Page 7 | To ask how to tell my friend her house smells?

KingdomScrolls · 03/08/2021 20:57

Dog houses always smell of dog no matter how clean, there will be people clamouring to say their house doesn't, but it does. I've known many people over the years who have lovely clean and tidy homes, but the zoflora and the plug ins don't remove the dog smell.
It's like when you go to a smoker's house, even if they only smoke outside you can smell it and smell it on your clothes when you leave. They become accustomed to it.
When DH and I were first together he'd moved back into his parents for a variety of reasons between tenancies and ended up staying almost a year after his dad had a serious car accident. He used to say their house didn't smell of dog, when we visit now he can smell it. Their home is lovely and clean and tidy, no dog blood or licking of plates but if you have dogs you have the smell

Griefmonster · 03/08/2021 21:00

I just couldn't go. Can you arrange to always meet her out? When I think of it, I rarely visit friends' houses. Hi for (dog) walk, meet in a café, out for cheap meal or drinks?

ChrissyPlummer · 03/08/2021 21:02

I accept from my earlier comment some people may get ill. For reference, my dog is not allowed to lick plates, leftovers are put in his dish. He does try though if we put one on the table and go to grab a drink or something. Nor does he have the opportunity to lick fox poo or other animals as he is never off the lead.

He is allowed to go where he likes in my house as he lives here. If we were having visitors, I’d change this for a short while, he wouldn’t be able to go upstairs or into their room for example. As pp said though, everyone has a different tolerance for what they find disgusting. My ex’s parents used to have one of those covered litter trays for their cats (they were indoor cats) in their kitchen. I didn’t like that, even though it was cleaned as soon as it was used and they were scrupulous with hand hygiene.

toconclude · 03/08/2021 21:04

@lancaster

So her flat smells of dog and she lets her dog eat leftovers. Not really seeing the major issue here.

This is how "dog lovers" get a bad name. You want to live in stink, feel free. Just don't expect anyone else to put up with it.

Arrivederla · 03/08/2021 21:14

@mam0918

My view is my pets live here and you dont so I dont really care if you like how we conduct our lives with them.

Frankly its just as gross to eat with a fork thats been in someone elses mouth as it is a plate a pet licked that has been washed (no idea why you think a dishwasher would make it magically ok) In fact I have known animal and humans where I would rather share a plate with the animal than the person when it comes to hygene lol.

Simply dont go over if you dont want to but dont sit and judge her and insult her lifestyle/pets.

For God's sake.

girl71 · 03/08/2021 21:20

"@Thatsjustwhatithink You should never wash blood out on a hot wash. It fixes the proteins. You should always wash blood out in cold water. Once blood is set in a fabric, it won't come out unless bleached...which obviously is a terrible idea on anything that isn't white.
So entirely possible that you can wash a sheet on a boiling wasj multiple times and the blood won't go".

FGS, Dennis Waterman and the flying squad wont be interested in yr period /dog heat sheets. The blood may not go if you are a CSI but , the stain will have been removed and all bacteria gone if you are a normal person and wash at 95 degrees. The bedding will be hygienically clean and stain free and can re dress yr bed with stain free clean bedding.

God almighty. Who even bleaches and worries about proteins unless they are the Kray twins .

girl71 · 03/08/2021 21:39

@Thatsjustwhatithink apologies, I did not mean to be rude or dismissive of yr post. I was posting from a stain removal point of view an not a scientific one. Apologies.

DoYouLikeOwls · 03/08/2021 22:41

[quote girl71]"@DoYouLikeOwls I don't agree that everyone who has dogs houses stink. Especially if you don't have carpets".

They do, its in the fabric of the furniture, the wooden/tiled flooring/grout, the Op's clothes, the families bedding. Its everywhere. My friend had dogs and used to come to mine ( i did not want to go to hers) and her clothes and handbag even stank of dog, it permeated my own house. Its awful if you are not a dog person. [/quote]
Was your Friend Barbara Woodhouse? She needs to change her bedding and clothes more often. So you are now saying that not only everyones house stinks when they have a dog but they do even when they are not in their house.

You must know some pretty tramps people.

DoYouLikeOwls · 03/08/2021 22:41

Trampy people.

girl71 · 03/08/2021 22:55

@DoYouLikeOwls yes, they are quite trampy, even by their own admission.

girl71 · 03/08/2021 23:08

@DoYouLikeOwls 2 of my direct office colleagues also have dogs. They are both covered in hair and smell of dogs at work. My self and 2 other colleagues who share the office, ( 5 of us in total) have the windows open. When we do home safeguarding visits we go in my car as, my fellow safe guarder , is one with a dog and , her car stinks of dog. As i am allergic i cannot go anywhere near it, so we go in my nice clean dog smell free car.

DoYouLikeOwls · 03/08/2021 23:27

[quote girl71]@DoYouLikeOwls 2 of my direct office colleagues also have dogs. They are both covered in hair and smell of dogs at work. My self and 2 other colleagues who share the office, ( 5 of us in total) have the windows open. When we do home safeguarding visits we go in my car as, my fellow safe guarder , is one with a dog and , her car stinks of dog. As i am allergic i cannot go anywhere near it, so we go in my nice clean dog smell free car. [/quote]
You do know that not all dogs shed hair? You are allergic though so I can understand why you don't like dogs. Just get friends without dogs, keep opening the windows and sharing the dog free cars at work. You are obviously passionate about your beliefs.

To the OP, I wouldn't stay. Go for a nice meal out and then drive home. If she asks why, just say you have plans early the next day. Good luck.

