To have had my first quick comeback but now I feel SO guilty!!

[firstquickcomeback]

I'll keep this brief,

We're staying in a hotel, sitting at breakfast and my 5yr old is being a handful (nothing crazy!) just he is very excitable and can be loud at times. Anyway we're all sorted and he's eating nicely and a lady passes our table (early 60's in age I'm guessing) she started talking and then I realized she was talking to me. So I said "pardon" to which she blurted out "he's quite a handful isn't he, I should think you'll be stopping and doing yourself a favour and not having any more!"
Then...without further thought I turned and said "and isn't it a shame your mother didn't stop before having you, she could have done us all a favour before bringing another judgmental person into the world"

Well my husbands jaw dropped! She said "excuse me?" I told her to go away.

The woman on the table across from me said it was the most entertaining thing she had heard all summer and told me she was out of line. BUT now I feel immensely guilty

Should I find her and apologise? WIBU?

Don't you dare feel guilty, it'll teach her a lesson in manners

HAHAHAHAHA
Iv actually found this the bestest quick thinking come back ever !!
Brilliant go you !

@eightyfourandahalf

People like that rely on other people being too embarrassed or too nice to give them a taste of their own medicine

that could apply with the OP inflicting an unruly child as much as the woman commenting

But she didn't inflict an unruly child.

Her child simply changed seats 3 times and spilt some juice.

Hardly a reason to come across a restaurant and tell the woman (not her husband who's 50% responsible) that perhaps they shouldn't have any more.

That was damn rude. Nasty and judgemental.

The OP had already realised her child was a little too excitable and calmed him down and he was sat nicely and eating quietly.

Surely that's a good parent? Realising your child's behaviour may impact others and stopping it.

Good parents aren't the ones who just happen to be blessed with a child who has a personality where they don't get over excited.

Fwiw my ds would walk with me, wait for permission to sit wherever he's told to and sat quietly until he was told he could move. But he's autistic and has anxiety with that and I actually wish at times he'd feel relaxed enough to make the odd mistake rather than constantly too scared to move without express permission.

The other woman was incredibly rude. No need to feel guilty, she was massively out of line.

I’m not sure 🤔. I read that as your child is a handful so your life would be easier if you didn’t have any more. Which is actually factually correct looking after two children is harder than looking after one.
So a sort of clumsy way of saying think about yourself?

I’m not sure 🤔. I read that as your child is a handful so your life would be easier if you didn’t have any more. Which is actually factually correct looking after two children is harder than looking after one.
So a sort of clumsy way of saying think about yourself?

FFS - a young child swapped chairs three times and spilt a drink, hardly a handful. Even if she (or you) did think that for some bizarre reason then the thought should be kept firmly in her (your) head.

hardly a handful

Those are the OP's own words re her child.

Hardly a handful that warrants a complete strangers telling you it would be a good idea if you stopped at one.

@milkyaqua

hardly a handful

Those are the OP's own words re her child.

But clearly not the opinion of another guest.

The OP has described her own child as "a handful".

Someone posts, describing the child as "a handful."

The next person says: FFS - a young child swapped chairs three times and spilt a drink, hardly a handful.

I post, quoting them, and mentioning the OP's use of the term... and around we go.

Tl;dr: The child is a handful!

Saying he was a handful, potentially a bit rude. Her other comments were WAY out of line and personal.

It serves her right. Now stop feeling guilty OP!

Tl;dr: The child is a handful!

What the OP said was “We're staying in a hotel, sitting at breakfast and my 5yr old is being a handful (nothing crazy!) just he is very excitable and can be loud at times. Anyway we're all sorted and he's eating nicely”

There is nothing in that to warrant such rudeness from that other guest. Good for the OP for her comeback - the other guest might think twice about being rude next time.

👏👏👏
Well done OP!

You’re amazing OP. I’m so glad you created an account on a Mumsnet to tell us this story. I hope the whole restaurant stood up and applauded you as you walked out.

@AnnunciataZ

You’re amazing OP. I’m so glad you created an account on a Mumsnet to tell us this story. I hope the whole restaurant stood up and applauded you as you walked out.

Haha

@AnnunciataZ

You’re amazing OP. I’m so glad you created an account on a Mumsnet to tell us this story. I hope the whole restaurant stood up and applauded you as you walked out.

Has there been some pissing on the chips today you funster?

Oooh, you’re good AnnunciataZ, what with those advanced searching techniques of yours and all.

And your point would be?

@MaMelon

Oooh, you’re good AnnunciataZ, what with those advanced searching techniques of yours and all.

And your point would be?

She appears to me to be casting doubt on the veracity of the story. I can see her point.

@AnnunciataZ i have name changed. Thought I said that sorry.

She appears to me to be casting doubt on the veracity of the story. I can see her point

In which case - report.

I'm glad you called her out on her rudeness. Deliberately seeking to humiliate someone is shitty behaviour on her part. Interesting how the comment wasn't directed at your DH.

It wasn't even a witty, pithy remark, but a wordy, aggressive putdown which you clearly feel bad about or you wouldn't be seeking all this validation, and some people virtually writing essays about it.

Would it be different if she’d been 59 instead of 62?

Pardon is a very rude response. The word is what.

Not exactly a quick, witty retort as promised. Did everyone stand and clap?

In truth, a five year old ‘handful’ needs someone to point out they are not good company in a restaurant if parents fail to ensure their children behave appropriately. If it happened, then good on her.

No, they really don’t.

I always find that keeping any nasty thoughts I might have about 5 year olds and any suggestions for their parents’ family planning in my head makes me feel a lot better about myself and the world around me a better place - but then I posses the ability to understand that just because I think something doesn’t mean I have to say it.

Do not apologise - she was really rude! Your comeback was perfectly judged.