To ask friend to use garden whilst away

[User5827372728]

Good friend has a great garden, lots of kids toys, going away for 2 week. Would it be super cheeky to ask to leave side gate accessible and us use it for those 2 weeks they are away?

We lack outdoor space and it would be great!!

Gate accessible means unlocked so would be a risk to your friend (home security).

If anything should happen to your children while on their property, technically they’d still be liable. Same thing if someone decides to go into their open/unlocked garden and have their children play. You’ll just be opening your friend up for liability. Would be different if they asked you to house sit and you were there, not leaving gate “accessible”

Would leaving the side gate open impact upon security of the house? Surely if you can access their toys then anyone else could?

Only you know how your friend would take being asked.

Lots of practical issues. Are you going to need in the house to use the toilet? Will it be secure? Are you good friends?

I think you would be putting your friend in an awkward position safety wise. Unless the gate has a key.
Can you not just use a park instead?

Why not go to a park/playground?

I’d happily offer mine to a friend. Be good to avoid burglaries too. I’m sure she’d give you a key for the gate…you could offer to water the plants. Win win.

Would be better if you asked for a key to the side gate - if she’s happy for your to use it.

We are good friends, genuinely don’t know if it’s cheeky to ask or not hence the thread as would hate to put her in an awks position. Side gate has a code lock to open so could use that.

We go to playgrounds, but an enclosed safe space would be great for a couple of weeks.

Toilet wise, oldest normally goes hours between wees and youngest in a nappy

I think you're putting your friend in an awkward position. She knows you don't have outdoor space, if she hasn't offered, don't ask.

If they can give you the gate key without compromising security, I don't think it's cheeky to ask. I wouldn't be offended if a good friend asked me this as long as they were really a good friend and not just trying to take advantage.

I would offer something in return - e.g. watering their plants, mowing the lawn, etc

Do you really want the responsibility? Even if your friend agrees, if anything happens at the house or in the garden she’ll naturally question if you were at fault.

ask her if she needs any plants watering or anything done while shes away, tell her youd be happy to keep an eye on the place in return for being able to hang out in the garden with the kids here and there. Tell her that its no problem if shes already sorted something.

At least it frames it with an easy way for her to say no

@Hopdathelf

Hadn’t thought of that. Thank you; good point

Ask! You'd be keeping an eye on the house. Perhaps water plants if needed? If they have any sense they'll leave you a key for the house so you can go to the loo!

We nearly did this for a friend when we were away. But they had to isolate!

I think you should offer to do something for her before asking and then mention that would she mind if you had access to the garden for the kids? you could offer to have dinner prepared for them for when they arrive home, like a lasagne or something. Bit cheeky of you JUST to ask and not offer something .

I wouldn’t like a friend to ask me, and I know that is probably selfish.

No absolutely not! Aside from all the issues that come from it how is she going to say no without you feeling miffed? The question alone would burn the friendship.

I wouldn't mind if a friend asked me, I'd be pretty chuffed that I could help someone in such a way.

@GrettaGreen

Why would it burn a friendship?

I wouldn't put your friend in that situation. If I was the friend I would be worried about you not closing gate properly. I would be worried about older child needing loo and peeing in my garden. It would be a hassle explaining to neighbours that someone will be accessing garden. Something like a bang of a ball off window could trigger alarm and then trying to get that turned off etc. If she hasn't offered, she hasn't offered. I would not ask

@chickadeee

I think you're putting your friend in an awkward position. She knows you don't have outdoor space, if she hasn't offered, don't ask.

yeah it's likely more secure it remains locked etc 🌸

I really wouldn't.
Different thing if you were to offer to mow the lawn or keep weeds down, tomato plants watered (and take your DC with you).
It's not a public play park, it's her garden.

I have a pretty nice garden. I’d honestly be really happy to do this for a good friend op…I think sometimes on mumsnet, “friendships” don’t reflect real life. I’d leave a key so you could use the toilet and make a brew! Would be nice for the house not to be empty for two weeks actually, definitely safer. I say go for it

I wouldn't mind at all letting a good friend/someone I trust. They could water the plants for me

I do think it’s a bit cheeky to ask TBH.

I would probably make a few not too obvious comments like you’re lucky to have such an amazing garden / Its really tough not having a garden for the kids & hope she offers but I think by directly asking you’re putting her in an awkward position