to be amazed at well behaved child?

[ThinWomansBrain]

I went to the proms last night - just along the row from me (actually in my seat, but there were plenty spare) were a family with about 4 children, the youngest about six. I groaned inwardly as I sat down, but the small child was amazingly well behaved, appeared to sit quiet and attentively through two and a half hours of classical music.
Even I was feeling a bit fidgety towards the end!

By contrast older children in the cinema last week must have got up during the film for loo/drinks trips with parents at least three times.
And as for the 70+ y/o in front of me last night who played non stop on her phone, including playing the bloody radio with no headphones through the intervals... words fail me.

My eldest two were like this at a young age! I have no idea how, certainly not my parenting! They're not quite so angelic now as preteens, although can still sit still and be exceptionally well behaved when required. They like rules and like follwing them, so school in particular suits them down to the ground, and their teachers always report that they're SO well behaved. At home though they can be destructive noisy horrors to be fair! However to stop my head getting too big, I then had my youngest...different story altogether!!!

@3scape

I'd be a bit hypervigilant about the interactions. Of course there are very well behaved and cared for children. But I know I was beautifully behaved in certain situations BECAUSE of the very real threat of violence. So my suspicions would be raised.

🙄

My ds is like this . He is now 5yo and such a dream. Absolutely everyone comments on this. You could take him anywhere and everywhere and he is just so well behaved. I rarely need to tell him off. The problem is that I'm so used to him, that I'm now intolerant to badly behaved children.

I don't consider DS being lively and noisy in public to be naughty.

@SleepingStandingUp really hope I never have to sit next to you and your DS at a restaurant.

I have 5 DCs of varying ages from 8 to young adults and all of mine are and have been like this.

I can take them anywhere and they will behave appropriately, occasionally needing a reminder.

When we go to the park or soft play etc, they run around like crazy, shouting and having riotous fun like everyone else. When we go to a restaurant they sit and chat with the family, eat dinner etc. It's what they've been taught to do. And no we are not religious

@MeridasMum

I have 5 DCs of varying ages from 8 to young adults and all of mine are and have been like this.

I can take them anywhere and they will behave appropriately, occasionally needing a reminder.

When we go to the park or soft play etc, they run around like crazy, shouting and having riotous fun like everyone else. When we go to a restaurant they sit and chat with the family, eat dinner etc. It's what they've been taught to do. And no we are not religious

Mine were the same, all four of them. No idea what we did to parent them that way, they just kind of did it.

I’m just here for the competitive parenting stories grabs popcorn

My dds were always very well behaved, we used to get old ladies coming up to us and commenting on it, which was lovely!
I’m not sure if we are just lucky or not. They were always, from an early age, removed from anywhere if their behaviour disturbed anyone else in cafes, pubs, cinemas, churches, dh or I would be found outside walking around with a tired or bored young child. So by the time they got to 5 or 6, we never had to remove them again. They learnt to sit and enjoy what was infront of them.

When I mentioned church in my post, that was in reference to Weddings and christening, we aren’t religious at all.

I took DS on long coach journeys, from one end if UK to the other at 5/6. I expected him to sit still and behave. He did. Yes we played things like Ispy and Grandmother' attic. I told him stories and such. Most if the time we just watched the world go by.
And know he wasn't beaten or abused. I just had expectations if him.

His DD, flew (pre covid) to South Africa and back twice before the age of 4. Neither time did she misbehave. Again there were expectations of her.

Children can lived up to those expectations if we let them.

Taking the grandchildren on holiday when they were 6 and 7, we impressed on them the importance of "Maldives Manners" in the restaurant.
This paid off as our waiter said ( cue stealth boast) "The best children I have ever had' .
Budget kicking in the next year we went to the Dominican Republic. Reminding them about the need for 'Maldives Manners' their dad said

" Now it's 'Dominican Decorum' " .

@lllllllllll

I’m just here for the competitive parenting stories grabs popcorn

Why?

@lllllllllll

I’m just here for the competitive parenting stories grabs popcorn

Classic mumsnetter

Anyone deriving to admit they
Don’t drink gin
They don’t have a bad sleeper
Their children enjoys fruit and veg
Their child does well at school

And in this case - their child has good manners

Is boasting / being twat / showing of / competitive parenting

Enjoy your popcorn.

@Dongdingdong

I don't consider DS being lively and noisy in public to be naughty.

@SleepingStandingUp really hope I never have to sit next to you and your DS at a restaurant.

Sorry i meant outside in public.

But anyway, if you're in a family eaterie, it's unreasonable to expect silence whilst you eat. Noisy chatter is par to the course. No one would expect a table of adults to sit whispering to each other.

I'd be a bit hypervigilant about the interactions. Of course there are very well behaved and cared for children. But I know I was beautifully behaved in certain situations BECAUSE of the very real threat of violence. So my suspicions would be raised.

I'm sorry to hear about your past but you're massively projecting. DS has always been polite & well behaved. We've never laid a finger on him in violence. It's just the way he's seen us behave in public and how he was raised.

But anyway, if you're in a family eaterie, it's unreasonable to expect silence whilst you eat. Noisy chatter is par to the course. No one would expect a table of adults to sit whispering to each other.

@SleepingStandingUp noisy chatter I don’t mind at all. It’s kids screaming or running around the restaurant that I find irritating.

@alltheemptyfields

Some parents expect their children to behave and some clearly don’t. Children are capable of far more than we give credit for.

exactly.

It's quite depressing that a normally well behaved child seems such a rarity for some.

I dont think they are rare, you just dont notice them. The thread the other day about the 5 year old at the hotel.Im staying in a nice hotel here, loads of little children at breakfast all behaving, none behaving like that 5 year , yet MN lining up to tell her that her 5 year old was normal behavioue

were really badly behaved if all they did was get up to go to the toilet. You expect that at the cinema

They could go before or after the screening.

But they don’t want to sit still they want to run about with their friends instead!

Why?

Because it’s hilarious

Some people have a weird sense of humour

Enjoy your popcorn.

@Marmitemarinaded thanks, I will - might pour myself a gin too while I’m at it!

Noone has been competitive though. I know if you live your life on Mumsnet it's hard to believe that some children in real life are well behaved and have good manners shrug

@lllllllllll

Don’t forget to throw your kids a packet of family size crisps and a can of coke, and then start a thread about their poor diet and obesity, but you don’t know what you’re doing wrong!

I couldn’t sit for that long without fidgeting and I’m a well behaved adult!

There are far too few people nowadays who seem capable of teaching their children to sit down and be quiet. They seem incapable of teaching manners.

Either that, or they just don't give a shit about their feral brats running amok and annoying everyone else.