To have just thrown a tantrum

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

I am 32 weeks pregnant, bored of it and uncomfortable, and I’m not normally known for being easygoing as it is, but Christ the red mist that just descended. I don’t even know why really.

We had our passports out to send to mortgage guy. DH commented I had 9 months left on mine and would probably need a new one before I traveled abroad again. I said I wouldn’t and I could travel abroad anytime I want in the next nine months. He reminded me about the baby and about covid. I said ‘what so I can’t even go to fucking Paris on the Eurostar just because I have a baby?!’

He’s such a reasonable person that it just made it worse, I screamed that I hated everything, actually stamped my foot , he made a hasty retreat and said he was going out for a fry up, and I kicked his trainers around the room because he can’t ever fucking put them away and blasted System of a Down.

It’s a proper full on teenage rage tantrum.

(This is lighthearted and DH is not trapped in an abusive marriage and will enjoy fry up until I’m calm enough for him to return)

Make me feel better. Have you ever had a proper tantrum as an adult? (Is ‘throwing a wobbly’ an offensive term these days?!)

There are a few vipers out in full force today and showing themselves for who they are.

I think YABU and need to apologise. Presumably your partner can get past it and accept that you were being irrational for whatever reason, but your treatment of him was unfair and you need to give a sincere apology and make amends.

*Do not try and pretend that this isn't a normal Occurrence when pregnant

If it’s so normal, how is it that most of the pp you’re lecturing have managed not to throw tantrums when they were pregnant? Pregnancy doesn’t give you a free pass to behave like a toddler.

Totally not the point, but the other issue with passport validity is any extra time added to your last passport because there was time left on the passport before that doesn't count anymore (they don't add unused time back on anymore so not an issue going forward). So when I renewed mine in April 2012, there was still 3 months on my old passport which they added to the new one, taking it to June 2022. However, that 3 months is no longer recognised by most countries and I need 6 months on my passport for most countries, which means my passport that expires in June 2022 is actually good for nothing from October

You can check yours here and find out here for travel to Europe and confirm when yours is good until www.gov.uk/check-a-passport-travel-europe

@DinosaurDiana

Women on here can be really fucking horrible

I agree, a real nest of vipers on here sometimes.

This ^

@Tiana4 I think you're glitching. Try to come up with something better than "vipers!!!" 😄

But on the tantrum front, go nuts. You're growing a human being. Nothing about that is rational so why should you be

@tiana4 Seriously?

Nothing more cringe than throwing a wobbler when you were actually wrong in the first place, 😂

On a serious note, being pregnant isn’t an excuse for bad behaviour, nor is hormones or periods, that shit just gives women a bad reputation, if you’re behaving like shit then have the balls to own it.

I can't believe my comment got deleted for telling this woman she should act like an adult - nice work @mnhq 😂

[quote TheGumption]@Tiana4 I think you're glitching. Try to come up with something better than "vipers!!!" 😄[/quote]
Thank-you for outing yourself

OP posted something that she owned and this is meant to be a supportive website

It makes me very sad to see unpleasantness when PPs enjoy trying to read more into what happened, exaggerate and claim to be nice when their posts are not nice

@douliket being pregnant is absolutely no excuse to throw a tantrum like a child and abuse your partner.

OP posted something that she owned and this is meant to be a supportive website

Who said? It’s AIBU not AIBUBCISBBJBIAW.

(Am I being unreasonable but can I still behave badly just because I’m a woman.)

I feel for you, OP!

Sometimes I feel pregnancy should be renamed Poisoning By Hormones. The ~all-day~ morning sickness, pains, cramps, mood swings, etc etc - a nightmare.

DH tried 3 shops to get me my favourite Ben and Jerry’s . When he turned up with a different flavour I accused him of not caring about me or the baby, and burst into tears. Another time I threw his dirty clothes out of the window because they were the chair and not the laundry basket.

It’s a tumultuous time. Best of luck

@tiana4 Are you not actually reading what you are posting?

Part of bring up DCs kindly (& treating others kindly) is to seek to understand them and to respect when they own up for bad behaviour and seek themselves to redress it. OP did more than that right from the start.

So the pile on by a minority PPs is unnecessary and says more about them than they realise.

Those that lack compassion and understanding for others at times they are vulnerable (which includes teens with raging hormones or frustrated young DC), are likely to show that within their own families as well. Fixed judgemental thinking regardless of the fact the person has insight, taken action, to put the boot in and over generalise, doesn't bode well in empathising with - nor for supportive parenting for - DCs growing up too.

