To have just thrown a tantrum

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

I am 32 weeks pregnant, bored of it and uncomfortable, and I’m not normally known for being easygoing as it is, but Christ the red mist that just descended. I don’t even know why really.

We had our passports out to send to mortgage guy. DH commented I had 9 months left on mine and would probably need a new one before I traveled abroad again. I said I wouldn’t and I could travel abroad anytime I want in the next nine months. He reminded me about the baby and about covid. I said ‘what so I can’t even go to fucking Paris on the Eurostar just because I have a baby?!’

He’s such a reasonable person that it just made it worse, I screamed that I hated everything, actually stamped my foot , he made a hasty retreat and said he was going out for a fry up, and I kicked his trainers around the room because he can’t ever fucking put them away and blasted System of a Down.

It’s a proper full on teenage rage tantrum.

(This is lighthearted and DH is not trapped in an abusive marriage and will enjoy fry up until I’m calm enough for him to return)

Make me feel better. Have you ever had a proper tantrum as an adult? (Is ‘throwing a wobbly’ an offensive term these days?!)

[daphnedoo12]

Haha op I feel your pain. I couldn't get out of the bed to reach my gaviscon in the early hours because I was so big and uncomfortable (37 weeks) and started crying, poor DH had no idea what was happening

[1990s]

MY FUCKING GOD. < there's my tantrum, at all the people on this thread who are absolute fucking saints, who never have a bad day, and are perfect in every way.

We all have our off days, the OPs husband seems to get it, part of any relationship is supporting the other person when they are struggling! Whatever form that takes!

What happened to be kind?

[daphnedoo12]

Pregnancy is hard and the hormones are unbelievable. Take no notice of nasty posters OP c

[Strokethefurrywall]

I’m pretty sure you can still travel to the US with less than 6 months on your passport, they have an agreement with UK that the British passport only needs to be valid for the duration of your stay.

So that bit was right….

[Pinkclarko]

You were unreasonable to assume people would take it in the manner in which it was intended, rather than an opportunity to give you a good kicking. Not sure what they think can be gained by lecturing you. Honestly forget them, and forget about it too!

[breadbinbaby]

OP, from a pregnant woman with a toddler currently waiting for a new passport - send off for yours today. They’re taking up to ten weeks because of Covid (apparently) and you don’t want to be stressing about it when you’re even more sleep deprived with a newborn. You have my sympathies, I’m getting to the feeling-like-crying-without-knowing-why stage.

[user16395699]

@TheGumption

I really hate the "I'm pregnant and a tiny bit abusive, aren't I goofy" threads.
Fair enough, have a cry over a bagel but it's embarrassing to see pregnancy used as an excuse to behave like a psychopath.

Completely agree. People empathise and have compassion about feeling intense emotions, nobody is required to be empathetic or compassionate about abusive behaviour.

Behaviour is a choice. If you behave poorly, people will hold you to account.

Pregnancy is not a licence to behave poorly or abusively. Doing so is not funny. Boasting about it is not lighthearted.

People manage to go through life-threatening situations like chemo and preparing for impending major life-changing surgery whilst also working and commuting which takes a heavy emotional and physical toll - you don't see them proudly sharing examples of nasty and abusive behaviour like they're excused from basic decency and it's ever so funny.

[Abitlostrightnow]

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@Abitlostrightnow

God no, you’re right. I might go from mildly kicking a trainer round the room (DH wasn’t actually there then by the way and who hasn’t lost it a bit at times when people just don’t put their stuff away so it’s out to be tripped over)

To kicking a baby round when I get a bit cross [/quote]
Not suggesting you'd kick your baby at all. Suggesting it's not healthy to be doing that with a baby around. Hope you're feeling better now

[Taoneusa]

Here’s a thing though, when we have tantrums we apologise and if we’re lucky those around us are able to remain warm hearted and have a laugh about the loss of perspective and outburst, afterwards.
It’s like there’s a known way to respond to tantrums, even if we don’t feel at all comfortable during the thunder and lightning.

