To ask friend to use garden whilst away

[User5827372728]

Good friend has a great garden, lots of kids toys, going away for 2 week. Would it be super cheeky to ask to leave side gate accessible and us use it for those 2 weeks they are away?

We lack outdoor space and it would be great!!

I'd be more than happy to let you use my garden, but it probably wouldn't occur to me to offer, if I'm honest.

I think, security-wise, I'd prefer my house/garden to show signs of occupation rather than left empty for two weeks.

I would also be delighted if a good friend used my garden whilst away and kept an eye on my precious raised beds.

Same as PP i wouldn't think to offer but wouldn't be offended if asked by a good friend, who I knew didn't have outdoor space.

I was in a similar position to you last year (except I do have outdoor space) My neighbour asked if I could go round the back, water her plants, check the cat is using cat flap etc then said my DC could use her trampoline whenever they wanted whilst she was away.

Fine if a very good friend. I would hesitate to ask any of my friends this but I have a few who wouldn't mind.

My friends who live out in the sticks (were in a one bed flat in London with no outside space)

Always offer us to use their garden if they are away! Just to relax in the sun, use the pool ect.

The fact you’re open to asking them means you know your boundaries with them. So go for it x

I'd be happy to have a friend come and use my garden while I'm away, and the house too! Especially if they offered to water my plants. It's nice to have someone checking in on your house when it's empty. I always feel like it's a burden to ask someone to water plants or check in etc so if they asked me I'd be delighted. I would ask.

I think you could ask, as long as you phrase it in a 'Of course if there's any risk it could invalidate your insurance then I completely understand if you'd prefer us not to use it!' That offers the escape route directly, which is a tactful gesture.

It's not your house and not your place to ask. If she wants anyone to use her facilities while she away, she will offer herself.

Having lived in a flat with DC myself, I would be very happy for you to use my garden while we were away if I was your friend, have a few BBQs and picnics etc, and in return you’d mow the grass before we came back and water the plants.

I probably wouldn’t suggest it myself as I wouldn’t want to offend you by offering ‘charity’ but I’d be happy to agree if you asked.

Mumsnet is a strange place sometimes.

People often get told they're being precious if they won't let a relative stranger babysit, where they have access to both their house and their children.

But letting a close friend use the garden would be a hard no.

Agree with PPs commenting on weirdness of MN friends. If you se each other 3 times a week I have to assume you're pretty close in which case absolutely ask. I know that I would probably not offer this to someone simply because I'd feel self conscious like was playing lady of the manor as someone else mentioned, but would be fine with a friend asking. Also, the main stress for us going away is always that if the house looks empty/ unchanged we're higher targets for burglaries, so a friend popping in and out, maybe turning some lights on or opening/closing curtains would be brilliant. Ditto watering the garden or even mowing the lawn so that it's done before we got back.

And surely, in the unlikely event you damage equipment, you both know that you would, of course, immediately replace it with identical or equivalent equipment?

I have to say, this thread has given me an idea for next time we go away. We have some friends who I am sure would be happy to feed our cat and keep an eye on the house in exchange for the use of the garden If I can think of a way of doing it that doesn't sound obnoxious, I might ask her. Frankly, from my perspective, she'd actually be doing ME a favour!

@GingerBreadTeddy

I do think it’s a bit cheeky to ask TBH.

I would probably make a few not too obvious comments like you’re lucky to have such an amazing garden / Its really tough not having a garden for the kids & hope she offers but I think by directly asking you’re putting her in an awkward position

How strange. I think asking (and fine with a no answer) is far less rude than your proposal. I would not be offended if a friend asked, even if I said no. I'm sure a friend would understand. But hinting that you want to use their garden to wheedle an invitation...now that is rude!!!

Wouldn't bother me if a friend asked me. I'd of course say yes and give them a key so they could access the toilet and sink for drinks.

Just ask her..

I'd love to have this option with friends to use my garden when I'm away in the summer . I'd have to leave a list of tasks in return though, watering every couple of days if hot and feeding my pots every week

I wouldn't ask OP. It's CF territory and you will put her in an awkward position.

It will be weird when your friend gets back from her holiday and you (and your children) can no longer use the space or the toys. It will all end in tears.

If a good friend asked I'd be delighted that someone else was getting pleasure from the garden. Friends use our pool when we are away over summer with a firm disclaimer re responsibility 🤷🏻‍♀️

If they haven’t offered. Don’t ask.

Friends use our pool when we are away over summer with a firm disclaimer re responsibility 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does that work both ways? If they damage something?

I’ve decided not to ask