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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

999 replies

crazymicrowave123 · 06/08/2021 13:01

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 07/08/2021 13:51

These spurious objections are ridiculous

I know right? If they have to try so hard to make it problematic, doesn’t that tell them something?

eightyfourandahalf · 07/08/2021 13:51

How is a child who still gets breastfed at lunch time going to be school ready if they can’t go all day without a feed?

They’re only in school 3/4 hours at the start, hardly onerous to work around that. I’m sure they’ll manage it.

rightly or wrongly, a day in reception is 9 to 3pm here, the schools don't offer half days , and it still is a shorter day compared to nursery and preschool.

VenusSap · 07/08/2021 13:52

@TheKeatingFive

It’s really not normal for 4/5 yr olds to breastfed.

Go educate yourself on historical biological norms.

And stop calling people oddballs. It’s very unpleasant and childish.

We are in the 21st century now. It’s not acceptable.
TheKeatingFive · 07/08/2021 13:52

Children are in 6 hours a day from the start aren’t they?

Mine certainly weren’t, but even six is pretty simple to work around, don’t you think?

TheKeatingFive · 07/08/2021 13:53

It’s not acceptable.

Only because you’ve been conditioned to think boobs are for the menz.

wincarwoo · 07/08/2021 13:53

@eightyfourandahalf

How is a child who still gets breastfed at lunch time going to be school ready if they can’t go all day without a feed?

They’re only in school 3/4 hours at the start, hardly onerous to work around that. I’m sure they’ll manage it.

rightly or wrongly, a day in reception is 9 to 3pm here, the schools don't offer half days , and it still is a shorter day compared to nursery and preschool.

And?

Let's await the story in the Daily Fail of all the kids crying out for "boobie" on their first day in reception.

Handsoffstrikesagain · 07/08/2021 13:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

EasterIssland · 07/08/2021 13:55

“ We are in the 21st century now. It’s not acceptable.”

Would you like to explain why isn’t it acceptable? And can you please provide me links so I can read why isn’t it acceptable so I can make an inform decision for myself and my son?

nevergoesaway · 07/08/2021 13:55

@eightyfourandahalf

as if anyone is going to read a MN thread and put their hands up, oh you are right, it IS weird and not "natural", I see your point now instead of blaming "society" 😂
Not sure if this is aimed at me, but I changed my opinion after reading this thread and felt it educated me a lot. Before this I admit I judged my friend who fed her kids til they were 5/6. I’m adaptable in my views if there’s evidence, so if you have any please post it as I’d be interested in seeing.
Neverrains · 07/08/2021 13:56

The teeth thing is quite well known- breast milk is quite high in natural sugars, and it’s something dentists say (it’s often used as a stick to beat dentists with on MN actually...)

Higher in sugar than the soft drinks people serve to 5 year olds? Or the haribo they’re given at parties? Or, in fact, the fruit they eat?
When a baby/child breastfeeds the milk goes to the back of the mouth and is swallowed. It doesn’t pool on the teeth.

hehehhehe · 07/08/2021 13:56

Who are these people telling me what's acceptable for me and my child?

I simply don't care. They're not in a position to know or dictate. I'm so glad I don't feel under pressure to listen to all these bossy people.

eightyfourandahalf · 07/08/2021 13:58

@TheKeatingFive

It’s not acceptable.

Only because you’ve been conditioned to think boobs are for the menz.

who's sexualising here..

Proves the point about the weirdos.

TheKeatingFive · 07/08/2021 14:00

who's sexualising here

I don’t have an issue with it. You do. What other reason would explain your views?

ParadiseLaundry · 07/08/2021 14:01

@Neverrains

The teeth thing is quite well known- breast milk is quite high in natural sugars, and it’s something dentists say (it’s often used as a stick to beat dentists with on MN actually...)

Higher in sugar than the soft drinks people serve to 5 year olds? Or the haribo they’re given at parties? Or, in fact, the fruit they eat?
When a baby/child breastfeeds the milk goes to the back of the mouth and is swallowed. It doesn’t pool on the teeth.

This. I've always wondered how the dentists prove it's the breast milk that's causing the problems and not all of the other shit that most kids (mine included) eat. Unless they only see cavities in breastfed children.....

FWIW our dentist is very pro natural term breastfeeding because of the benefits to jaw development and teeth spacing.

RealBecca · 07/08/2021 14:01

Unbelievably nasty of you.

"Hey person paying me, i think what you do is wrong and ove told my family and they think so too."

I actually hope you carry on like this about nappies and dummies and eberything else because then you'll just be left with your nasty judgemental family and you can all secretly judge eachother and bitch about eachother and row amongst yourself. Glad you showed your true colours so she can live a better life without you.

VenusSap · 07/08/2021 14:01

@TheKeatingFive

It’s not acceptable.

Only because you’ve been conditioned to think boobs are for the menz.

It’s really not because Iv been conditioned. I don’t have a problem with women BFing but til 5?

Nah, It’s weird and it’s only the odd ball hippie type of families that would do it.

VenusSap · 07/08/2021 14:02

@TheKeatingFive

who's sexualising here

I don’t have an issue with it. You do. What other reason would explain your views?

You are the one sexualising it. I haven’t mentioned anything sexual.
5zeds · 07/08/2021 14:03

Arf at breeding not being “acceptable”.

RealBecca · 07/08/2021 14:03

And btw, its not seen much because people like you make people uncomfortable by being judgemental. Same reason people used to hide their sexuality etc. Because people like you think you know better.

EasterIssland · 07/08/2021 14:04

And bingo!!!

“ the odd ball hippie type of families that would do it.”

I’d rather be a hippie type of family that doesn’t care about what the rest do with their family than someone that starts putting names on others just because they do something they’d not do

burritofan · 07/08/2021 14:04

We are in the 21st century now. It’s not acceptable.
What do these two sentences have to do with each other? It’s Saturday today. Breastfeeding is fine and none of your business.

VenusSap · 07/08/2021 14:04

@EasterIssland

And bingo!!!

“ the odd ball hippie type of families that would do it.”

I’d rather be a hippie type of family that doesn’t care about what the rest do with their family than someone that starts putting names on others just because they do something they’d not do

Good for you. 🤣
VenusSap · 07/08/2021 14:05

@burritofan

We are in the 21st century now. It’s not acceptable. What do these two sentences have to do with each other? It’s Saturday today. Breastfeeding is fine and none of your business.
You cut out what I replied too 🙄
DaisyWaldron · 07/08/2021 14:06

My kids weren't bullied at school (except for DD for a little bit aged 10 in a tween friendship spat which had nothing to do with milk and didn't last long). Their teeth are fine, although the youngest has braces, having inherited his father's mouth shape. Breastfeeding actually makes that less likely. I think they have the right balance between independence and communication with family.

I suspect that there are far more older toddlers/young children being breastfed than you realise. People don't tend to mention it to all and sundry because there's often a reaction of "bitty!" or disgust, or jokes about breastfeeding 20 year olds, but I can think of plenty of teenagers I know who were breastfed for a relatively long time. They all seem perfectly normal and well-balanced. As a group, their main distinguishing feature would be that there is a disproportionately high level of very sporty kids, but I think that's just a coincidence rather than magical breastmilk qualities (or possibly down to factors that are likely to make parents both breastfeed for longer and encourage sportiness in their children).

TheKeatingFive · 07/08/2021 14:06

You are the one sexualising it.

No. Society has conditioned you to believe that breasts have a more important function than their original biological function (guess what?).

Hence all your awful childish language about weird, oddball, hippies.