Page 13 | To have had my first quick comeback but now I feel SO guilty!!

firstquickcomeback · 2021-08-06T08:38:22+00:00

I'll keep this brief, We're staying in a hotel, sitting at breakfast and my 5yr old is being a handful (nothing crazy!) just he is very excitable and can be loud at times. Anyway we're all sorted and he's eating nicely and a lady passes our table (early 60's in age I'm guessing) she started talking and then I realized she was talking to me. So I said "pardon" to which she blurted out "he's quite a handful isn't he, I should think you'll be stopping and doing yourself a favour and not having any more!" [shock] Then...without further thought I turned and said "and isn't it a shame your mother didn't stop before having you, she could have done us all a favour before bringing another judgmental person into the world" Well my husbands jaw dropped! She said "excuse me?" I told her to go away. The woman on the table across from me said it was the most entertaining thing she had heard all summer and told me she was out of line. BUT now I feel immensely guilty [sad] Should I find her and apologise? WIBU?

Liverbird77 · 07/08/2021 20:41

She insulted your child.
He's 5. It sounds like he was just being a normal five year old.
Your response was brilliant. The woman was beyond rude and she deserved it

Imapotato · 07/08/2021 20:52

😂😂 this has made my evening!! 😂😂👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

nancydrewsupersleuth · 07/08/2021 20:54

You only spoke to her in response to her insulting you. If she hadn't said anything you wouldn't have needed to give any response rude or not. Hopefully in the future she will think twice, she could have very easily have said that to someone struggling with fertility. I would have been ruder!

ohthatbloodycat · 07/08/2021 20:56

Her comment was actually really hurtful and personal. Yours was in direct response to hers and as such, I don't think you did anything wrong!
If she'd commented on him being a handful and left it at that, the outcome would have been different. But to suggest that you shouldn't have any more kids is completely uncalled for!

JML001 · 07/08/2021 21:06

I wish I was you OP......more of you needed in the world 💪

Purplealienpuke · 07/08/2021 21:13

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Don't apologise.
She absolutely had no right to pass comment on a brief (according to you) excitable moment in your child's morning.
Had he been throwing food at her and mooning at her then maybe the first part of the comment about being a handful MAY have been understandable...
But to suggest you don't have anymore children based on a snapshot of your life is beyond rude.
How did she know if were able to have anymore kids? If your son was adopted? If you'd maybe had a miscarriage? If your child had additional needs?
Just no!
You were within your rights, imo, to shoot her down.
But you were definitely much kinder than I would have been

Bleachmycloths · 07/08/2021 23:08

What she said was absolutely disgusting. Why should she get away with such awful, unsolicited behaviour?

Shimmyingmetacos · 07/08/2021 23:46

Gutsy but it’s unfortunate you stooped to her level. I agree she was out of order but you would have felt so much better had you not insulted her in return. Not easy in the moment.

Mamanyt · 08/08/2021 00:25

Had the old bat simply said, "He's a handful isn't he?" you would probably have replied with something like, "Yes, he is," or "You have no idea!" and let it go. However, she escalated to the level of personal attack, and you returned fire. Entirely her issue, and was in her control. You're allowed.

RachaelN · 08/08/2021 06:32

Good for you. My two are such giddy kippers and tbh wind up merchants. We are always struggling to get them to calm down in public. Thry are just being children, but have brilliant manners and are respectful to others. I have had people comment before and I just tell them to bugger off 😂 it never gets out of hand. Some people just don't like kids, but they need to get used to it because they are part of our society!

Spanielstail · 08/08/2021 08:00

Reading between the lines, your child was being a noisy brat, somebody said something to you and got an earful from you in response. I somehow think I would prefer her as a fellow hotel guest.

100% yes. I think if other people are approaching you about the behaviour of your child them it most be bad. Being cheeky (childishly) to another person in front of your child isn't going to teach him to behave better.

I would have apologised for ruining her meal with my child's behaviour.

Cindefuckingrella · 08/08/2021 08:49

Why do people feel they have a right to speak to people, in fact, women, like this? What she said was awful, but was anything said to the husband? No, of course not. In fact, if OP wasn’t there it probably would have been ‘oh poor man doing his best babysitting his wife’s unruly child’. Makes me SOOOO mad. Well done OP!

Mollymoostoo · 08/08/2021 09:32

@Aprilx

Reading between the lines, your child was being a noisy brat, somebody said something to you and got an earful from you in response. I somehow think I would prefer her as a fellow hotel guest.

