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Original poster

To ask friend to use garden whilst away

144 replies

User5827372728 · 05/08/2021 15:42

Good friend has a great garden, lots of kids toys, going away for 2 week. Would it be super cheeky to ask to leave side gate accessible and us use it for those 2 weeks they are away?

We lack outdoor space and it would be great!!

OP posts:
BrilliantBetty · 05/08/2021 16:26

You could offer to water her garden while away? And feed pet if they have one/any. That might be useful to her. And then just confirm it's ok for the kids to have a little play on the swings etc while there.

It would be unlikely she'll feel comfortable you using the garden completely as your own while she's away though.

AngryWhompingWillow · 05/08/2021 16:26

@UpstreamSwimmer

Just preempt your request by telling her she can say no and you would totally understand. After that, it's up to her.
'Pre-empting the request' isn't going to make it any easier for the neighbour to say no - if she wants to say no. It's just going to make the neighbour feel awkward. I would go as far as to say it could put a dampener on her holiday. I wouldn't ask personally..........
FlyingRabbitsAtNoon · 05/08/2021 16:26

Couldn’t you just offer to go round/ water plants/ check on house for her instead? Kids can play whilst you are maintaining the garden - so mutual benefit?

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 05/08/2021 16:27

It's a little odd, I'm not going to lie.

The kids toys aren't for everyone's kids to enjoy they're for their own kids. Plus if you cause any damage/any damage happens whilst your there (snap a swing/crack the slide) I imagine she won't be best pleased.

Would her leaving the side gate open not possibly invalidate her insurance? Our house insurance is dependant on us keeping the entire property (including garden) secure in our absence, God forbid they get robbed them leaving the side gate open might not be the quick fix you think it is.

For the hassle of it I would just take them to the park for a fortnight and see friend when they're home.

FudgeFlake · 05/08/2021 16:27

@Branleuse

ask her if she needs any plants watering or anything done while shes away, tell her youd be happy to keep an eye on the place in return for being able to hang out in the garden with the kids here and there. Tell her that its no problem if shes already sorted something.

At least it frames it with an easy way for her to say no

Perfect!
Justcallmebebes · 05/08/2021 16:28

I wouldn't mind at all. I'd be happy to and if it was dry and sunny I'd ask you to hose down my flowerbeds whilst you were there. Win win

Bimblybomeyelash · 05/08/2021 16:28

I’d happily say yes if I was your friend. But I’d be too chicken to ask if I was you! I know that makes no sense. I think I’d probably offer to water the plants or half jokingly suggest that ‘the kids can help look after the garden’. Basically make it easy for her to say no.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 05/08/2021 16:30

My friend asked me to feed her cat while she was away, she also offered use of her garden if we wanted it. So it’s definitely a normal thing for friends to do, but I guess you need a way of asking that gives her an easy out if you’d rather you didn’t.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 05/08/2021 16:30

I would feel uncomfortable if you asked me @User5827372728-

I am a worrier and knowing that instead of a safely locked garden I had you and your DC playing in there would prey on my mind on my holiday.

It would be awful if something broke/went wrong and I just wouldn't ever ask.

LBOCS2 · 05/08/2021 16:30

Yep, as a PP said - I'd be more than happy for a friend to do this and in return I would definitely ask them to water plants and feed the cats. It would be a perfect exchange in my eyes!

MuddyStiletto · 05/08/2021 16:30

@FlyingRabbitsAtNoon

Couldn’t you just offer to go round/ water plants/ check on house for her instead? Kids can play whilst you are maintaining the garden - so mutual benefit?
But it's not though, the friend still wouldn't have agreed for her children to use her garden, garden toys or whatever, she'd just agreed for them to water the plants etc It's not fair to be unclear about her intentions
Flomoon · 05/08/2021 16:33

If they're a good friend I'd just ask, if they say no fair enough but they might say yes. I wouldn't mind at all if it was a close friend, I'd probably just give them the key to the side gate, but if it was someone I didn't know too well then I'd say sorry nah.

MrsFlinch · 05/08/2021 16:33

Well if it were a very close friend then I’d not mind being asked, I’d be happy to let them use the garden but I’d probably also give them a key and ask them to house sit as well, killing two birds with one stone!

If it was someone that I wasn’t that close to then I’d I’d be a bit miffed that they asked and would probably say no.

You know your friend, so if you feel she wouldn’t take offence by asking then you can only try!

Slothkin · 05/08/2021 16:33

@AlmostSummer21 I’d feel the same! Although as a teen left home alone for a few nights for the first time I was quite startled to see strangers wandering about the garden - my Mum had got chatting to them about plants and invited them to visit anytime, but failed to mention this to me…luckily the cagoules didn’t suggest ‘violent home invasion’ but it was touch and go!

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 05/08/2021 16:34

I would ask her, she hasn't offered but then she possibly hasn't thought about it. If she knows you well and you are trustworthy I cannot see the issue.

I had a neighbour who we only ever waved at in terms of friendliness, he asked me to feed his cat whilst he was on holiday and gave me a key to his house. Clearly I look trustworthy Grin

Standrewsschool · 05/08/2021 16:34

I think it’s a cheeky ask. You don’t use her garden now ( eg when she’s out shopping, visiting friends etc) so what difference does her being away make. The toys are her kids toys, not public property.

RainRainGoAway12 · 05/08/2021 16:35

I have a similar garden and would be very happy to let a good friend use it while I was away. Like a PP, I’d offer a back door key and access to the kettle too! However, I’d never in a month of Sundays think to offer as I would be a bit self conscious. I feel like it would come across that I thought of myself as lady of the manor and my friend some sort of pauper. I’d be very happy to be asked, though.

warmandtoasty2day · 05/08/2021 16:36

no way, i'd be concerned about being liable if her dc is injured on my property, something gets damaged, that the gate wouldn't be locked each time, and most importantly my insurance might be invalidated.
I don't give a house key to anyone when we are away, too risky.

warmandtoasty2day · 05/08/2021 16:37

@Standrewsschool

I think it’s a cheeky ask. You don’t use her garden now ( eg when she’s out shopping, visiting friends etc) so what difference does her being away make. The toys are her kids toys, not public property.
this 100%
StoneofDestiny · 05/08/2021 16:37

I'd not ask - puts your friend in a. Dry awkward situation and might wreck your friendship if she does not agree, or if she feels pressured to agree.
Just use the park.

TheGoodShipObvious · 05/08/2021 16:40

I’m shocked at some of the answers here! Assuming you were a fairly good friend I would be totally happy for you to use my garden if it were me - I’d probably offer you a key to use the loo and ask that you water a few plants in return. I’m afraid it wouldn’t occur to me to offer - now it’s made me think I ought to, but I would worry I was implying my house was better than yours.

cookiecreampie · 05/08/2021 16:41

I think only you know if you have the type of relationship where you could ask for that type of thing. But generally I wouldn't ask. She would offer if she wanted you to use it.

Bluepop09 · 05/08/2021 16:42

I'd find it a bit weird tbh

alphabetllama · 05/08/2021 16:42

I think it would be really rude to ask and would put her in a v awkward position. Anything could happen while you were there and she could end up being liable because it's her property. What if football went through window or neighbours window? Or even damage to plants or toys. You can't be always watching two kids at the same time.

TheGlassBlowersDaughter · 05/08/2021 16:43

I wouldn't ask. As a PP said if anything happens there could be a question about whether you shut the gate properly, etc. It's not worth the risk when there are other outdoor space you can use and since you're not going to have access to her house then it's no better than going to a park.