For wanting to block this girl?

[Cupcakejamlover]

So this girl recently moved to London from very far away since she married a family acquaintance (in law’s family). Her husband is around my husbands age and they know each other, but aren’t close friends. Not for a particular reason, but it just never happened. Hubby and I went with my in laws to congratulate the couple for their wedding and welcome her in London, and meet her & get to know her. We took each other’s instagram by the end of the night so we can stay in touch. (I initiated this). A few weeks later i messaged her, told her if she was free to come over for a coffe (thinking it would be nice to build a friendship, especially for her since she barely knows anyone here.) she then answered “i would love to but i can’t this weekend, are you free next week? We would meet at a coffe shop.” Initially i didnt think much of it and said yes, but later on I kind of felt like it was very rude of her that I invited her to my house, for her to not ask but demand “we would meet at a coffe shop”. So when she asked me what day suits me, I told her i’d have to check with my husband when he’s free since he would have to babysit (have a young baby and am not comfortable taking him with me to coffe shops during covid and after that i wrote “Or if you want you could come with your hubby one day so the guys can meet as well, for us it’s just easier that way with the baby” and after that i got ignored, its been days with no answer!!
Is it just me or is this very rude? Anyways i’m now thinking of unfollowing her and make her unfollow me on instagram and leave it there, seems like she will be a difficult friend right? Am I overreacting or do you think i’m right?

I’d insist on meeting in a public place too if I were her, you’re very intense.

Is this the same poster from the other week who thought her SiL was jealous because she never liked any of her Facebook or Instagram posts?

It's probably because you talk about your "hubby". 🤮
Try deflating your ego, and empathising.

Just arrange to meet at the coffee shop - take your baby - you can't isolate you and your baby forever - End of. You sound like the difficult one in all this.

You sound difficult, rude and easily offended. In that interaction it's your turn to update her. You said you would check with your husband re babysitting so you should follow up.

It's perfectly reasonable (and normal) that she should want to meet at a coffee shop. She doesn't know you well and may prefer somewhere neutral. She may also want to reduce covid risks - although whatever the reason it really isn't your business.

If you want to support and befriend this young woman you should be kinder and more graceful. As it is you sound strangely resentful.

impossible

But it is a bit rude to ignore an offer of hospitality to say 'we would meet at a coffee shop' isn't it. It's ungracious and bossy.

She means could. Nobody says 'we would meet at a coffee shop' unless English is a second language and even then they're likely requesting it.

What is unreasonable is that you can't spell coffee when you must have seen it on a label a million times!

I've read other threads. Many if them read as though you're desperately searching for reasons to be offended. It is no way to live. Please get help.

You sound extremely immature. Block her??
Are you 12??
Calm down,this girl barley knows you.
And some people are more comfortable in a coffee shop that they know must be cleaned to meet protocols rather than someone's house where they don't know the last time someone hoovered the floors.
Seriously, block her??? Sorry I can't get passed this,block her??? I can't I just can't 😵‍💫

Chill out a bit.

I've moved around a lot and spent a lot of time making new friends with people from all over the world. Everyone does things differently and at their own pace. Don't over analyse the wording of messages. Sometimes we think things are rude and they really aren't meant in that way - especially when there's a language/culture difference.

It was nice of you to offer to meet up. Leave it with her. Maybe you'll end up meeting at that coffee shop and hitting it off. You might really like her once you get to know her and become friends. Or maybe not. Sounds like you know a few of the same people so your paths will probably cross again at some point, regardless of whether or not you get along. No need to rock the boat unless she is overtly unkind to you.

Life is easier when you don't over analyse things and unfollow people on social media over perceived slights. Just leave it alone and see what happens.

I wouldn't feel happy going to a random person's house...
As:
I want the option of sitting out under a canopy at an outside table...

It's common ground and it's easier to leave after an hour or so if we don't have that much in common.

I know that a cafe has to be regularly cleaned.

Any or all of these reasons would play into my suggestion.

@AngryWhompingWillow

I see the 'she is over 18 she is not a GIRL' crew are out.

SO. Tedious.

I'm wondering if using 'girl' is a regional thing, I rarely would use 'woman' when talking about someone who is a friend/colleague/acquaintance. It's always the 'girls in work' or someone is 'a nice girl' etc. I'm in the North of Ireland and girl is definitely more commonly used here than woman.

OP, YABVU.

Very extreme reaction by you OP!

If you feel she's ignoring you, why would you need to block her?

Surely you only block someone that's making contact with you?

How far away does she live? Is the journey to your house awkward by her mode of transport? Maybe she wants to meet you somewhere more convenient.

Maybe she is a coffee snob (not meant to be derogatory ) and wants to meet somewhere she will get a good coffee.

Maybe she wants to sit outside and you don't have outside seating?

All things you wouldn't necessarily say but would suggest meeting in a coffee shop.

I don't think she has said anything offensive