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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask friend to use garden whilst away

144 replies

User5827372728 · 05/08/2021 15:42

Good friend has a great garden, lots of kids toys, going away for 2 week. Would it be super cheeky to ask to leave side gate accessible and us use it for those 2 weeks they are away?

We lack outdoor space and it would be great!!

OP posts:
Branleuse · 05/08/2021 16:03

id be ok with a friend asking me this, but id also feel ok with saying no to someone too, so you need to work out if it would make things awkward

AryaStarkWolf · 05/08/2021 16:06

It's pretty cheeky and putting her in an awkward position

TeeBee · 05/08/2021 16:06

Hmmm, not sure I'd like someone accessing my garden while I was away unless it was family. I'd probably agree but feel a bit weirded out by it.

AlmostSummer21 · 05/08/2021 16:07

Honestly, the 'friends' people have on MN don't reflect my actual life at all.

If you were my friend, you'd be welcome to use the garden, loo, kitchen etc I'd just be annoyed with myself that I hadn't thought to offer before you asked

So depends if you have real friends or MN type friends really.

Summersun2020 · 05/08/2021 16:08

@AlmostSummer21 ditto! Glad I don’t have “mumsnet” type friends in real life!

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 05/08/2021 16:08

Depends on your friend
I'd be more than happy to let my friend use my garden but everyone's different.

Just10moreminutesplease · 05/08/2021 16:10

I have a nice garden and would happily do this for a good friend. Maybe ask if she needs anyone to water her plants or something in exchange Smile.

MuddyStiletto · 05/08/2021 16:10

I think it's one of those situations where you wait to see if they offer
I wouldn't ask

Needsomethingtoread · 05/08/2021 16:10

I would love it tbf as you could water my veg patch and do a little weeding.

FenceSplinters · 05/08/2021 16:11

That puts your friend in an awkward position, and she’ll feel mean if she says no…but I would say no, in a very awkward manner.

househousehousefox · 05/08/2021 16:12

@chickadeee

I think you're putting your friend in an awkward position. She knows you don't have outdoor space, if she hasn't offered, don't ask.
This x100
Bananapuppy · 05/08/2021 16:13

I would be happy for a good friend to use our garden too OP, and I absolutely wouldn’t mind anyone asking.
I’m not quite sure why everyone gets so upset about interacting with other people. If she isn’t comfortable with it she can say no, there’s no reason why a friendship should suffer for it.

user1471538283 · 05/08/2021 16:14

I would be more than happy for you to use the garden and the house in return for watering plants and feeding our cats.

When my friends go away I always pop over to check on things and vice versa.

superram · 05/08/2021 16:14

I offered my neighbour ours last year. They watered my plants, worked well.

crabbingbucket · 05/08/2021 16:15

If she wanted you to use the garden she'd have offered. I dont think you can ask as it's really hard to say no

TeapotCollection · 05/08/2021 16:16

Another one saying I’d happily swap for watering plants and feeding fish

maddy68 · 05/08/2021 16:17

I wouldn't. It's really cheeky. I would be pissed off if my friend asked but I would probably say yes don't be that friend ;)

worldandsky · 05/08/2021 16:17

Agree with others, you'll be putting friend in a awkward position, I wouldn't let others play in my garden without me present. I also have patio which gets very easily stained if juice or certain food isn't cleaned up straight away, I can't imagine a friend taking great care of my garden like I would. I also wouldn't want to return back and find garden toys broken

TeapotCollection · 05/08/2021 16:17

Pressed too soon

Also meant to say I’d ask in a text so that she’s not on the spot, and make it clear that’s fine if she doesn’t want to

crabbingbucket · 05/08/2021 16:18

@purplecorkheart

I wouldn't put your friend in that situation. If I was the friend I would be worried about you not closing gate properly. I would be worried about older child needing loo and peeing in my garden. It would be a hassle explaining to neighbours that someone will be accessing garden. Something like a bang of a ball off window could trigger alarm and then trying to get that turned off etc. If she hasn't offered, she hasn't offered. I would not ask
You'd worry about a kid peeing in your garden? Do you worry about fox, cat, bird, mouse wee? Sorry just made me laugh as all our kids loved an outdoors wee Grin
Eviethyme · 05/08/2021 16:18

I wouldn't. And I would hate a friend asking I would say yes but then feel really awkward about it.

Plus if anything breaks it'll be put on you even if it's not your fault. Accidents happen

AngryWhompingWillow · 05/08/2021 16:18

Sorry @User5827372728 I think it's super cheeky and would not even entertain it. As pps have said, you are going to put her in an awkward position.

As a few posters have said though, only YOU know if she will be OK with it. Random people on mumsnet are hardly going to know if your neighbour will mind.

Bluntness100 · 05/08/2021 16:18

It’s not just using the garden though you want to take the kids to play with her kids toys, which to be honest could make some people uncomfortable. Like you’re sitting there eyeing up her stuff and just waiting for the chance to have at it.

I’d say yes, but to be honest I’d feel slightly uncomfortable. And I’d wonder if you wanted to continue that after I come back. Or if you only wanted to come round so your kids could play with my kids toys.

UpstreamSwimmer · 05/08/2021 16:20

Just preempt your request by telling her she can say no and you would totally understand. After that, it's up to her.

Wjevtvha · 05/08/2021 16:23

I wouldn’t; I think she’d offer if she wanted you to. If you didn’t have a bath and a friend did would you ask them if you could use their bathroom while they’re away? I get irs not quite the same but still her property

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