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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

999 replies

crazymicrowave123 · 06/08/2021 13:01

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

OP posts:
EasterIssland · 07/08/2021 13:18

@eightyfourandahalf

I’m in a coffee my son just came and said boobie. I want boobie.

too goady to even warrant a reply...

So If I bf cuz of me my fault If I bf because my son wants then I’m goady

Mums can’t never do anything right.

bruffin · 07/08/2021 13:24

@666TheNumberOfTheBeast

The average age of weaning worldwide is over 4 by the way. That’s average. So anyone saying it’s weird and uncommon - it really, really isn’t.
Thats not true, its s myth put about a blogger who doesnt understand maths and averages. They read that the upper range for breast feeding was 1 to 7 and then split it down the middle, complete nonsense.
wincarwoo · 07/08/2021 13:24

Poor old @eightyfourandahalf. So easily shocked and disapproving.

But not to worry. They have spoken to male paediatricians on the matter.

wincarwoo · 07/08/2021 13:26

@bruffin who cares if it's complete nonsense. Why should anyone feel they have to justify this.

StormyTeacups · 07/08/2021 13:31

Bobby-eye, my nigh on 4 yr old calls it. God knows why.

VestaTilley · 07/08/2021 13:33

I wouldn’t have said anything to her, but YANBU. It is weird (and I say this as a mother who breastfed).

He’s nearly 5, not a baby. It’s not necessary for him; this is all for her benefit and wanting to feel needed. It’ll be bad for his teeth, and when it gets out at school (which it will) he’ll be laughed at.

Ludicrous self indulgence. There are plenty of ways to comfort a five year old that don’t involve putting a boob in their mouth.

Neverrains · 07/08/2021 13:35

It’ll be bad for his teeth

Why?! It’s milk.

eightyfourandahalf · 07/08/2021 13:35

@wincarwoo

Poor old *@eightyfourandahalf*. So easily shocked and disapproving.

But not to worry. They have spoken to male paediatricians on the matter.

you must be confusing me with another poster, who is shocked?

And take the reference to a male in the right context too will you? Or are you accusing a male doctor of jealousy too?

Scrapping the bottom of the barrel to justify yourself are you? Unlike you, I am very comfortable with my choices for my own children and their wellbeing..

badacorn · 07/08/2021 13:38

Talk about putting your foot in it op.

burritofan · 07/08/2021 13:38

It’ll be bad for his teeth
Since we’re just making shit up now, actually breastfeeding till over 18 turns children into wizards.

Anyway, I can think of few things less self-indulgent – eating a bag of wasps, sniffing a shite, reading bigoted anti-BF views on MN – than breastfeeding a child who can also cartwheel at the same time.

wincarwoo · 07/08/2021 13:39

@eightyfourandahalf you said you were goaded by another poster who was disproving one of your ignorant points about how "extended" breastfeeding is for the mothers benefit.

An argument you seem incapable of dropping despite lack of evidence.

Why you would be goaded by a child saying "boobie?" Perhaps you'd like to explain.

OaxacaChihuahua · 07/08/2021 13:40

Do the posters saying ‘it’s all for the mum’s benefit’ / ‘let them grow up’ etc imagine breastfeeding mums are forcing their kids’ heads onto their boobs and holding them there…?

You can’t force a child to breastfeed if they don’t want to.

What you actually mean is ‘you should push your child to give up something that comforts and soothes them before they’re ready to do so themselves because it’s more important to adhere to what society thinks is an acceptable use of your breasts than it is to follow your child’s cues and meet their need for security and attachment’.

eightyfourandahalf · 07/08/2021 13:42

wincarwoo

must you use hyperboles for everything?
"shocked", "goaded"..

Are you trying to bring everyone else in a fight, or just yourself?

nevergoesaway · 07/08/2021 13:43

@eightyfourandahalf I asked upthread whether you have any evidence to support your views on BF as I’m interested to learn and look at all sides of this conversation. Do you happen to have any?

Handsoffstrikesagain · 07/08/2021 13:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

VestaTilley · 07/08/2021 13:44

The teeth thing is quite well known- breast milk is quite high in natural sugars, and it’s something dentists say (it’s often used as a stick to beat dentists with on MN actually...)

My Mum’s cousin BF her son til he was nearly 4, and his teeth were becoming damaged.

My issue with it is not to withdraw it from a child who wants it, but that they’re likely to be picked on at school. How is a child who still gets breastfed at lunch time going to be school ready if they can’t go all day without a feed? Infantilising five year olds is not in their interest.

wincarwoo · 07/08/2021 13:45

@eightyfourandahalf

wincarwoo

must you use hyperboles for everything?
"shocked", "goaded"..

Are you trying to bring everyone else in a fight, or just yourself?

You're doing a great job on your own.

Any evidence forthcoming?

burritofan · 07/08/2021 13:47

@VestaTilley Nope:

OaxacaChihuahua · 07/08/2021 13:48

@Handsoffstrikesagain

oax playing devils advocate here (and I neither care one way or the other), the argument about pushing them to give up comforts before they’re ready could also apply to dummies and bottles and yet we do that (I know teeth is a reason).
But bottles and dummies are harmful beyond infancy. Drinking from a bottle causes liquid to pool behind the teeth, which causes decay. Dummies interfere with the alignment of teeth, and can delay speech development.

That isn’t true for breastfeeding. It has no harmful effects, only positive ones. It’s a biologically appropriate and developmentally normal way to comfort a child.

TheKeatingFive · 07/08/2021 13:48

How is a child who still gets breastfed at lunch time going to be school ready if they can’t go all day without a feed?

They’re only in school 3/4 hours at the start, hardly onerous to work around that. I’m sure they’ll manage it.

Infantilising five year olds is not in their interest

You only think it’s ‘infantilising’ because you can’t think outside of your own narrow cultural norms.

Handsoffstrikesagain · 07/08/2021 13:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

eightyfourandahalf · 07/08/2021 13:49

as if anyone is going to read a MN thread and put their hands up, oh you are right, it IS weird and not "natural", I see your point now instead of blaming "society" 😂

wincarwoo · 07/08/2021 13:49

@VestaTilley

The teeth thing is quite well known- breast milk is quite high in natural sugars, and it’s something dentists say (it’s often used as a stick to beat dentists with on MN actually...)

My Mum’s cousin BF her son til he was nearly 4, and his teeth were becoming damaged.

My issue with it is not to withdraw it from a child who wants it, but that they’re likely to be picked on at school. How is a child who still gets breastfed at lunch time going to be school ready if they can’t go all day without a feed? Infantilising five year olds is not in their interest.

They adapt. It's simple. The mother will explain the school situation.

These spurious objections are ridiculous

EasterIssland · 07/08/2021 13:49

@VestaTilley

The teeth thing is quite well known- breast milk is quite high in natural sugars, and it’s something dentists say (it’s often used as a stick to beat dentists with on MN actually...)

My Mum’s cousin BF her son til he was nearly 4, and his teeth were becoming damaged.

My issue with it is not to withdraw it from a child who wants it, but that they’re likely to be picked on at school. How is a child who still gets breastfed at lunch time going to be school ready if they can’t go all day without a feed? Infantilising five year olds is not in their interest.

Maybe you want to check your sources. It’s a myth that it produces decays. In fact it’s been proof that it’s the food the kids eat the ones that cause the decay.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/breastfeeding-and-dental-health/breastfeeding-and-dental-health

Handsoffstrikesagain · 07/08/2021 13:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

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