For wanting to block this girl?

[Cupcakejamlover]

So this girl recently moved to London from very far away since she married a family acquaintance (in law’s family). Her husband is around my husbands age and they know each other, but aren’t close friends. Not for a particular reason, but it just never happened. Hubby and I went with my in laws to congratulate the couple for their wedding and welcome her in London, and meet her & get to know her. We took each other’s instagram by the end of the night so we can stay in touch. (I initiated this). A few weeks later i messaged her, told her if she was free to come over for a coffe (thinking it would be nice to build a friendship, especially for her since she barely knows anyone here.) she then answered “i would love to but i can’t this weekend, are you free next week? We would meet at a coffe shop.” Initially i didnt think much of it and said yes, but later on I kind of felt like it was very rude of her that I invited her to my house, for her to not ask but demand “we would meet at a coffe shop”. So when she asked me what day suits me, I told her i’d have to check with my husband when he’s free since he would have to babysit (have a young baby and am not comfortable taking him with me to coffe shops during covid and after that i wrote “Or if you want you could come with your hubby one day so the guys can meet as well, for us it’s just easier that way with the baby” and after that i got ignored, its been days with no answer!!
Is it just me or is this very rude? Anyways i’m now thinking of unfollowing her and make her unfollow me on instagram and leave it there, seems like she will be a difficult friend right? Am I overreacting or do you think i’m right?

[mam0918]

why would she want to come to your house, she doesnt know you it would be awkward.

You're the one being awkward and hard to be friends with (+ you sound dramatic as hell making such offense out of something so common) just meet on neutral ground.

[CustardySergeant]

@mylovelydd

YABVU by writing 'coffe' when it's 'coffee'.

At least it wasn't 'covfefe'.

[Blippibloppi]

You sound nuts. I've not been to half my friends houses and I've known most of them for years, we're adults, we can go out instead - to the pub, to cafes, to restaurants. And I'm presuming she's a woman, not a girl, given she's old enough to be married.

[KarmaStar]

Yabu.and Yabu again for calling your husband your hubby.

[suspiria777]

"Also, if she's new to london she probably finds going to a coffee shop exciting."

Um... you know coffee shops exist (and are often far superior) in places other than London, right?

Anyway, to the OP, you sound absolutely crackers.

[wusbanker]

I wouldn't have responded either. "Hubby" shivers

[Howshouldibehave]

Anyway, to the OP, you sound absolutely crackers

This x 100!

[Scarlettpixie]

It’s just you.

You sound hard work.

[Onesailwait]

Aren't you the same poster that told your friends to take their time on a shopping trip & then got pissed off because they took their time & you waited in a carpark for 2hrs?. Maybe you need to change your communication style so you don't keep running into these friendship 'issues '

[Gazelda]

The poor woman. I can't see what on Earth she's done wrong.

[HyacynthBucket]

Not being rude, OP but are you sure you have enough to do to occupy your time? You seem to have been overthinking in a negative way. Maybe find an interest or go back to work after your baby.

[FunMcCool]

I would assume that it was an autocorrect from could to would.

You seem OTT op. I think you’re the strange one in this situation.

[sloutside]

Aren't you the same poster that told your friends to take their time on a shopping trip & then got pissed off because they took their time & you waited in a carpark for 2hrs?. Maybe you need to change your communication style so you don't keep running into these friendship 'issues

Oh it's that poster.
Say no more.
OP I do think you need to look at your communication style - communicating your own needs and wants more clearly - eg. with the incident in the car park.
You also seem to be obsessed with the idea that things are "rude" and seem to be concerned about coming over as "rude" yourself, that was one of the issues in the mall incident.
It's not rude to clearly communicate what you want or need.

You also need to try to read more carefully what people are saying to you. I think the woman you invited for a coffee is waiting for you to suggest a time when you are available as you said you'd have to check when your husband can babysit. The fact you then also invited her to yours rather than the coffee shop is a bit of a red herring.

[Howshouldibehave]

@Onesailwait

Aren't you the same poster that told your friends to take their time on a shopping trip & then got pissed off because they took their time & you waited in a carpark for 2hrs?. Maybe you need to change your communication style so you don't keep running into these friendship 'issues '

And the same poster who lived with her in laws and cried for 15 minutes because they watched a film without her.

How old are you, OP?!

[OldKingCole]

You sound like a nightmare!

[donquixotedelamancha]

I told her i’d have to check with my husband when he’s free since he would have to babysit (have a young baby and am not comfortable taking him with me to coffe shops during covid and after that i wrote “Or if you want you could come with your hubby one day so the guys can meet as well, for us it’s just easier that way with the baby” and after that i got ignored, its been days with no answer!!

regardless, at least she could have invited us over instead or maybe said something like “sure we’ll work something out ” and leave it there, instead of just completely ignoring me for inviting her over

She thinks you are going to reply with a date because that's what you said you would do. You are being rude by not replying for days, not her. Why would it take long to speak to DH and make sure he's not got plans on x day?

Maybe you need to change your communication style so you don't keep running into these friendship 'issues

Yeah, I remember that thread too. I agree that it does seem that you imagine others know excatly what you mean and can read between the lines when you agree to things you don't actually want.

[TSSDNCOP]

Um... you know coffee shops exist (and are often far superior) in places other than London, right?

Does anyone in real life ever start a sentence with Um whilst trying to make any sort of point? In this case a particularly condescending one.

[Summersun2020]

@TSSDNCOP it was in reply to a very condescending and patronising post about someone from outside London being excited about being in a coffee shop. A fucking coffee shop. We aren’t cave dwelling goons you know, there are coffee shops all over the uk.

[ThinWomansBrain]

YABU - for "hubby" alone

demonstrates the difficulties of conversation by text.

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

OP won't be back.

[neonjumper]

You sound really horrible and very unwelcoming, deliberately looking for fault when there isn't any ... apart from your own attitude.

[BelterDelta]

OP is 23, for those asking her age.

[MiddleClassProblem]

Wait, I remember OP from the mall trip thread where they went to sit in the car with their baby and said “no rush” to the others but got made when they didn’t rush.

Communication is the area you really need to work on. And to ease up the sensitivity in anything that isn’t going the way you imagine it will in your head. If you don’t communicate what you are picturing, no one else will know. And don’t take anything that isn’t exactly what you want as being a snub.

[Sagealicious]

I'd hate to see how you'd react when there really is a problem.

[hedgehogger1]

How old are you and what the fuck does Instagram have to do with anything? You sound very immature