Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

These awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers is why campaigns are needed!!

I don't think there are awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers on this thread. The vast majority are supportive of breastfeeding. It's just that after a certain age it's a bit peculiar and not really the norm.

Weirdos... odd balls... freaks
These are the words used to describe women who breastfeed past infancy in this thread.
It has been insinuated that women are doing it for selfish reasons, that their children won’t be independent.

It’s bloody rude and insulting.
If similar language was used to describe women who choose not to breast feed and instead bottle feed there would be uproar.

Luckily the law is on the side of bf mothers of babies/toddlers/5/6/7 year olds so whether the perverse lot on mn thinks its OK or not is irrelevant.

And even if you don't believe the science proving the benefits of natural term weaning, then you still need to respect the law which allows mothers to bf their children in public.

And if you ignore science and law then you are probably a shitty person to begin with and you have bigger issues then over sexualisation of breasts.

I’ve read every post on this thread and want to say I feel I’ve been educated. After reading the first post I too would say I found BF past the age of about 2 to be ‘weird’. My friend BF her children til they were around 5/6 and I used to find it odd and didn’t agree with her choice, I never said that though. I have to say though that her children have turned out to be incredibly independent and secure in themselves.

Anyway thank you to those who posted links about the biology of this, I do feel like I’ve been able to look at it from a different angle and I didn’t actually realise that it was ‘normal’ from a physical point of view. I definitely think there are issues in our society with how we view BF mothers, some of these comments are so disgusting.

To the OP: I feel bad for this woman, she must be pretty desperate if she’s still asking you to consider babysitting for her, she was offended by your family’s remarks but is still asking for help, yet you seem proud that you’ve refused. I can’t help but feel for her.

@3WildOnes

Weirdos... odd balls... freaks These are the words used to describe women who breastfeed past infancy in this thread. It has been insinuated that women are doing it for selfish reasons, that their children won’t be independent.

It’s bloody rude and insulting.
If similar language was used to describe women who choose not to breast feed and instead bottle feed there would be uproar.

Not to mention insinuating that there’s some sexual motive behind it too. So awful to read some of these comments.

@orangejumpsuit

These awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers is why campaigns are needed!!

I don't think there are awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers on this thread. The vast majority are supportive of breastfeeding. It's just that after a certain age it's a bit peculiar and not really the norm.

But they aren't supportive really. It's really I'll support the concept as long as you don't go beyond what I understand to be "normal" otherwise I'm happy to let you know that I find it a bit revolting.

Wonder why this is needed …

In countries where children don’t start formal schooling until 6 or 7 would you think it ok for a mother to breastfeed their 4-year-old infant? Is it just because our society forces them into schooling from age 4 that you no longer consider a 4-year-old worthy of its mother’s comfort and milk?

Nothing to do with school. Have you SEEN a 4 year old? No one disagrees that early years is fine, but KS1 should be delayed. It doesn't mean they are babies anymore, act like babies, or have the same need as babies. They are not even toddlers, they are on entire stage of their life entirely.

Let them be, they should be allowed to grow up.

@orangejumpsuit

These awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers is why campaigns are needed!!

I don't think there are awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers on this thread. The vast majority are supportive of breastfeeding. It's just that after a certain age it's a bit peculiar and not really the norm.

Calling me weirdo / paedophile or that I’m assaulting my son is supporting bf ? Is this what you think is normal? Just because I bf my 3.5yo child and have no intention of stopping. ?

FF mothers who target BF mothers with nasty comments like those displayed on this thread are only doing it for two reasons: they either feel guilty or they feel sad and therefore resentful and bitter.

and there is your bitchy comment.

It's perfectly possible to have an opinion, I have discussed with MALE paediatricians to have their opinion too, and a professional one..., without guilt or bitterness.

@eightyfourandahalf

In countries where children don’t start formal schooling until 6 or 7 would you think it ok for a mother to breastfeed their 4-year-old infant? Is it just because our society forces them into schooling from age 4 that you no longer consider a 4-year-old worthy of its mother’s comfort and milk?

Nothing to do with school. Have you SEEN a 4 year old? No one disagrees that early years is fine, but KS1 should be delayed. It doesn't mean they are babies anymore, act like babies, or have the same need as babies. They are not even toddlers, they are on entire stage of their life entirely.

Let them be, they should be allowed to grow up.

I’d also like to learn from this viewpoint as well, @eightyfourandahalf do you have any links that support your statements about extended breastfeeding? About it affecting children in a negative way or about how it’s not biologically sound?

Just because I bf my 3.5yo child and have no intention of stopping?

but why is it about YOU...

nevergoesaway

why don't you give us a link on how overbearing mothers trying to babyish their children as long as they can get away with it is actually beneficial?

likely they will end force some independence eventually, but should they have to?

Why is it all about the mother, never about the child?

@eightyfourandahalf

Just because I bf my 3.5yo child and have no intention of stopping?

but why is it about YOU...

@eightyfourandahalf you are missing the crucial concept that children choose to breastfeed. If a mother and child don't want to stop - what's to to you?

@eightyfourandahalf

nevergoesaway

why don't you give us a link on how overbearing mothers trying to babyish their children as long as they can get away with it is actually beneficial?

likely they will end force some independence eventually, but should they have to?

Why is it all about the mother, never about the child?

Oh I’m sorry I don’t have any! Not sure if you read my previous post, but my opinions on this have been influenced by the links and posts from others who explained about how it’s actually biologically normal to feed for longer than we might expect.

I only have anecdotal evidence in the form of my friend who BF her kids for a long time and they are extremely independent, confident and self assured.

So no, can’t help with what you asked.

@eightyfourandahalf

nevergoesaway

why don't you give us a link on how overbearing mothers trying to babyish their children as long as they can get away with it is actually beneficial?

likely they will end force some independence eventually, but should they have to?

Why is it all about the mother, never about the child?

There's lots of evidence about attachment parenting. Look it up.

As precious posters have said extended breastfeeding has had no impact on their independence, development or sociability.

@eightyfourandahalf Nope, not bitchy. I am not discussing all FF mothers, just those who think it appropriate to make nasty comments to BF mothers. There are only two reasons why they (you) would do that.

Anyone can have an opinion without guilt or bitterness, but that is not what we’re talking about here. We’re specifically talking about those FF mothers who use nasty comments and insults towards BF mothers.

@Handsoffstrikesagain As above, I’m talking specifically about FF mothers who make nasty comments and insults towards BF mothers calling them weird, freaks, paedophiles etc. Not FF mothers as a whole.

@eightyfourandahalf

Just because I bf my 3.5yo child and have no intention of stopping?

but why is it about YOU...

I’m in a coffee my son just came and said boobie. I want boobie.
Yea it’s all about me

@OaxacaChihuahua

People are really outing themselves as perverts by claiming breastfeeding is sexual.

Completely agree

Would find it very strange but am socially developed enough to keep those opinions to myself, as it's only going to end up with anger and hurt feelings.

Overbearing mothers insisting..... No no no. You haven't a clue, what does this even loo like? In my house it was a little toddler and then preschooler clinging into bed in the morning for a few minute feed to start his day. A cuddle for all the world, with added benefits for his system. A child more confident and independent you couldn't find. Why wouldn't he be with that secure base from which to fly?

I’m in a coffee my son just came and said boobie. I want boobie.

too goady to even warrant a reply...

@eightyfourandahalf

I’m in a coffee my son just came and said boobie. I want boobie.

too goady to even warrant a reply...

Yet you did.