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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend annoyed that I wouldn't split the bill

999 replies

notonyournelleee · 09/08/2021 09:48

6 of us went out for a nice meal for DFriend's birthday.

I was the only one who didn't drink alcohol. Just a few lemonades. At the end one person said 'Should we just split the bill then?' But she didn't say it as a question, more of a leading statement. She then got her phone out and split it 6 ways. Came to just over £40 each!

I said 'Sorry, no. You've all drunk quite a bit and I've had no alcohol at all. Would you mind if I pay separately?'

They said yeah fine... and the atmosphere was a little odd after that. We all went our separate ways after that. It wasn't a particularly expensive place but not cheap. Food very reasonably priced but of course the alcohol stacked up the bill significantly

Ive been messaged my birthday girl this morning to say I was really out of order and should've just split. Everyone was a bit upset.

AIBU to not have split?!

I felt like I was being fair there. She also said she was opening her gifts from me in the evening but I've had no words in a way of thank you Sad

OP posts:
FrenchBoule · 09/08/2021 19:37

Well OP, no loss to you. Good for standing up to these freeloaders aka Cheeky Fuckers

Birthday Girl you and your friends are tight as gnat’s arse. Nobody taught you basic manners or do you enjoy screwing your friends over?

lastcall · 09/08/2021 19:39

@notonyournelleee

The birthday girl has replied to say

'I've seen your thread. I can't believe you'd do this! We just wanted a good night. Never mind, enjoy your anonymous cheerleaders!'

I'm so Angry and haven't replied but I'm sure she will see this!!

She's doubling down on being an unreasonable cow. Imagine being that entitled to someone else's money. CFery extraordinaire.
IRIELADY · 09/08/2021 19:40

What a bunch of nasty CFers, better off w/o trash like that.

drpet49 · 09/08/2021 19:41

@ tttigress

And I would say you are tacky and a cheapskate.

IRIELADY · 09/08/2021 19:41

@Killahangilion

Hello Birthday Girl
  1. Why haven’t you thanked OP for her present?
  1. Why didn’t you or your tight friends leave a tip?
  1. Why did you expect OP to subsidise you and your drinking buddies?
  1. How does it feel to be outed as a Cheeky Fucker on Mumsnet?
BG? We await your response!
Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 09/08/2021 19:41

Sounds like birthday girl and her friends are NOT nice people OP! Now she's shown her true colours I'd be blocking any further contact, what a rude, entitled bitch!!

RampantIvy · 09/08/2021 19:41

@TopBlogger

The lurking " Birthday girl " -

can you explain

  1. why none of you left a tip? And
  2. why a non drinker should subsidise the drinkers?

Thanks!

Seconded Why should your friend subsidise everyone else's drinks? You are just a selfish cheapskate.
gertrudemortimer · 09/08/2021 19:41

I've had this before when I went for a meal with my friend and our children I asked to pay separately as my son didn't eat their food and I hadn't had any alcohol I added an extra £5 tip and she then added up what I put in (including tip) and took it off the amount she owed I was too embarrassed to point it out but there was no tip left..

DeflatedGinDrinker · 09/08/2021 19:42

Just read thread properly. Birthday girl sounds awful with that reply. Be glad you are rid op.

2021V2 · 09/08/2021 19:42

@Killahangilion

Hello Birthday Girl
  1. Why haven’t you thanked OP for her present?
  1. Why didn’t you or your tight friends leave a tip?
  1. Why did you expect OP to subsidise you and your drinking buddies?
  1. How does it feel to be outed as a Cheeky Fucker on Mumsnet?
^ this totally this.

I’m shocked she hasn’t read the thread and thought actually I’ve been out of order here and I need to apologise = correct response.

Maybe next year you won’t have any friends to celebrate your birthday with 🤷‍♀️

FloFlower · 09/08/2021 19:48

Hah - I can afford to split bills but would I heck be paying £21 extra so some CF can have a subsidised meal. This is not the House of Commons.

phoenixrosehere · 09/08/2021 19:50

I dont understand why paying for their own alcohol means they didnt have a good night?

Neither do I. Plus, OP doesn’t even really know them. Bit entitled to expect a stranger that didn’t drink any alcohol to pay much more for their meal because they chose to drink.

