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AIBU?

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Original poster

To dress baby DS in ‘girls’ clothes

148 replies

modu · 04/08/2021 10:37

My son is 7 months old, I split up with his dad last month and DS has been seen him regularly. At the weekend, he went to his dads and I packed clothes, and one of the clothes was a baby grow and it had flowers on it and it was from the ‘girls’ section, I still bought it. His dad has been difficult since we split up, and he asked me why I bought a flower babygrow for him and that he'll be embarrassed when he's older and he'd hate his mum if she dressed him like that when he was a baby.

Aibu?

OP posts:
CalamityJaneDoe · 04/08/2021 14:16

Clothes for children shouldn’t even HAVE a “gender”. They’re frigging clothes. It’s a joke.

It’s not a girls baby grow, it’s just a baby grow. Male children have the same build as female children as babies, toddlers, and young children.

God, I’m so sick of these sexist norms where everything is separated by gender and it’s all fine and parents of boys stick to it rigidly because their kid has a penis and that means he can’t wear pink or flowers as a literal infant!

JellyBabiesFan · 04/08/2021 14:19

Not an issue if you are saving money by using handmedowns and worn about the house. But to purposefully buy a girls outfit for a boy is clearly trying to get a reaction.

I think you need to grow up.

Parker231 · 04/08/2021 14:20

@Comedycook

I understand if it’s a hand me down but I wouldn’t go out of the way to buy a girls baby grow to put on my son

Yes I agree. Look, it's a baby,it doesn't really matter but I think it's a little odd to purposefully but a girl's babygro....unless it particularly unisex looking or plain.

What is a girls babygro v a boys babygro?

They are just clothes, they aren’t girls clothes or boys clothes.

toocold54 · 04/08/2021 14:21

Why deliberately buy clothes from the girls section,? I can understand if clothes are passed d on to you, you would use them but to deliberately buy them seems a bit to try hard imo

Girls must only be dressed in pink, frilly dresses and boys must only be dressed in blue clothes with cars on them.

He is being ridiculous! I’ve always shopped in the boys and girls section my teen DD now chooses her own clothes from both sections.
When she was a baby one day she would wear a pink ballerina tutu or frozen dress and then next she’d be in jeans and T-shirt with cars on.

JellyBabiesFan · 04/08/2021 14:21

God, I’m so sick of these sexist norms where everything is separated by gender and it’s all fine and parents of boys stick to it rigidly because their kid has a penis and that means he can’t wear pink or flowers as a literal infant

Rather than a metaphorical infant?

ElephantOfRisk · 04/08/2021 14:23

I suppose also, I can't see why a bright t-shirt with a dinosaur on it for a boy is offensive if it's all just clothes and therefore a flowery one is fine?

user64325 · 04/08/2021 14:24

I bought floral babygrows for my son. Men wear floral shirts? I find the notion that flowers are just for females utterly bizarre, hence me buying my son floral babygrows. But I accept it isn't the norm as I very rarely see other little boys too young to chose themselves in feminine clothes. I actually find it's women who feel more strongly about their boys not wearing anything feminine. My husband never raised an eyebrow.

334bu · 04/08/2021 14:29

Who cares? My boy/ girl twins both wore pink and blue babygros. My son grew very quickly and in a month or so was a size bigger than his sister. No way was I going to ignore the pink sleepsuits in the bigger size and go out and buy other blue ones for him to use . Similarly my daughter wore all the blue sleepsuits as well. Gendered clothes for babies are a nonsense.

Original poster
modu · 04/08/2021 14:34

@JellyBabiesFan

Not an issue if you are saving money by using handmedowns and worn about the house. But to purposefully buy a girls outfit for a boy is clearly trying to get a reaction.

I think you need to grow up.

I'm not looking for a reaction Hmm

He also wears the baby grow to sleep in so only we would see him in it.

OP posts:
CalamityJaneDoe · 04/08/2021 14:34

We call toddlers and children our babies so me saying literal is intended to mean this is literally an infant, rather than a toddler being called baby.

He’s not figuratively an infant, so he must be literally one.

GintyMcGinty · 04/08/2021 14:37

Of course it's fine. How silly.

Horehound · 04/08/2021 14:38

Tbh it's all very well saying things inherently associated with boys or girls shouldnt have to be only for those sexes but there is a reason things are stereotyped and as much as it's all very well to say boys can wear dresses etc..yes they can but they would be bullied for it.

So it's basically: forget trying to be cool, accepting, new age blah blah because unfortunately the world doesn't work that way.

Candydreamer · 04/08/2021 14:40

@Horehound we are talking about a 7 month old baby. Bullied by who?

His father?

He wears it to go to sleep in......

LolaSmiles · 04/08/2021 14:40

I actually think this thread has highlighted the total opposite - how close minded OPs ex and some of the posters are rather than people who expect a pat on the back for recognising that it isn't a big issue what babies/children wear
I think the pat on the back parents are as silly as the boys must only wear blue, girls wear pink parents. Both are signing up to stupid gender stereotypes, just one thinks they have to be followed and the other want a gold star for being so different. They're still both relying on gender stereotypes that kids don't need.

I don't see much difference between an adult arguing boys/girls must only wear blue/pink and an adult who sees obviously gendered clothing, buys it for their child of the opposite sex and then does the tilty head oh this, I can't imagine why anyone would think it's unusual that I went specifically to the girl section to buy my boy this strongly stereotypical girly clothing... surely clothes are just clothes and it doesn't matter right.

If someone genuinely felt gender stereotypes are silly and regressive and wasn't looking for a pat on the back or a reaction then they'd not be buying stereotypically gendered clothes because there's lots of unisex clothing out there in a range of colours and prints.

Horehound · 04/08/2021 14:42

[quote Candydreamer]@Horehound we are talking about a 7 month old baby. Bullied by who?

His father?

He wears it to go to sleep in......[/quote]
Yeh I know and it is fairly silly of the dad to say it about one flowery baby gro. I was just talking in general terms.

CalamityJaneDoe · 04/08/2021 14:43

@Horehound

Tbh it's all very well saying things inherently associated with boys or girls shouldnt have to be only for those sexes but there is a reason things are stereotyped and as much as it's all very well to say boys can wear dresses etc..yes they can but they would be bullied for it.

So it's basically: forget trying to be cool, accepting, new age blah blah because unfortunately the world doesn't work that way.

Sorry, what’s the reason that girls are stereotypically dressed in flowers?

So what you’re saying is, we should keep all of our regressive stereotypes no matter how harmful because some people behave badly? But surely that makes us the ones behaving badly; seeing the issue and doing nothing about it is as bad as contributing directly.

Gardenwalldilema · 04/08/2021 14:46

I think if it's a handmedown then no issue, but to go to the girls section and buya flowery one screams a bit try hard, you say you don't have issue with dinosaurs or blue, so why not just buy them? I imagine part of your motivation is to annoy the dad

Parker231 · 04/08/2021 14:49

@Gardenwalldilema - why not flowery babygros and dinosaur babygros? Boys and girls can wear both - it doesn’t have to be one or another.

floatingon · 04/08/2021 14:51

I’m expecting DC2 in November and we have a DD already, if this ones a boy he will wear DD’s old clothes. I’ve already bought some baby clothes from both the girl and boy sections, because I liked them and flowers/trucks/pink/blue do not make things male or female

GojuRyuLover · 04/08/2021 14:54

@x2boys

Why deliberately buy clothes from the girls section,? I can understand if clothes are passed d on to you, you would use them but to deliberately buy them seems a bit to try hard imo
Because OP likes the clothes. Clothes are just clothes, they shouldn't be for a particular baby based on which genitals they have. That's just silly.

If OP thinks clothes are nice then they should buy them. Baby sounds well looked after.

Horehound · 04/08/2021 14:55

@CalamityJaneDoe
they are traits which are generalised or classified to all individuals forming part of a specific category... So it's not things which are just plucked out of thin air.
So boys generally would prefer a car where a girl would pick a Barbie

Obviously there would be some exceptions.

But no, I don't mean we all have to accept this at all..it's just not everyone will accept any change in the perceived stereotypes quickly.

Candydreamer · 04/08/2021 14:56

@LolaSmiles I dont really think OPs thought process was that deep, she obviously liked the baby grow and got it for her child. this thread has come about because his father has made a silly comment about it.

Branleuse · 04/08/2021 14:56

Why are flowers for girls anyway? Boys can like flowers and gardening

Bulbulousmaximus · 04/08/2021 15:01

My boys love flowers. I don't see why this is an issue.

Bulbulousmaximus · 04/08/2021 15:02

It's quite unfair not to let boys enjoy flowers. Why should they have to like vehicles. What a sad world.