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Original poster

What's the worst thing someone did when you had a new baby?

886 replies

Cuddlyrottweiler · 08/08/2021 10:52

Another thread reminded me of this, it's probably tame compared to some of yours though!

MIL called my DH in from another room and told him to take my newborn, crying baby off me and give him to her. After I'd refused several times, because I knew what he needed and couldn't do it. Luckily for our marriage he saw the look and my face and told her no.

OP posts:
JustSaying101 · 08/08/2021 23:09

So many of these are absolutely horrendous, it really does shock me how friends, family and even medical professionals behave to women during pregnancy or post partum.

I have (unfortunately) many similar experiences, however, one of the oddest occurances was my then neighbour (who we never talked to), asked me why I had never told them we were having a baby and called me a rude bitch for excluding them from our news, claiming they felt left out and hurt?! The following week, the same neighbour asked me if I needed any babysitting to let them know...🤔 Thankfully we have since moved house!

allotmentgardener · 08/08/2021 23:16

After a 2.45am emergency section (ds1 his heart beat kept plummeting) after an extended labour - at 8am the breastfeeding feeding consultant flounced in mid feed(!) Without knocking and exclaimed "of course. Another section. You lot clearly havnt tried labouring properly. Useless" sent me into a meltdown after planning a home birth. Bitch.

Highfivemum · 08/08/2021 23:16

Midwife walking onto the ward and shouting at me to get up as I had only had a baby. !! This was at 6 am. I had given birth at 10 pounds the night before after a 48 labour with problems. I had stitches galore and was packed with webbing in agony. Never get her rudeness.
Second was another midwife who visited me the day after I got home from a C section. My friend had offered to look after my baby while I had a Shower. I walked down from the shower to see the midwife who immediately shouted at me for over wrapping my baby in a blanket. I hadn’t my friend had thought it was chilly so put an extra blanket on. I literally cried my eyes out when she left .
Another was a midwife shouting at me when I had severe mastistis !!! She told me it was my fault for not breastfeeding. When if she checked my notes I couldn’t.

Another one was a midwife who said I needed to get a grip when I was in labour and I asked could I have a drink please. Her attitude was wait as I am too busy to deal with mums like you.
Lots more like this which is sad as now I have a bad opinion of midwifes.

malificent7 · 08/08/2021 23:18

My dad told me to " pull myself together" 2 days after my csection when I had no idea how to inject myself with anti coagulants. I was a single mum. Cheers dad! .

malificent7 · 08/08/2021 23:20

Also got told off by a nurse after c section for " pulling my canuula out." I didn't. It fell out.

abw94 · 08/08/2021 23:20

Not even close to some of these stories (how a lot of you kept your cool I applaud!).
Visited my aunties house when baby was 3 months old, they have a yappy dog, my DS was in his car seat on the sofa and the dog kept jumping up at him, I said many times can you please put the dog in the other room (I know it's their house but with a very young baby you just would for the sake of an hour?) was told 'dog was fine when our children were young' Confused

MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat · 08/08/2021 23:23

I nearly died giving birth. Was in a very bad state when I came home from the hospital both mentally and physically. Dh FaceTimed his parents when we were home. Mil didn’t care how I was, didnt ask about me at all and just screamed ‘where’s MY baby!!!’ Down the phone at him. I’d been through all of that and not a care in the world for how I was she just wanted to get her hands on my baby and claim him as hers. Still pisses me off 4 years on.

Eggnoggoanngoanngoann · 08/08/2021 23:24

First time out with double pram after having son no2. Jan baby so not many people realised i was pregnant due to winter coat etc. Woman who i would say hello to in passing stopped me and asked if i had had another baby and what had i had. I said yes i had another boy and she replied with ..Oh what a shame..never mind you can always try again. I was so shocked i just walked off Shock

Elsielouise13 · 08/08/2021 23:27

A GP said to me, ‘yes, sometimes they do just curl up and die’…..

Buttercup54321 · 08/08/2021 23:27

When my daughters were born in the 90s, cot death was in the news a lot and I , like a lot of parents, was very worried about it and confided in the health visitor about my fears.
A few weeks later she made an unplanned visit and practically bounced into the lounge bursting out that one of her patients had suffered a cot death, the baby was older than mine and had both my daughters first names.
Evil woman . If it was now id have raised merry hell, but I was quiet in those days so just got very anxious and upset.
A few years later she said something about my son. I took him to the doctor and her so called medical diagnosis was completely unfounded. I reported her that time.
Didnt see her again and heard she had emigrated.

Itonlymakesyoustronger · 08/08/2021 23:30

Once my DD was born (after a horrific pregnancy including DVT and PE, which lead to a horrific, emergency c-section) me and my husband had chosen a name for DD. We decided to tell everyone once she was born. My in laws decided to bring us a cake with babies name on it asking the night before for the correct spelling of the name - which we provided. Excitedly I opened the cake box to find they had got a cake which had the name they wanted to have her named!! I was fuming but hormones were all over the place and all I could do was cry

MyMummyHasGotABigBottom · 08/08/2021 23:32

My MIL questioned why I wouldn’t put DD down even when she was sleeping (days/weeks old). She woke up and cried every time I did so I was just trucking on. And I kept on trucking on with my (then) super clingy DD who napped in a sling and woke multiple times a night, cuddled her when she needed and didn’t leave her to be sad… and it was bloody hard and I mostly don’t miss those days but as a result, she’s a confident little nearly 5yo now and you can bet your bottom dollar MIL would never attribute her confidence and secureness to my/our parenting. She approves of me far less than she lets on, the mask often slips, and I’m almost positive that she wishes she had a different DIL.

abw94 · 08/08/2021 23:33

Sorry I've remembered one from when I was pregnant!