Confiscatedpopit

Wow- what lead to the diagnosis for all 3 of you? No expectation to answer- I’m just being bossy, This must be a huge thing to process

ADHD can be genetic. I look on my family, mother aunts, uncle, grandfather and even what family have said about great grandfather. I can see it in all in them.

It was dd who realised that she wasn’t like other people. I had just assumed people just were able to do stuff I couldn’t like hold down a job for over 2 years without having a nervous breakdown and taking a year out to recover or being able to go to the supermarket just once per day instead of 3,4,5 or 6 times because I have forgotten stuff. (Did make a list a lot of time but lost it)

Dd was diagnosed with dyslexia when she was 15 and on her report it said that she should be tested for ADD. Obviously I didn’t understand what it meant and probably went to look it up but then got distracted and forgot.
Dd was sorting out a box of paperwork and read the report then actually looked up ADD and then got on to the symptoms of ADHD.

She brought the list to me and I read it and said well I have all those symptoms and I had all those symptoms as a child.

We decided to get tested. Went through the referral. I went into my assessment and was diagnosed in 3 minutes.

The more I watched YouTube videos on ADHD the more I see people describing my life. I just thought it was normal and I was just lazy or easily distracted

YABVVVVVVU to play System of a Down. They suck!
I've just given you another reason to go off on one, haven't I?

Don't be hard on yourself OP. You're overworked, exhausted, nearing the end of pregnancy. We've all had our wobblies at some point.

I think what a minority of PP have missed is that it was a light hearted post where OP said she knew it was a pregnancy hormone fuelled mini tantrum , she was laughing and embarrassed at herself and intended to say sorry to her DP. Who all she did was argue with over a passport in frustration.

She didn't throw anything at her DP. She kick a little his trainers - that he leaves out annoyingly in the front room - when he was out of the room and intended to apologise. I'm sure the trainers will survive!

The "reading more into it" & mislabelling does a disservice to those who are genuinely in abusive relationships.

Trying to verbally kick a heavily pregnant woman in her third trimester, who realises she felt overwhelmed & called herself out in it, - she did it in a very self deprecative way- is unnecessary unkindness.

Anyone who is enjoys being unkind, usually makes for poor relationships in their own lives. People may not tell them that until they go LC, fed up.

I threw a complete and total wobbler one Christmas. I had a Plan for the meals - roast goose etc on Christmas Day, cold gammon, baked potatoes and coleslaw on Boxing Day, and sticky Asian goose on the 27th. But when I went to shred the left over goose, before putting it in the sticky marinade, half of it was gone!

Having shone a bright light in everyone’s eyes, I discovered that ds2 had decided he would like a nice cold roast goose sandwich for his lunch, and hadn’t stopped to wonder whether there might be a plan for the left overs.

I lost the plot. There was shouting, tears and snot, and Dh had to take me out of the kitchen and fill be with Sherry to calm me down, before going through the fridge and assembling cold meats and salad - we had plenty of food in, but my plan said sticky Asian goose, not cold meat salad.

I do get a bit stressed in the run up to Christmas, but I didn’t need to overreact that much.

It’s become a family joke - someone always suggests a nice cold roast goose sandwich on Boxing Day - I deserve it.

*Another time I threw his dirty clothes out of the window because they were the chair and not the laundry basket.
*

It’s become a family joke - someone always suggests a nice cold roast goose sandwich on Boxing Day - I deserve it.

Lol!!

My cousins & friends have been testy at times when pregnant hormonal and overtired. It's quite normal as pregnancy (& having new babies) is this crazy influx of emotions, pain and exhaustion.

My DM once lost the plot over a bit of chocolate cake she had saved that was eaten. She is usually the MOST calm person I know. She burst into tears after shouting at us all. It wasn't about the cake, it was about when we were teens & my lovely dad, taking her for granted and how she felt like she 'did everything' and asked for little back. We still joke "don't eat Nanny's chocolate cake, you don't want to see her mad!!! "

My mum owns it and laughs at herself, but we also knew we were at fault. I wouldn't try to argue with a pregnant woman, nor new parents, if they seemed frazzled. It's a very tough time.

Oh don't worry about it OP, you should see me when I go off on one.

You're allowed the odd tantrum when pregnant.

Plenty of us have been there. I know I have and I don't always have pregnancy hormones to blame.

I am pregnant at the moment but prior to this I had terrible PMS and have been known to have many a tantrum about miniscule issues

YABVVVVVVU to play System of a Down. They suck! grin

😱