The child is 5. At that age children don't understand what it is to be a brat. When children are tired, bored, hungry etc they try to get their needs met and not always on the way a well behaved and able to self-regulate adult would.

This reply reminds me of people who say you can 'spoil' a child, 'children need discipline' etc, basically children should not exists unless they are quiet, well behaved and have amazing manners. Even adults don't behave like this so why do people think little children should?

Bookloverjay · 08/08/2021 14:37

You must be an absolute hoot at parties.

You are very judgemental for a foster parent.

We are not living in the dark ages where children are seen and not heard.

Some, actually most children can't control or contain their excitement.

I was once feeding my youngest son who was about 3 months old at the time and I was using a bottle with a soft spout, and this woman told me I should be ashamed of myself for forcing my baby to grow up too fast. And I should have him taken away.
What she didn't know was my son had struggled to feed since birth and I actually felt like a failure.

Bookloverjay · 08/08/2021 14:39

My comment was aimed at @54321nought

DoYouLikeOwls · 08/08/2021 14:41

@Aprilx

Reading between the lines, your child was being a noisy brat, somebody said something to you and got an earful from you in response. I somehow think I would prefer her as a fellow hotel guest.

No.

The woman was rude. Most young children play up at some point. You are rude too for calling the child a brat.

nutellachops · 08/08/2021 16:38

brilliant delivery OP [SMILE]

AveryGoodlay · 08/08/2021 20:30

I don't believe you responded this way and I think you thought of this response a while after and posted it here to get a pat on the back. Even so, I don't think saying she shouldn't exist was the right way to go about this. It would have been better to challenge her on why she was being unkind in front of a child who had done nothing wrong and was eating their meal nicely.

If my partner and I were out with our children and someone came up to me and said what this lady did, I wouldn't be able to provide a retort fast enough as my partner would have already been asking me if he could respond or if I'd rather do so. He wouldn't have been rude in his response but he would have asked her why she thought it was her business and why she was addressing her comments towards me and not him. Like me, he can't stand mysoginistic behaviour and attitudes.

RLOU30 · 08/08/2021 20:35

@AveryGoodlay

100% a few of us have said this. the constant cheerleading for OP is quite odd.
It’s not even that great a comeback even if it were real so I don’t get it

AveryGoodlay · 08/08/2021 23:55

Oh ok sorry!

5zeds · 09/08/2021 10:31

If my partner and I were out with our children and someone came up to me and said what this lady did, I wouldn't be able to provide a retort fast enough as my partner would have already been asking me if he could respond or if I'd rather do so. He wouldn't have been rude in his response but he would have asked her why she thought it was her business and why she was addressing her comments towards me and not him. Like me, he can't stand mysoginistic behaviour and attitudes. really??? Your super fast super feminist husband would have been asking you if he could answer.....yeah right. I think you have created a similarly transparently idyll of a scenario to OP.

AveryGoodlay · 09/08/2021 11:28

@5zeds I'm not married. I chose my partner based on shared ideals after being friends a long time after being with a mysoginist who beat and raped me.

5zeds · 09/08/2021 12:08

Do you always think slower than this new partner and if so why don’t they allow you time? I don’t think it’s at all empowering to have a partner who behaves as you describe, (leaping in to ask if they can be the one to respond for you). Then again perhaps the OPs partner has similar delays before he speaks, lucky you with your quick witted champion. I’m glad you escaped your ex and I’m sorry but I really don’t know what I’m supposed to infer from your history/marital status. OP can’t prove what she said so I doubt it makes much difference if you believe her or not, or indeed if you are believed.

roxyro · 10/08/2021 13:00

The ones on here posting what a disgusting and outrageous comment by the woman about your little darling are obviously the types that allow their kids to run round screaming and generally ruining everyone else’s time.

Children have to play and be boisterous but they also have to be taught how to behave in certain situations and that’s your job. Maybe the woman would have been better off keeping her thoughts to herself but you and your husband should have been keeping your son under control!

DarlingFell · 11/08/2021 19:29

@roxyro

The ones on here posting what a disgusting and outrageous comment by the woman about your little darling are obviously the types that allow their kids to run round screaming and generally ruining everyone else’s time.

Children have to play and be boisterous but they also have to be taught how to behave in certain situations and that’s your job. Maybe the woman would have been better off keeping her thoughts to herself but you and your husband should have been keeping your son under control!

Absolutely this !