TheHateIsNotGood · 03/08/2021 23:34

Just tell her. The last person I said "you smell" to was really appreciative and a bit gutted that no one else had mentioned it.

And we got '"the smell" eradicated too.

Disneyblue · 03/08/2021 23:34

Urgh, I hate the smell of dog. My sister in law's place was like this when I went last week. I couldn't stay long.

TheHateIsNotGood · 03/08/2021 23:39

Just a thought, many here are recoiling at the smell of dog - so I ask what do humans smell like?

Surely more than deoderant and perfume?

RosesandPumpkins · 03/08/2021 23:42

Yeah I’d just make sure to always meet out from now on. No way would I be sleeping there. Yuck!

maddy68 · 03/08/2021 23:49

You need to pick your moment.

Ask her if she bathes her dogs as a " friend of yours doesn't and the house stinks in the summer ". When she asks does hers smell. Be honest.

It depends on your relationship. I would be very honest. And say ffs your house stinks in the summer of swetty dog. (I am also a dog owner )

Yaya26 · 04/08/2021 00:24

@imamearcat

Off topic but I think she sounds a nicer dog owner that you with your dog 'in its own designated space'.

Wise up. Yeah OP should lose any boundaries or standards and give two messy big animals free rein of her house. Have the house absolutely minging and feed her human guests from crockery that the dogs have slobbered over. I love my dog and cats but I'm sorry the humans in my home take priority and I'm not going to turn my house into a s*hole just because I have pets.

IJustLikeBiscuitsOK · 04/08/2021 00:36

I would really struggle with this, and I probably wouldn't say anything because I am a total push over of a wuss who hates confrontation. I would possibly play up the 13 year old dog though, and say he's really old, he's starting to get anxious when you leave etc and you just don't feel comfortable leaving him all night so can we stay at mine ?

chorizoTapas · 04/08/2021 00:43

You'll never convince dog owners that their houses smell of dog. I've not met one dog owner whose house doesn't have that distinctive doggy smell yet 99% of dog owners are adamant that they're house does not smell. Lost cause

Dogvmarmot · 04/08/2021 00:50

@Dogproblems14

NC as outing.

I have a friend who I’ve been friends with for over 3 years. We are in our 30’s. She is a lovely person and I love spending time with her and her company. My friend recently moved out of her parents home and into her own one bed flat. This issue is, she has two big dogs living in the flat with her. I don’t necessarily agree with dogs in flats but, it’s her life and each to their own- but the smell is atrocious.

I’ve been to her flat twice, and it smells very heavy of dog with hair everywhere- it's a very strong smell. One of the dogs has also been on heat and last time she hadn’t washed her bedding despite it having blood on and the dog being on heat weeks before! Another issue is that when I’m there she lets the dogs lick the leftovers directly off the plate, and sometimes tea out of her mug! she doesn’t have a dishwasher and I just think it’s so gross to watch her dogs eat off a plate that then I have too.

She’s invited me round for dinner and a sort of wine night, and to stay over on Friday and I’m dreading it. The dogs are her babies, and I do think if I mention anything she will be highly offended- she’s quite a sensitive person. She has no mental health issues, and is actually a very clean and immaculate person in herself which makes this situation stranger. I’ve suggested her coming to mine instead, but as she lives in a city centre and there’s more to do it makes more sense to eat/drink there. It would be a very expensive taxi home to mine which also wouldn't make sense to her.

How can I go there, and not be grossed out by the thought of eating/sleeping there? ☹ I feel like a horrible awful friend.

Also sorry to any dog lovers I may have offended!

bring your own bedding and plate and bowl. Be 'honest' and say that you are v v squeamish about animals. Or just wash your plate in hot soapy water at hers when she is not in the room.... Surely she would wash the bedsheets before you sleep in them if she is as clean as you say.

Abitofalark · 04/08/2021 01:26

You can't inflict that on yourself. You just can't be there. Could you make and excuse about possibly having or having had the dreaded covid virus as your sense of smell has changed and made you sensitive to dog smell particularly and you can't be indoors with dogs in the room? The smell thing happened to me recently when I had a bout of illness which was probably the virus variant. I was nauseous all the time and my sense of taste and smell changed. Every time I went into another room in the house I'd sniff and think it smells in here. Not something I'd ever notice normally. And that's with no dogs or animals in the house. How can you maintain a viable friendship with someone so unaware? There's a gulf between you.

Saracen · 04/08/2021 01:36

If you can't have a dog allergy, develop a mystery allergy. Tell her you felt ill after the first time you went to her house but thought it was unrelated to staying there, but then you had a similar reaction the second time. Could be a coincidence and you were steeling yourself to go a third time just to be sure, but you simply can't face it. You think you might have an allergy. Could be caused by anything: cleaning products, one of her houseplants, washing powder, who knows? And since you're never going to be able to figure out just what it is that you're allergic to there, you won't be able to visit any more.

Saoirse82 · 04/08/2021 02:07

I'm a dog lover but that is disgusting letting a dog lick your plate and tea from your cup. I'm far from OCD about mess (you should see my spare room) but to have a dog bleeding on your bedding and then not change your bed, the thought of it would turn my stomach, that is just absolutely gross.
I have no advice though, only sympathy as I'd feel the same way!

Thatsjustwhatithink · 04/08/2021 05:14

[quote girl71]@Thatsjustwhatithink apologies, I did not mean to be rude or dismissive of yr post. I was posting from a stain removal point of view an not a scientific one. Apologies. [/quote]
It's not CSI, it's called knowledge gained from washing the period blood out of your sheets. Cold water is best for that. Google it if you want.

I'm really not sure why suddenly you've turned this to crime. Odd.