Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

To the pp who (amazingly confidently) has stated there are no benefits, you're showing your ignorance there! There are massive nutritional and immunity benefits. A large percentage of toddlers and preschoolers are low in iron and vitamins, just Google and you'll see what bm gives on top of food. It is a fantastic supplement to their usual diet. As well as the soothing and bonding benefits. Anything that is child led teamed with boundaries, is usually a big win for a child! And, NB, is hurting absolutely no one.

Absolutely none of your business.
I am doubting anyone on the internet who claims to actually have the audacity to question this .
It’s not standard, but it’s not unheard of.

so I would say that the age you should stop giving your child breast milk is the age where you'd be happy for them to give up dairy or dairy substitutes alltogether.

No that doesn’t work; even most pensioners haven’t given up dairy or dairy substitutes!

“ Breastfeeding mothers who have received the COVID-19 vaccine have antibodies in their milk, which could even help to protect their babies from infection with the virus.”

For those saying bf doesn’t benefit the kids past weaning age … and this is from WHO.

www.euro.who.int/en/media-centre/sections/press-releases/2021/who-recommends-continuing-breastfeeding-during-covid-19-infection-and-after-vaccination

Keep bulling us saying bullshit about us … your bulling is music to all of us that have chosen bf

but at some point you have to help your child to have independence.

Where’s your evidence it hinders independence?

when is the cut off?

Natural term weaning spans to about 6/7 at the top end. Once adult teeth appear it doesn’t work.

YABU. Tbh, I find breastfeeding at that age a little peculiar but each to their own! It's nothing to do with you and she didn't ask for your opinion. You voiced not just your own opinion, but told her what your family think as well. It wasn't your right to do so. You may think it's strange but you need to keep things like that to yourself.

But whether you think natural term breastfeeding is unspeakably brilliant and underrated or some kind of disgusting gothic horror that should be declared illegal forthwith, just keep it to yourself, OP. You and your family will not actually burst from not expressing an opinion.

These awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers is why campaigns are needed!!

I cannot believe some of the insults on here to breastfeeding mothers. Yet apparently it's us breastfeeding mums that are throwing the shade just by feeding our babies

90% of breastfeeding mothers stop before they want to, with the majority citing their reason for ending early as "lack of support" - doesn't bloody surprise me reading these comments!

Those who wish they could have breastfeed but struggled, this is why breastfeeding campaigns also exist - to help find solutions so other Women do not have the same struggles, surely that's something you'd want for other mothers?

These awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers is why campaigns are needed!!

oh please

You can't seriously compare a mother BF her newborn and baby, and a mother BF a pre-school/primary school child.

@eightyfourandahalf

These awful comments towards breastfeeding mothers is why campaigns are needed!!

oh please

You can't seriously compare a mother BF her newborn and baby, and a mother BF a pre-school/primary school child.

What’s the difference ? Does the second one deserve to be called paedophile or that is sexually abusing their child like some of the posters have called us?

Campaigns are there to protect everyone from these kind of comments

Yes YABU!!! I also find it weird and it’s not for me BUT I’m not selfish enough to think my opinion is relevant or worth sharing with another mum about her choice! How awful and judgey.

You can't seriously compare a mother BF her newborn and baby, and a mother BF a pre-school/primary school child.
But the thread has moved on from the OP about a BF four-year-old and turned into flinging insults at BF mothers, suggesting a hard cut-off at random times (age one, age “got some teeth” – so a fortnight old in DD’s case, age “can talk”), the usual flop/fling/yank/flail/spin out a boob misogynist language, “breastapo” accusations (offensive on multiple levels!), talk of paedophilia (!) – can you not see this level of bile against the biological norm and the nature-designed way of feeding kids is, frankly, fucking mental, and of course plays a part in the weird attitudes towards breastfeeding in this uptight Puritan country.

Having your needs met is more likely to lead to independence. So if you are breastfed until you choose to stop (ie you don't need it any more) and you co-sleep until you want to sleep in your own bed, you are more likely to be independent and secure in the long run.

Forcing a child into early and false 'independence' isn't helpful.

People are really outing themselves as perverts by claiming breastfeeding is sexual.

In that case, support is shutting up when someone is doing something they have chosen to do and it is no one else's business. I BF my first till 1 year, saw others feeding on and thought definitely not for me but was open minded and accepting of the reasons and the natural wean when milk teeth gone etc. Why are people so close minded that they can't listen and see others' reasons. So glad I continued for ds2.

@eightyfourandahalf I said guilty because they could have tried to breastfeed but didn’t, not because they stopped when they felt it necessary. Please make sure you read posts correctly before responding.

Any amount of breast milk has a positive effect. The longer you breastfeed, the longer the protection lasts and the greater the benefits.

Breastfeeding is beneficial for baby and mother. You can’t deny that. In mothers it lowers the risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, weak bones, cardiovascular disease and obesity.

Oh ffs, me having a can of soft drink every other day isn't nutritionally beneficial, it probably isn't even good for me, but I like it and it makes me happy in a small way (often while breastfeeding the baby!), so I'm not going to give it up. And breastfeeding an older child isn't even bad for them!
I was breastfed past age 1 and I couldn't leave home quick enough, my relationship with my parents is great in small doses, I certainly don't have any attachment issues or dependency on them.

I just can't get as worked up as some posters over someone else breastfeeding an older child (and I haven't done it myself, oldest isn't even 2).

I said guilty because they could have tried to breastfeed but didn’t, not because they stopped when they felt it necessary. Please make sure you read posts correctly before responding.

Your post was just a bitchy comment,

and the fake superiority of some women who insist on BF children who don't need to, and need to put down other women to make themselves feel better when deep down they know it's weird and not in the kids best interest.

Breastfeeding is beneficial for baby and mother.
yes... for and when they are BABIES. Again, no one disagrees.

@OaxacaChihuahua

People are really outing themselves as perverts by claiming breastfeeding is sexual.

I had an old friend once tell me she was glad she had boys as she could never breast feed a girl as it would be too weird... wtf??? This was before I had any kids. I was quite gobsmacked how such an intelligent and actually very liberal woman could think like this and not see that she, herself was sexualising breasts!

There are so many messed up views about breastfeeeding, many on this thread. Really no idea why one womans parenting choice has anything to do with anyone else!

insist on BF children who don't need to

Do you think you can ‘insist’ on breastfeeding a child who doesn’t want to breastfeed? What would you do, sellotape it’s head to you?

@sadperson16 yet you are happy to make comments that might be making a mother who feeds past infancy feel shit?

You can't seriously compare a mother BF her newborn and baby, and a mother BF a pre-school/primary school child.

In countries where children don’t start formal schooling until 6 or 7 would you think it ok for a mother to breastfeed their 4-year-old infant? Is it just because our society forces them into schooling from age 4 that you no longer consider a 4-year-old worthy of its mother’s comfort and milk?