Page 21 | How many kids did you want v's how many you have

Worldwide2 · 04/08/2021 06:19

Wanted 3 have 2. I just don't think I want to do the pregnancy again or the birth! Plus as they are both getting older it does get easier. I don't think I want to go back to the baby days. I think I'm done now. Head says stop at 2 and heart says 3. I feel very lucky with the 2 I have and don't want to rock the boat so to speak.

Angelil · 04/08/2021 06:57

Want 2 and have 1. Praying the next isn’t twins!!

Mummadeze · 04/08/2021 07:04

Wanted 1, have 1. Never felt differently.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 04/08/2021 07:10

Up until the age of 25 I assumed I'd have 2 as this seemed to be the norm. But then I really thought about what I wanted in life rather than what society almost expected, and I realised I didn't like being around kids much so why would I have them. I'm now in my 50s and never regretted that choice. So...

0 and 0 (thank fuck for good birth control/choices is all I can say!)

supersonicginandtonic · 04/08/2021 07:12

Wanted 2! Got 4, a DSD and guardianship of my nephew 🙈

Maskless · 04/08/2021 07:18

0 and 0

prettypinkflamingo · 04/08/2021 07:38

Wanted 2, only managed to have 1. But now also have an amazing DSD who I love ❤️

Lockeddownagain · 04/08/2021 07:39

Wanted 2 have 1

ConstanceGracy · 04/08/2021 07:46

Wanted 0 have 2.
Wouldn’t change anything though

Lockeddownagain · 04/08/2021 07:48

I fine the whole only child parent being selfish so weridm I wanted to give my daughter a sibling but I couldn't so it didn't happen but I actually find people would have 5 and 6 kids far more selfish. How can you give your time and them all the opportunities if your spilting yourself and money 5 or 6 ways . My husband and his brother don't get on my mum and her brother fell out my dad is the easiest laid back person and is an only child.

TooManyDinosaurs1 · 04/08/2021 07:51

I always wanted 3 and we are very lucky to have had our 3rd a few months ago. I felt utter contentment up until maybe a month ago when I started to (secretly) think "could I have a fourth?". My husband is 100% done but I for some reason don't feel done now. Its strange as I had a hideous birth which I'm still recovering from, it makes no sense!!

EarringsandLipstick · 04/08/2021 08:03

@Lockeddownagain

I fine the whole only child parent being selfish so weridm I wanted to give my daughter a sibling but I couldn't so it didn't happen but I actually find people would have 5 and 6 kids far more selfish. How can you give your time and them all the opportunities if your spilting yourself and money 5 or 6 ways . My husband and his brother don't get on my mum and her brother fell out my dad is the easiest laid back person and is an only child.

How judgy of you!

Everyone's circumstances are different. I have a friend with 5. All close in age. She's amazingly calm & they've a great life. They are also very well-off, and have a large house. I don't think that's necessary for a happy family but it certainly helps.

I certainly don't think that having 5 or 6 children means less attention or love for children, just that it's done differently.

Ileflottante · 04/08/2021 08:05

I didn’t want any, was told I was selfish. Accidentally had one. Got told I was selfish for only having one. What is it with people having opinions on women’s uteruses? Anyway, as a poster said above, why am I selfish but someone who has had seven kids isn’t?

EarringsandLipstick · 04/08/2021 08:07

I wanted 4. Had 3, close in age. My marriage ended so didn't have more.

I love them dearly but it's been hard doing it alone. However, I still wish I could have had 4, and it's only recently I've got over the feeling of one being 'missing'. I recognise how lucky I am to have 3 healthy & mostly happy children.

EarringsandLipstick · 04/08/2021 08:08

@Ileflottante

I didn’t want any, was told I was selfish. Accidentally had one. Got told I was selfish for only having one. What is it with people having opinions on women’s uteruses? Anyway, as a poster said above, why am I selfish but someone who has had seven kids isn’t?

Crazy. I cannot imagine commenting on anyone's choices, and of course having 1 isn't selfish!

I have never heard anyone I know comment on anyone's choices though.

Thimphu · 04/08/2021 08:10

Wanted four (in dream/unrealistic circumstances) - had one.

Monday26July · 04/08/2021 08:47

@Ileflottante

I didn’t want any, was told I was selfish. Accidentally had one. Got told I was selfish for only having one. What is it with people having opinions on women’s uteruses? Anyway, as a poster said above, why am I selfish but someone who has had seven kids isn’t?

Wait... people told you you were selfish for not having a child at all? Having a child is pretty much the most selfish act on the planet, because that child doesn't exist yet so when you make the decision it's solely about you and your own wants and desires. I don't say that like it's a bad thing. It just is. How can choosing to not have any kids be in any way selfish? Struggling to understand that.

I've noticed the people who say that someone is selfish for not 'giving child a sibling' tend to have siblings that they have good relationships with so they have a rose tinted idea of what it means to have siblings. I've never once been told I'm selfish for having one kid by someone who's experienced difficult sibling relationships.

starlight13 · 04/08/2021 08:51

Wanted 3 and have 3.

Ileflottante · 04/08/2021 08:52

@EarringsandLipstick I have had comments from my shitty FIL when I was adamant I didn’t want a child (I had been entirely upfront with my H and he still wanted to marry me), women in supermarkets, older men, my SIL (overheard to my H and to my face), and memorably, a male friend of my then boss while I was pregnant with the first one. WTF. No friends have said it to me, just people I don’t know and those on the periphery of my life.

Ileflottante · 04/08/2021 08:54

@Monday26July I’m glad you think that too. I could not for the life of me, then or now, understand why choosing not to have a child was selfish. It’s the most stupid fucking argument ever, used by insecure people who need the reassurance in their lives that everyone else has made the same choice as them, as those who don’t throw their own choices into question. I’d assume…

EarringsandLipstick · 04/08/2021 08:55

[quote Ileflottante]@EarringsandLipstick I have had comments from my shitty FIL when I was adamant I didn’t want a child (I had been entirely upfront with my H and he still wanted to marry me), women in supermarkets, older men, my SIL (overheard to my H and to my face), and memorably, a male friend of my then boss while I was pregnant with the first one. WTF. No friends have said it to me, just people I don’t know and those on the periphery of my life.[/quote]
That's terrible. Those people are awful. It's hard to imagine there are people like this (I don't mean I don't believe you, just that it's unimaginable people would feel free to comment like this).

KisstheTeapot14 · 04/08/2021 09:04

Wanted 3 and got 1. Sometimes feel a bit wishful but both me and DS have SEN/disability.

Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to fight for his rights every step of the way - I could not have done that with baby#2 on my hip/being a toddler and CFS.

All those meetings with LA/school, hospital appts, paperwork - endless paperwork. No way.

So glad I had him though, he's more amazing than I could have dreamed.

peoniesandpastels · 04/08/2021 09:09

I always wanted 3, am currently pregnant with #2 and very much feeling like we are done after this. My body does not handle pregnancy well, and I can't imagine doing this again whilst looking after two small children.

Wallywobbles · 04/08/2021 09:11

Thought I'd have 2 boys and a girl. Have 3 girls and a boy.

DoctorSnortles · 04/08/2021 09:11

@BingBongToTheMoon

I wanted 3 & have been bloody lucky to have the 1 I have.

Same here.