But how about The Frost, which to my mind is the other end of the spectrum. My mother and ex - husband were both the type to go tight lipped and avoid eye contact…. I actually don’t know how to handle chilly mortals who prefer control over a burst of fireworks. Once the ice starts forming, the sun disappears. Everyone gets annoyed and exasperated, we just don’t all handle it the same.

[TheGumption]

I love it. We're so horrible and nasty but women who spit, scream, shout, kick things around are fine 😂 cracking.

[Confiscatedpopit]

The latter posters on here are all talking like those who don’t find it funny have never themselves been pregnant! It isn’t a free pass to let your emotions rule you and behave how you want and expect others to find it ‘funny’. I think the OP has behaved like a total viper this morning and is clearly proud of it 😳 why you are all congratulating and applauding her is odd to me.

OP you are immensely lucky your husband seems the patient sort. I don’t for one second believe that this is a one off.

[Boysnme]

Misses the point of the thread but on your passport, the EU only accept a passport with validity within 10 years. So if you had extra time added to your passport if you ever renewed it early, that time isn’t valid. Worth a check if you are going away (appreciate you are not likely to be!)

Plus, tantrums happen!

[user16395699]

@Pinkclarko

You were unreasonable to assume people would take it in the manner in which it was intended, rather than an opportunity to give you a good kicking. Not sure what they think can be gained by lecturing you. Honestly forget them, and forget about it too!

Here's a thought, maybe people don't find boasting about abusive behaviour entertaining.

If a man started a "lighthearted" thread about kicking off at his wife because England lost the football and " ha ha isn't it so funny I was so upset about the football I lost control and abused my wife", would you be saying posters had to go along with his perception of that abuse as hilariously lighthearted?

Doubt it.

[tara66]

You should wait for a better reason to throw a tantrum - like having to walk to filling station with a tin can to get petrol and back home again when 9 months pregnant because DH has emptied the car's tank and you have to collect kids from school.

[SofiaMichelle]

Completely agree @user16395699

Vile behaviour is vile behaviour. There's nothing funny or cutesy about blaming pregnancy for it.

[SofiaMichelle]

@Tiana4

Who are you to tell people to ignore other posters?

Everyone - ignore @Tiana4 because I don't agree with her.

[Peachee]

Yeh I’m 30 weeks and throw strips on the regular. I have a personality transplant when I’m pregnant. I’m vile. My family and DP have shields at the ready..

[Confiscatedpopit]

tiana4- stick to defending those who deserve it. if your son was the OP’s husband are you sure you’d be quite so accepting of this? I’d be bloody applauding him for being so calm dealing with this crap if he was mine. I’d also be supportive if he had enough and wanted out if it wasn’t a one off.

I’d say the same if it was one of my daughters.

Nothing funny about it. We’ve all had moments where emotions have ruled us but I’d be embarrassed about this- not boasting about it on the Internet in an effort to ‘entertain’ people.

[JudgeJ]

Why is it considered OK to use the mere fact of being pregnant to behave in a totally ridiculous way?

[Peachee]

**strops

[casualnamechange]

It’s absolutely insane that a PP has suggested that your husband should “get you some treats” in response to your behaviour.

Fine, hormones are terrible and it’s not a huge deal but the idea that he should reward you for this is laughable.

[CityCommuter]

@SmidgenofaPigeon sorry but your post isn't 'light hearted' at all... you sound like one of those people who is highly strung who's always ready to flip regardless of being pregnant or not so please don't use pregnancy as an excuse. Frankly I'd be worried about a newborn baby's safety with your temper and I'd say your poor DH is thinking the same tbh... FFS what will you be like with a new baby crying, colic, teething, sleepless nights etc if this is how you are now?

[ancientgran]

I threw a tantrum as I was wheeled back to the ward after EMCS. I heard midwife from delivery team telling the midwife from the ward that'd I'd had a little girl which was lovely as I already had boys. I said, "I had a boy." Totally ridiculous as I'd had a GA and had no idea what I'd had.

She said, "No it is a girl."

I shrieked at them, "I don't have girls, I have boys and it is a boy."

She said, "Okay it's a boy."

God knows what was going on in my head.

[CityCommuter]

Even in your 1st paragraph you say "I’m not normally known for being easygoing as it is, but Christ the red mist that just descended".