Around 14 weeks pregnant I was suffering with migraines (if you know you know!) next door neighbour (lived in a terrace house) was having a party, was going in to the early hours and I was struggling to sleep as it was. By 1am I'd had enough and went round to knock on their door, a lady partygoer answered (not the actual neighbour), I explained I was pregnant and had a migraine and could they turn the music down a bit as it was rather loud? Her response was 'well just take some paracetamol', I was too shocked to even respond and just went back home. Neighbour never acknowledged this so don't think the partygoer told him but I always held a grudge!

omgthepain · 08/08/2021 23:36

The dreaded bounty woman

YouokHun · 08/08/2021 23:36

I remember dealing with a lively three year old and a DS who didn’t sleep with no support and slowly getting more and more depressed and sleep deprived. I began to feel unsafe and suicidal and so went to the GP. His response was “oh for goodness sake, my wife has three children and she copes”. I remember leaving the GP very close to the edge. It was such a throw away comment but it confirmed all I already thought about myself at the time as not good enough, I’ve never forgotten how I felt. Luckily I saw an excellent GP weeks later when I summoned up the courage to seek help again.

sage46 · 08/08/2021 23:36

Midwife berated my DP and I for not being married and said that it would have a detrimental effect on our DD 9(I t hasn't!), this was in 1990..

cadburyegg · 08/08/2021 23:39

My now ex DH who made a horrible comment about how I was “dripping milk all over” DS1 Sad

The health visitor who hadn’t noted DS1’s birthmarks in his red book and basically accused me of child abuse.

My friend who asked to come round and visit newborn DS1 and I said not today I’m too tired etc and she showed up anyway. When I didn’t answer she shouted through the letterbox, looked through the window, asked my neighbours where I was.

Got chatting with another mum at baby group when I had DS2, she had a boy a similar age. she said something like “oh id hate to have 2 boys you poor thing”. I said after a miscarriage and high risk pregnancy I was happy with my 2 boys. She didn’t speak to me again. Recently - 3 years later - I saw her in the park with her now 3 year old and baby boy 😁😁

Icanflyhigh · 08/08/2021 23:39

Ex MIL - 2 days after leaving intensive care after a HUGE PPH, internal and external tearing and a LOT of stitches, DD2 was 5 days old, EBF and a lot of cluster feeding going on, turned up at the house, with ex SIL, an ancient aunt I'd met only once before and a god-bothering friend I'd never met before in my life.
They took up all the seats in the living room, exH asked everyone what they wanted to drink, then gave me a list "because your memory is a bit off right now"

I make drinks, supply biscuits and then end up sat on cold wooden floor as no one moved for me to sit down.

Feeling a bit tearful and overwhelmed, not helped by baby starting to get grumpy and needing a feed, tried to get up and take baby to dining room to feed, MIL TOOK THE BABY OFF ME and asked where I thought I was going.

I was literally saved by the bell when the HV arrived to do a stitches check on me. I have never heard a woman be so stern without raising her voice.

She tucked me and DD into bed, removed the visitors from the house and told them not to return for at least 10 days and asked DH what on earth he thought he was doing?!

Neither ex MIL or exH ever forgave me for that.

Ireallymustgetup · 08/08/2021 23:39

Man in the supermarket approached me when DD, who had awful silent reflux, was howling in the sling. He smugly told me he knew what was wrong as he had children and suggested I let him change her nappy for me. Obviously I refused to let him take my four week old baby and told him she had just been changed and that I did actually know what I was doing as I’m a trained nanny with years of experience.

Still not sure if he was just a smug git or up to no good. I was too taken aback to report him to security at the time.

Starsky82 · 08/08/2021 23:42

This is nowhere near as bad as some on here, but my mil keeps calling my son ‘the baby’ she has done since he was born and still does now at 8 months 🙈 it makes me cringe and I make a point of saying his name at every opportunity.

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 09/08/2021 00:03

At my 5 day check the midwife told me I would make my DS obese as I was feeding on demand. He was EBF. Thank goodness he was my second.

Beckhamsmetatarsal · 09/08/2021 00:14

Offered to pay for a vasectomy (in laws)

NothingEverChangesButTheShoes · 09/08/2021 00:19

"Will it have the same as you?" Work colleagues.
"I hope it won't have a cleft lip" My mother.
"Has it gota hare lip?" A very aged aunt who I am pleased to report has since died in agony.
"I didn't think people like you had babies." Some random cow in the supermarket.
"Are you the auntie or the nanny? You don't look like your baby." As above.
"How are we going to address that baby may be bullied about your face when they're at school? My mother again. Who wonders why I am LC.

I didn't announce until over 20 week to anyone. Even my parents.

Lemonandlime123 · 09/08/2021 00:25

Not me but when I was on the postnatal ward there was a woman in the opposite bay who had asked for help getting her baby to latch. The midwife sighed loudly and said "this is not your first baby you should know what you're doing" 😱

StrangeLookingParasite · 09/08/2021 00:30

Because he was being clever
I admit it was a bit untidy-pile of clothes on the bed,ready to put away and a few toys out
I may have not put my shoes away (damn you labour pains)
He seemed to think that by dragging every single item I owned and throwing it down the stairs (where a lot of stuff got broken) it would ‘encourage me to tidy up’

I wouldn’t dream of going though someone’s stuff let alone do that

He does have form for being a spiteful bastard tho

Jesus wept, crossstitch, what a weapons-grade shithead. I hope you're away from him now.