message that your behaviour has been entitled and nasty. The fact you're berating OP for not subsiding the bill when you didn't even leave a tip is particularly hypocritical.

OP, I hope you're OK and have got some other, decent friends. This one is no loss.

Another anonymous supporter for you OP. You were not in the slightest unreasonable.
I don't drink alcohol either, and whilst I don't mind picking up an extra few quid if the bill us split there is no way I would pay an extra £20 - effectively the cost of another meal in your case.
And none of my friends would expect me too. In fact mostly they are adamant that I don't pay anything whatsoever towards their alcohol even if I don't mind.
If Birthday Girl and her pals fall out with you over this I'd say it's their loss, not yours. Find some other friends who don't expect you to subsidise their drinks - there's plenty of reasonable people out there I promise.

I always pay my own meal and I am always respectful of budgets, if I am only out with say 1 or 2 friends we may split the bill but we pre agree prices, restaurants and what we consume it's just respectful. I had a similar issue in year 11 at school, went to a friends birthday dinner that I didn't know anyone else and I was actually working as a lifeguard part-time so could only afford to spend like 30 pounds, some of the group kept trying to insist we split the bill when a few of us had only had a pizza and a drink and they had sides, desserts and multiple drinks I didn't mind contributing to birthday girls bill but why should I pay the others who I didn't know

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

😂😂😂

Yeah it's usually the people who want their lifestyle subsidized by others who buy all the expensive drinks and have no thought for the people who just have soft drinks

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

So what did happen?

What can you offer to change the narrative so use cheerleaders get our Pom poms out for you?

Did you leave a tip?

Did you thank the OP for the present she gave you?

Do you want to explain why you think it's ok for a person to pay double the amount due to subsidise your other friends?

As for being patient (about what? Waiting for posters to tell you that you didn't behave badly?), try instead to reflect on your poor behaviour.

You and your friends tried to cheat your friend out of money and succeeded in doing just that to the serving staff responsible for your nice evening by not leaving a tip.

Shame on you.

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

@coolgirldancing if you're Birthday Girl then why don't you tell us your side then? Are you saying that you didn't want the bill split when one of wasn't drinking? Are you saying that you didn't leave a tip? Are you saying that you have thanked the OP for her gift? Because if the answer is no to any/all of those 3 questions then whether we were there or not is irrelevant. You displayed disgusting manners, and you should apologise to the OP.

In Australia. Some restaurants here are starting to use a QR code on the table which takes you to the menu and you order and pay on your phone. This will sort out people like BG and her cheap friends.
You've done nothing wrong OP.

Oi, birthday girl, you're a bit of a cunt tbh

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

🥇🥇🥇🥇

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

A) What did you have a need to be patient about?

B) Why "forum" ... do you not understand the definition?

C) No-one asked you to read through pages and pages, all the information is available in the OP

D) your shit, not "you're shit"; were there, not "was there"; you know not "you knows".

E) Feel free to give your side of the story

F) you're so clever, not "your so clever"

G) Just the one life between us all? Should we split it equally?

H) phones not phone's

I) you're proud, not "your proud"

J) I am proud, btw thanks for asking.

K) Disgusting

HTH

@melj1213 hahaha legend xx

@melj1213 I love this

Mental because when asking people out for my birthday I explicitly say we all will be paying our own bills, one person will pay and the others will send over their rough costs etc it's unbelievably rude to expect it to be paid for

Going to stick my neck out and say that coolgirldancing isn’t the birthday girl. Just a hunch.

@melj1213 "G) Just the one life between us all? Should we split it equally?"

bwahaha I almost choked on the sandwich I was eating when I read that. Genuinely laughing hard. That is gold!

@coolgirldancing

I've been more than patient, but this "forum" is pathetic. I'm not reading through pages and pages of you're shit, but none of you was there, none of you knows what actually happened. You all think your so clever but you need to get a life. Get out a bit, stop sitting on your phone's or whatever. I hope your all proud of yourself. Discusting

Oh dear 😩🤣

So discustin