Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

@burritofan

Actually an isolated child relies on the parent to do what’s best for them, the child doesn’t have that ability. So yes, you can prolong breast feeding because your child thinks it’s what they should do, it’s learned behaviour Some incredible straw man arguments in this thread. “But what if a child were raised alone in a forest knowing only its mother, who could feed it wild fruit shoots but chose to teach it extended breastfeeding, and THEN they were rescued but unable to rejoin society age 30 because they had no alternative comfort and mummy appeared at board meetings to whip a breast out.”

It’s always flop, whip, yank a breast with the anti-BF brigade isn’t it? You’d think after 5-12 years of solid 24/7 breastfeeding our reluctant yet also codependent children we’d have mastered a discreet technique, but alas.

🤣🤣🤣

Not your tits, not your business.

It's perfectly fine and completely normal for a four or five year old to breastfeed.

Stop projecting your own weird thoughts around it onto other people

@thefamous5

Not your tits, not your business.

It's perfectly fine and completely normal for a four or five year old to breastfeed.

Stop projecting your own weird thoughts around it onto other people

It’s really not normal for 4/5 yr olds to breastfed.

Just the odd ball families out there that do it.

@NoCauseRebel

I probably wouldn’t have said anything, but tbh I would probably have already distanced myself from someone who breastfeeds a child of that age.

This has nothing to do with the child’s need for breast milk or even comfort, it is all about the mother’s need, and it feels almost sexual to be bf a child of that age. Not to mention the fact that he will be teased and ridiculed.

For people who say that it’s the western world who are out of touch, no it isn’t. Parents in 3rd world countries bf later because often children are malnourished in those countries, so BF does still have health benefits for them. But in the UK it is about the parent and nothing more. In fact it is IMO detrimental to a child to breastfeed them when they’re about to start school.

We would say the same about a child in nappies with the exception of SN, this is no different.

Sexual?

Are you for real?

You are disgusting.

It’s really not normal for 4/5 yr olds to breastfed.

Go educate yourself on historical biological norms.

And stop calling people oddballs. It’s very unpleasant and childish.

Why do you feel the need to be so pejorative Venus? "Odd ball families"? Why? I've known several perfectly "normal" kind, loving, happy, intelligent families nurse their children to 4 years old.

Fine if it's not for you, unsure why you have to be that way about it.

I knew I shouldn't have started reading through this thread. My blood pressure is going through the roof! Women being referred to as weird or strange (and much worse) for breastfeeding their 4 year old. What is wrong with people? I couldn't care less how other women feed their babies. We are lucky to have choices in this country. And one of those choices is to continue to breastfeed until the child decides they are ready to stop. It's not weird. Or strange.

I breastfed DS1 until he was 3. That worked for us. I didn't try to keep it a secret, but I didn't advertise it either. It was my own business and nobody else's. I did mention it to my friend in a related conversation. She had always made supportive noises about extended breastfeeding, yet seemed to think it was appropriate to make jokes about my choice in front of other people.

I honestly don't understand why many people who bottle feed their babies feel so put upon when it seems to me that women who breastfeed are the ones being subjected to offensive remarks. That last post is a case in point. Oddball families. Lovely.

Really not normal, says who? Oddballs, freaks... I know what 'side' I'm glad to be on! I see the pathological dependencies haven't been listed in the end Hard to understand why people who have no interest in doing this have any opinion or supposed knowledge about those that have! Why would you even bother?

Go educate yourself on historical biological norms

Whatever historical or biological norms are, breast feeding a five year old isn’t the norm in 21st century western society.

@Blossomtoes

Go educate yourself on historical biological norms

Whatever historical or biological norms are, breast feeding a five year old isn’t the norm in 21st century western society.

Perhaps it should be.

breast feeding a five year old isn’t the norm in 21st century western society.

I expect it’s much more prevalent than you think. Regardless, why discount hundreds of thousands of years of human experience?

YABU and sound petty refusing to acknowledge the difference between something that's uncommon and strange, in the context you meant.

And it's obviously not just for the mum's benefit, have you ever tried to BF a child who didn't want to BF?!

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree

@HeyGirlHeyBoy

Really not normal, says who? Oddballs, freaks... I know what 'side' I'm glad to be on! I see the pathological dependencies haven't been listed in the end Hard to understand why people who have no interest in doing this have any opinion or supposed knowledge about those that have! Why would you even bother?

Yes, this!!!! Why are people getting so bothered about a Mums choice for her child. We are all entitled to our opinions, but judgey and unwelcome comments should be kept yourself! Didn't we all learn this in primary school!

As I said earlier, I'm still breast feeding with no real desire to stop at the age of 14 months. Do I see myself breast feeding until 5? Probably not. Do I look down on someone who does? Absolutely not.

You sound like an expert! Who are you to make your ignorant evidence less judgments?

Do you have any evidence that having a school age child breastfeeding 4 times a day is in any way beneficial? No, because it has no benefit past weaning age.

As for who am I? I'm a person that is entitled to state an opinion and that opinion is that having a school age child who is old enough to be taught about private areas, bodily automony etc, suckling on your breast 4 times a day is starting to become inappropriate.

You can have whatever opinion you like but you shouldn't have said it out loud

Do you have any evidence that having a school age child breastfeeding 4 times a day is in any way beneficial?

Even if that were true, why does it need to be? If it’s something they’re both happy with, why wouldn’t that be enough?

Sometimes best to keep your opinions to yourself

Most would fine it off but not on mn

*odd not off

Wow you never comment on another person's parenting unless it is a dangerous situation.
Imo the DC doesn't need breast milk at that age it may hinder their developmental independence skills.
Plus pure cringe when they're grown up and realise they were breast feeding at 3/4/5.

suckling on your breast 4 times a day is starting to become inappropriate.
Fucking hell. You’re disgusting. Just stating my opinion!

@thekeatingfive My school age kid would still have been happy with a dummy if I had let them but at some point you have to help your child to have independence. I’m all for breastfeeding but when is the cut off? Children should be eating a normal, varied diet by then. Breast milk isn’t necessary not for nutrition or comfort by then.

Plus pure cringe when they're grown up and realise they were breast feeding at 3/4/5.
Wait til they realise they were shoved out of a fanny, totes embarrassing.

“ Do you have any evidence that having a school age child breastfeeding 4 times a day is in any way beneficial? No, because it has no benefit past weaning age.”

Do you’ve any evidence that it’s not beneficial ?

If you disapprove of a mother breastfeeding a willing 4 year old, what exactly do you think is wrong with it? There will be posters here who have breastfed 4 year old whose children are now grown up, who can clear up whether or not they needed to commute to their child's university for a bedtime feed, and other posters who were breastfed as 4 year olds who can clear up whether their mum was wierd and abusive. What do you actually think the problem is?

And personal feelings are fine, but not if you impose them on other people. I'm not a vegan, but if I think about it seems really wrong and bizarre to be fine with feeding a child cow's milk but not human milk, so I would say that the age you should stop giving your child breast milk is the age where you'd be happy for them to give up dairy or dairy substitutes alltogether.

Do you have any evidence that having a school age child breastfeeding 4 times a day is in any way beneficial? No, because it has no benefit past weaning age.

So breast milk has no benefit past weaning age? What do you class as “being past weaning age?”

What age is it exactly when breast milk suddenly loses all its nutritional and health qualities?