To have just thrown a tantrum

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

I am 32 weeks pregnant, bored of it and uncomfortable, and I’m not normally known for being easygoing as it is, but Christ the red mist that just descended. I don’t even know why really.

We had our passports out to send to mortgage guy. DH commented I had 9 months left on mine and would probably need a new one before I traveled abroad again. I said I wouldn’t and I could travel abroad anytime I want in the next nine months. He reminded me about the baby and about covid. I said ‘what so I can’t even go to fucking Paris on the Eurostar just because I have a baby?!’

He’s such a reasonable person that it just made it worse, I screamed that I hated everything, actually stamped my foot , he made a hasty retreat and said he was going out for a fry up, and I kicked his trainers around the room because he can’t ever fucking put them away and blasted System of a Down.

It’s a proper full on teenage rage tantrum.

(This is lighthearted and DH is not trapped in an abusive marriage and will enjoy fry up until I’m calm enough for him to return)

Make me feel better. Have you ever had a proper tantrum as an adult? (Is ‘throwing a wobbly’ an offensive term these days?!)

[Marmitemarinaded]

@EsoNoSeHace

Yes, I’ve punched the wall and tried to spit, but my mouth was too dry. DH kept telling me something that was true wasn’t true. I locked myself in the loo, but he kept shouting through the door. I came out and had a tantrum. It’s not to be recommended, but there it is.

[imamule]

it’s tough going when you’re still working 50 hour weeks with a commute

That's tough pregnant or not.

[ginnybag]

Hate to say it, but he's right. You might well have to admit that he was right, in addition to needing to apologise for the tantrum.

6 months min for France - on the date of return.

When are you planning to travel?

[Theuselessone]

Omg. People are so up themselves on this thread. I'm also pregnant and have been in full on body sobs over a bagel. If it wasnt the passport it would have been something else. Your DH will be grand and if he's any wit will bring chocolate as a sacrificial offering. Joys of pending motherhood. Get on all the old teenage hits and write that you hate your parents in a fluffy journal. Im with you.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

@IsolaPribby

What's blasted System of a Down?

I appreciate it's probably a typo or predictive text, but can't figure out what it's meant to be?

it's only THE best band ever. They are amaazing the way they address certain political things like wars

[StrawberrySquash]

I'm also going to be that person and say you need 6 months on the passport, and if the office issued it early so that it was valid for a bit more than ten years, that no longer counts. It's now 10 years from date to issue. And then 6 months needed. So passports now only last 9y and 6m from issue. Just putting it here because people are finding out when they get to the airport.

Sorry OP! Hope you enjoy your fry up and are cuddling a gorgeous baby before too long.

[Ponoka7]

He's right about the passport. You'll have four months on it before you will feel like traveling again and realistically we are going to get an explosion of cases over winter, across Europe. I'm sure your neighbours enjoyed the blasting heavy metal. Time to grow up.

[MirandaWest]

@IsolaPribby

What's blasted System of a Down?

I appreciate it's probably a typo or predictive text, but can't figure out what it's meant to be?

I think she was playing music by System of a Down. Loudly.

[EsoNoSeHace]

@imamule

Yes, I’ve punched the wall and tried to spit, but my mouth was too dry.

Lovely

Just trying to help.

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

@Theuselessone thank you for the support!

Honestly.

Lots of chilled perfect women out there clearly (only on Mumsnet 🙄)

I’m sure my (not even there) neighbours can cope with some music playing for an hour or so in the middle of the day at the weekend.

[imamule]

Just trying to help.

😆

[IsolaPribby]

I've honestly never heard of System of a Down before. Have Googled them, and now satisfied that I know as much as I need to!

[Kanaloa]

Personally I wouldn’t do this because I couldn’t accept it if my husband screamed at me and kicked things around the house, so I wouldn’t do it either.

Appreciate that you were very upset though, I’m sure if you apologise he will accept it.

[feelingmehtoday]

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Mmm no ok 32 weeks isn’t that close to actually giving birth but it’s tough going when you’re still working 50 hour weeks with a commute and not getting much sleep…

The third trimester is brutal. And it feels never ending. I remember it well. You have my sympathy, OP. I recall random tears at random moments about random shit.

[ilovesooty]

Glad you're planning to apologise because he was right about the passport.

[icedcoffees]

@IsolaPribby

What's blasted System of a Down?

I appreciate it's probably a typo or predictive text, but can't figure out what it's meant to be?

System of a Down are a band.

[Champagneforeveryone]

Oh dear OP, I don't think some folk got the lighthearted bit

FWIW I am exceptionally laid back but did once have a tantrum that is never spoken of. Due back after the Christmas holidays to a job I hated (but was super convenient for school runs etc so I stuck with it) to find that the sun roof in my extremely tatty car had leaked. I had been telling DH for months that it needed sealing up but he hadn't done it. After part one of my tantrum, DH stood there like a survivor from some terrible disaster, then offered to get me a carrier bag to sit on.

We got a new car a couple months later

[SirGawain]

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@Marmitemarinaded is that actually a blanket rule or just recommend by certain countries (clutches at straws)[/quote]
I’m not sure who imposes the rule but the two companies that we travel with insist on six months validity on passports on scheduled return date.

[MummBraTheEverLeaking]

I had a one when DD was 5 months, we had a welcome ceremony and a party afterwards. It was one of the hottest days of the year and I was frazzled. Everything was running behind, I wanted to look nice for once instead of a knackered mess.
I love to plan stuff, so had the order of the day all sorted in my head.

We darted to the party venue to deposit the food, darted to the ceremony hall, I rushed into the toilet to do my make up and hair, sweating my arse off before people arrived. All went well (but quite rushed as everyone was sweating buckets too)

DD wanted a feed afterwards so we stuck around for a bit while people made their way to the party. We got there, still with bits in the car to get out and while someone came out to help unload mentioned my mum had started getting food out.

Food was not meant to be out yet. And I lost it. Had a big rant about how I'd sorted everything, I had a plan, why had she come in and taken over? And before I knew it I had stamped my foot too

I darted in preparing to whip everything back into the kitchen in full on banshee mode. Only to find it wasn't "food" my mum had bought out. It was nibbles for the tables I had a wine, snapped out of being a brat and had a lovely day.

Looking back, I was still coming to grips with motherhood, but I didn't want people to think I couldn't handle it or that I wasnt capable of doing everything myself perfectly like some sort of bloody superwoman. It was a everything coming to a head after putting so much pressure on myself to do it all.

[MummBraTheEverLeaking]

SOAD are perfect for blasting out for frustration

[MoiraRose4]

God some people just have no empathy or compassion or any basic understanding do they?! Go ahead and tantrum - you obviously recognise it wasn’t entirely rational, but we’re all human. Most of us anyway 🙄

[Taoneusa]

I hope he comes back with your favorite chocolate, op! COVID, brexit, pregnancy, passport new rules..GAH!
Big hugs needed and maybe a few tears to be shed about it all.

for both of you!

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

@MummBraTheEverLeaking

You paint such a good picture telling that story! The tantrum was entirely understandable.

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

@SiSiSi

Claps for you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