They saw the prices just as OP did they knew the cost of what they were ordering. I bet they were hoping OP wouldn’t say anything and they had an extra person to split their alcohol cost so they wouldn’t have to pay the full price of what they chose to order.

caughtinanet · 09/08/2021 19:51

If you're still reading Birthday Girl you clearly have no class or manners

Surprising the only people offended by non bill splitters are those who expect others to pay for them. Your friendship will be no loss to the OP unless she's missing some vital parts of the story

Plumtree391 · 09/08/2021 19:51

Was there no tip left?

I'm surprised the 'friend' didn't understand as the op is not a drinker. Hopefully she is no longer a friend.

Oh well, lessons learned.

QueenBee52 · 09/08/2021 19:52

Big Brat Birthday Bully 🤣

TalkingOutYerArse · 09/08/2021 19:53

@tttigress

Unless you have serious financial problems, or the other people were ordering completely ridiculous drinks like extremely aged whiskey, I would say YABU.
Your friend has arrived OP
IdblowJonSnow · 09/08/2021 19:55

Yanbu. You'd have paid literally double!
They are being dicks - their problem. Also, there is no obligation to discuss this at the start of a meal as a PP suggested!

nocoolnamesleft · 09/08/2021 19:56

You absolutely 100% should not have subsidised their alcohol. And it was poor form of them not to leave a tip.

tigger1001 · 09/08/2021 19:58

@tttigress

Unless you have serious financial problems, or the other people were ordering completely ridiculous drinks like extremely aged whiskey, I would say YABU.
Eh? So it's ok to expect one friend to double their bill in order to make everyone else's cheaper?

In all honesty expecting others to subsidise your night out is just rude. Order what you can afford and expect to pay for what you ordered and don't get huffy when others won't pay for your night.

BakewellGin1 · 09/08/2021 19:59

Cake Birthday Girl... You and your other friends are cheeky expecting people to pay double the cost of their meal and drinks to subsidise your meal. If you cannot afford or don't want to pay for it then do not eat or drink it...

Also you are all tight for not paying a tip so it was generous that the Op thought to do so.

Maybe you should be apologising and thanking her not being offended and stroppy.

CovidDoesNotExistDuh · 09/08/2021 20:02

No you're not BU.

I always pay my share. A combination of allergies and ARFID mean quite often I have one single side dish and a coke, I'm not sharing the bill for 3 courses with cocktails. I go to see my friends not pay for their meals.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 09/08/2021 20:08

@tttigress

Unless you have serious financial problems, or the other people were ordering completely ridiculous drinks like extremely aged whiskey, I would say YABU.
If you don't have "serious financial problems" why are you expecting others to pick up your tab?
whatsthataboutthen · 09/08/2021 20:10

Unless you have serious financial problems, or the other people were ordering completely ridiculous drinks like extremely aged whiskey, I would say YABU.

No doubt Birthday Girl has shared the news with her other freeloading sponging friends that there is a post about them on Mumsnet.

This is undoubtedly one of them. I can just imagine them saying it.

itsgettingwierd · 09/08/2021 20:12

@notonyournelleee

The birthday girl has replied to say

'I've seen your thread. I can't believe you'd do this! We just wanted a good night. Never mind, enjoy your anonymous cheerleaders!'

I'm so Angry and haven't replied but I'm sure she will see this!!

Friend should realise the fact you have "cheerleaders" agreeing with you says more about her than you!

And about her friends.

Cheeky bunch of freeloaders expecting you to pay for their drinks!

AnAnonymousCheerleader · 09/08/2021 20:15

@tttigress

Unless you have serious financial problems, or the other people were ordering completely ridiculous drinks like extremely aged whiskey, I would say YABU.
Hilarious at all the digs that someone must be in serious financial trouble to not want to pay £21 towards strangers costs and not the people getting angry and sending shitty texts at paying an extra £4/£5 towards their own much higher costs.

If the venue accidentally over charged for things they didn't order, the same people calling the op tight, tacky or poor for not wanting her bill doubled, would be the first to ask for the bill to be readjusted cos they'd charged £20 too much. Suddenly doesn't become miserly or cheap then.