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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How many kids did you want v's how many you have

570 replies

RevolvingPivot · 02/08/2021 15:40

I wanted 3. I've got 2.

OP posts:
DeepDown12 · 04/08/2021 09:15

Wanted 2, got 1 after years of battling infertility. Feeling like the luckiest person in the world and won't try again even if I still have that little niggling feeling of 'wouldn't it be nice...'.

Maggiesfarm · 04/08/2021 09:15

People are stupid, they don't think before opening their mouths. I have heard that sort of thing said to others and I wonder how anyone can be so personal!

My mother used to say people were selfish if they chose to have no children - and there was nobody more selfish or self centred than her.

The other thing is (not in your case), you don't know if someone is having fertility problems, either primary (or secondary if they have one child); not everybody wants to advertise the fact. In those cases what an absolute pain it must be to have to listen to such comments.

I know several 'only' children who are completely happy and well adjusted, my nephew being one; he has loads of friends, lovely parents (and of course he has us :-).

I don't appear to have quoted anyone here and now can't remember to whom I was replying but never mind, you get the gist.

EarringsandLipstick · 04/08/2021 09:22

@DeepDown12

Wanted 2, got 1 after years of battling infertility. Feeling like the luckiest person in the world and won't try again even if I still have that little niggling feeling of 'wouldn't it be nice...'.
That's lovely ❤️
NationMcKinley · 04/08/2021 09:23

Wasn’t sure but now have 3. Wish I’d had another tbh! It’s hard work but I’m surprised at how much I enjoy it

WeeWelshWoman · 04/08/2021 09:28

Wanted 3, have 1.

Sandytoesfrecklednose · 04/08/2021 09:33

I dreamed of having 5, enough for a Sandytoes competitive sports team 😂 I have 2 and I’m more than happy with that. H had a vasectomy a few years ago so I’m definitely done.

maryberryslayers · 04/08/2021 09:46

Wanted 4 had 2. Got one of each sex and our family is complete. Pregnancy/birth is horrific for me so DH is off for the✂️.

GameSetMatch · 04/08/2021 10:04

Wanted 2 and have 2 but now I’m thinking about number 3

Proudboomer · 04/08/2021 10:16

Up until my mid twenties didn’t want any then met my husband and by the time we married I wanted 3. Had 2 as when pregnant with 2nd first was diagnosed with a genetic condition with a 50/50 chance of 2nd also having it. 2nd was born without it but I didn’t want to risk a third so stopped at what I had.

pavlovarules · 04/08/2021 10:26

Always liked the idea of 3 but having had 2 in my mid/late thirties I really didn't think I'd be able to manage a third at pushing 40! Also finances and living space were a factor. Very happy with my 2!

GreenLeafTurnip · 04/08/2021 10:35

Wanted 3, had one, thought am I crazy one is plenty! So sticking to one.

Mrseds · 04/08/2021 11:11

Wanted 5 have 2, been a bloody struggle to get them, really struggling with maybe not having another

ileflottante · 04/08/2021 12:12

@Maggiesfarm

People are stupid, they don't think before opening their mouths. I have heard that sort of thing said to others and I wonder how anyone can be so personal!

My mother used to say people were selfish if they chose to have no children - and there was nobody more selfish or self centred than her.

The other thing is (not in your case), you don't know if someone is having fertility problems, either primary (or secondary if they have one child); not everybody wants to advertise the fact. In those cases what an absolute pain it must be to have to listen to such comments.

I know several 'only' children who are completely happy and well adjusted, my nephew being one; he has loads of friends, lovely parents (and of course he has us :-).

I don't appear to have quoted anyone here and now can't remember to whom I was replying but never mind, you get the gist.

It might have been me. And I agree with you. Oddly, when I was pregnant, I used to also get really pushy comments about how I simply must breastfeed. And they all came from slightly older men whose kids were pushing young teens and who I know for a fact were not particularly hands-on dads.

Christ knows why I attract these sorts of comments and commenters, I must have one of those faces. Fortunately I’m not particularly meek so will generally tell people what I think of their viewpoints.

justlliloleme · 04/08/2021 12:22

I didn’t want any - I have 2

MegaClutterSlut · 04/08/2021 12:29

Wanted 2, one of each sex. Luckily I had 2, one of each sex

NoThannks · 04/08/2021 12:30

Wanted two, got twins. Done.

I'd happily blend families with someone who has kids, so there are more kids in the house, but I don't want to do labour again.

Thisnamewasnttaken123 · 04/08/2021 12:35

I wanted 6 before I actually had kids.
I have had 4 and I am happy with my 4.

OddSox123 · 04/08/2021 12:42

I am very lucky and got exactly what I wanted....2 : boy first then girl. I'm done and planning for DH to have the snip next 😂

H8theW8 · 04/08/2021 13:00

Didn't want any until I met DH at almost 31. 36 now, have 1 and pregnant with my second. Won't be having anymore x

Largethighsbadeyes · 04/08/2021 13:05

Wanted 2. Have 1. Medically unable to have more and OH won't consider surrogacy or adoption. I'm sad about it most days tbh

Mommabear20 · 04/08/2021 13:14

Wanted 0, have 2 and planning number 3! 😂 just need to bring DH into the plan now 😂

Maggiesfarm · 04/08/2021 13:32

@Largethighsbadeyes

Wanted 2. Have 1. Medically unable to have more and OH won't consider surrogacy or adoption. I'm sad about it most days tbh
Be glad of what you have, Largethigh. You are blessed to have one child.
Temple29 · 04/08/2021 14:02

Want 3, have 2 so far but will try for a third next year all going well.

bibliomania · 04/08/2021 14:55

Vaguely thought "a few". After I had dd, I had a feeling that she should have had a little brother, but I split with her father when she was 18 months so it never happened. Every now and then I have a "Look at the little squidgy toes!" moment but dd is 13 and I am 47 so that ship has sailed.

RevolvingPivot · 04/08/2021 16:02

Good luck to all those TTC or hoping too in the future! 🙏

OP posts: