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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dress baby DS in ‘girls’ clothes

148 replies

modu · 04/08/2021 10:37

My son is 7 months old, I split up with his dad last month and DS has been seen him regularly. At the weekend, he went to his dads and I packed clothes, and one of the clothes was a baby grow and it had flowers on it and it was from the ‘girls’ section, I still bought it. His dad has been difficult since we split up, and he asked me why I bought a flower babygrow for him and that he'll be embarrassed when he's older and he'd hate his mum if she dressed him like that when he was a baby.

Aibu?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 04/08/2021 10:38

Welcome to Mumsnet

Branleuse · 04/08/2021 10:43

no big deal. Its a baby. I dont think your kid will have any feelings about a floral babygro.
Saying that, if your ex has strict views on gendered clothing, maybe he should buy clothes he likes for when he has the baby, rather than expect you to provide them and then criticise them

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 04/08/2021 10:44

Well, why did you buy it? For a reaction from dad, because you knew it would annoy him? Or because you liked it?

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 04/08/2021 10:45

I agree that my husband would probably wonder his mother dressed him in a flowery outfit but he wouldn’t “hate” her.

pinkcircustop · 04/08/2021 10:47

Yep, YABU. You did it to make a point.

He doesn’t have to dress your son in what you send him in so if I was him I’d just roll my eyes at your wokeness and put him in appropriate clothing.

romdowa · 04/08/2021 10:47

I'm due in November and I have all sorts of clothes for my baby. I've no idea of the sex but last time I checked a flowery vest is not life threatening to a baby. I agree with pp if your ex has a problem then he can provide his own clothes.

cinammonbuns · 04/08/2021 10:48

@pinkcircustop pathetic. It’s a baby grow with flowers on. Cannot take anybody who uses ‘woke’ as an insult seriously.

Starjammer · 04/08/2021 10:51

Half of DD's wardrobe is from the 'boys' section. As a baby she just wore whatever.

Flowers doesn't have to mean festooned in them. I sometimes bought multipacks of babygros that had designs I hadn't noticed on the back ones, but I wouldn't waste them by not using them.

ikeepseeingit · 04/08/2021 10:51

A man that is threatened by a baby wearing flowers is a funny concept. It’s just a baby, if my mum had dressed me in dinosaurs and trains I don’t think I would have been offended! You’ll get called a snowflake, but they’re the ones that are offended at something that is not a problem.

Bitofachinwag · 04/08/2021 10:51

If your question had been about your daughter wearing a "boy" babygro replies would have been "yes of course that's fine, it's only clothes, etc". A girl wearing boys ' clothing is a cool tomboy= higher status. A boy wearing girls ' clothing, not ok = demeaning, lowers his status.

ParadiseLaundry · 04/08/2021 10:51

I bought DS2 lots of clothes from the girl section when he was little and now. He had quite a few pink baby grows and ones with rainbows and unicorn on. I avoided flowers and frills but that was just my preference, you can dress him however you want.

Maskless · 04/08/2021 11:08

Who stated that flowers are intrinsically "feminine" items? Why do you believe them?

Throughout history most gardeners, flower growers, florists and flower show judges have been men.

Crazy.

CounsellorTroi · 04/08/2021 11:12

Men wear floral shirts, so I can’t see the big deal about a baby boy wearing a floral babygro.

Kotatsu · 04/08/2021 11:16

If it helps, my kids have no memory of what they wore last week, let alone when they were a baby, and when they see baby pictures, they couldn't care less what they are wearing.

Dress the kid however you want, it's a baby, it can barely focus let alone have opinions on pattern choice. If he doesn't like it, he can buy his own babygrows.

TooMuchPaper · 04/08/2021 11:17

Did you do it to get a reaction from your ex?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 04/08/2021 11:19

My son had a vest with roses and daisies on it. It came in a multipack and we dressed him in it. He was about 4 months old. Hes 16 months old now and as far as I can tell he's come through the trauma of a vest with flowers on it like a champ. We take every day slowly and one at a time though.

SnickettyLemon · 04/08/2021 11:24

They are not 'girl's clothes. They are clothes which happen to have flowers on them. As far as I know flowers are not purely to be enjoyed by females.

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 04/08/2021 11:34

NOPE. doubt he will ever be aware that he is wearing clothes at all, never mind what pattern is on them. His dad is being ridiculous. It’s just a baby grow. Baby girls wear trousers. I doubt very much it affects them in any way when they are older. How ridiculous.

ancientgran · 04/08/2021 11:38

@Bitofachinwag

If your question had been about your daughter wearing a "boy" babygro replies would have been "yes of course that's fine, it's only clothes, etc". A girl wearing boys ' clothing is a cool tomboy= higher status. A boy wearing girls ' clothing, not ok = demeaning, lowers his status.
This is a 7 month old baby, I don't think anybody would say a 7 month old baby girl was a cool tomboy because she was wearing a blue babygro.
ancientgran · 04/08/2021 11:39

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

My son had a vest with roses and daisies on it. It came in a multipack and we dressed him in it. He was about 4 months old. Hes 16 months old now and as far as I can tell he's come through the trauma of a vest with flowers on it like a champ. We take every day slowly and one at a time though.
He's obviously a very resilient chap, I hope you haven't taken photos so there will be no evidence if he decides to sue you for abuse when he's older.
Sirzy · 04/08/2021 11:40

I have no issue with the baby wearing whatever BUT I do wonder if you did it simply to get a reaction from your ex?

FatCatThinCat · 04/08/2021 11:43

My DS often wore baby clothes from the girls section. I just thought they were nicer, brighter colours. He's 8 now and still wears the occasional, less 'girly', clothes from the girl's section because he likes bright colours and rainbows and kittens.

Yaty · 04/08/2021 11:44

If you did it to get a reaction from your ex YABU.
If it was just because you had it and he needed to be dressed its not a big deal at all and he needs to get a grip. I buy my DD stuff from the 'boys' section all the time. Baby girl stuff is always smaller and worse quality I've found.

x2boys · 04/08/2021 11:53

Why deliberately buy clothes from the girls section,? I can understand if clothes are passed d on to you, you would use them but to deliberately buy them seems a bit to try hard imo

JustDanceAddict · 04/08/2021 11:55

We put ds in older DD’s old pjs when he was about 2 and jokingly called him the girl version of his name. He was cracking up laughing (cos we all were) and had no idea why - we still watch the video we took at the time (15 years ago). Let’s say he’s not the one w gender issues in the family!
Joking aside, your baby will have no idea what he’s wearing at this stage. I def put ds in DD’s girly baby grows, at least for bed, esp If we’d run out. I didn’t purposely buy him girly ones though. I had a few gender neutrals I bought for dd and passed them on in the main.