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Original poster

To ask your favourite ways to waste scammers’ time

201 replies

Chouxchou · 30/07/2021 21:53

I had a call today which was a recorded message telling me my national insurance number was going to be deleted (Grin?) unless I paid some kind of fine or some shit. I had the option of pressing 9 to speak to an ‘agent’ but I was on my way out so just hung up. Please give me some creative ideas to waste the maximum amount of their time if they call back. I would like to think I am doing someone more vulnerable a favour by keeping these arseholes on the phone to me for as long as possible.

OP posts:
clickychicky · 30/07/2021 21:55

Say ill just go and get my husband he deals with the money then make some noises like you are looking for him and then just leave them hanging for ageeees

XenoBitch · 30/07/2021 21:56

I wish I had the balls to do it, but there was some radio station that pranked a scam caller. They picked up the phone and pretended they were at the crime scene of the murder of the person the scammers were calling. It was brilliant!

Blindleadingtheblind · 30/07/2021 21:57

We used to get scammers call the work phone years ago. We used to have competitions to see who could keep them on the phone the longest and waste their time.

More recently my brother was at my house. A scammer called me about 'the accident I was involved in' so I played along, describing in detail how I lost limbs including my own head, and my bowels exploded and they hung up. My brother was just staring at me like WTF?

I like to make sure they never bother calling back.

3scape · 30/07/2021 21:59

I've got my 5 year old to talk to.them about his favourite topic while I "go and get" someone.

CaveMum · 30/07/2021 22:00

My husband usually just keeps repeating “I don’t speak English. I don’t understand you.” until they hang up.

Personally I just hang up on them.

Ive heard of people handing the phone to their young child to babble away until the scammer loses the will to live.

H8o8 · 30/07/2021 22:00

Just hand the phone to a 5 year old and tell them Santa is on the phone asking for their Christmas list.

GrouchyKiwi · 30/07/2021 22:00

My sister passes the phone to one of her (very talkative) children.

One of my flatmates answered the phone to a double-glazing company and told them he didn't have any windows. The person on the other end was so baffled by this that she wanted to know more, so he said it was because he lived in a cave. She kept talking to him for about 10 minutes. Grin

VanillaIce1 · 30/07/2021 22:01

@Blindleadingtheblind My own head 😂😂

Original poster
Chouxchou · 30/07/2021 22:04

I love these. I always give the car accident ones a really long, detailed, rambling story which culminates in my death

OP posts:
ForensicAccountant · 30/07/2021 22:05

Oh yes please delete it - I am paying way to much National Insurance

user1471453601 · 30/07/2021 22:05

Well, if it was a recorded message to begin with (many I receive are) there is nothing you can do to waste their time.

If it's a person on the other end, there is plenty of things to do. My favourite came about by accident. I answered and said hello, no reply, this happened three times, so if said hello three times. This put me in mind of the musical hall song. So I followed up with "whose your lady friend". I "sang" all the words to that I knew. Then I started singing a Tom Jones song. When that finished, I asked if they had any requests. The bloke on the other end was laughing so much he couldn't speak.

To be clear, I cannot sing, at all. My DD in the room next door said She thought her ears would start bleeding. Im that bad I watched the tv programme on BBC with some people who can/cannot sing. I really cannot tell the difference.

Standrewsschool · 30/07/2021 22:06

I had the same person ring me up every day for a week. I turned the tables on them, and asked about the company she worked for, who they were, what they did etc. I did all the asking. She got fed up eventually.

I’ve heard other people just put the phone down on the side so they’re talking to no-one.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 30/07/2021 22:07

DH has started making farm yard animal noises down the phone to them. One was genuinely baffled by the mooing the other day, that DH managed to moo at him for about 2 minutes!

My favourite one was when they tried selling me solar panels. I asked a lot of details, discussed different options, got prices, asked about finance options. Then asked if they could call back after we’d spoken with the upstairs neighbour.

TaVeryMuchLove · 30/07/2021 22:08

Keep saying you can’t hear them at random intervals. Oh, and don’t forget to throw in a few “hello? Hello? Can you hear me?” Every few seconds.

LindaEllen · 30/07/2021 22:08

@Blindleadingtheblind

We used to get scammers call the work phone years ago. We used to have competitions to see who could keep them on the phone the longest and waste their time.

More recently my brother was at my house. A scammer called me about 'the accident I was involved in' so I played along, describing in detail how I lost limbs including my own head, and my bowels exploded and they hung up. My brother was just staring at me like WTF?

I like to make sure they never bother calling back.

Haha I do exactly this, pretend I was seriously injured 😂 I mean, it's probably wrong.. but they started it!
BitterTits · 30/07/2021 22:09

Does anyone else constantly get calls for Mrs Lewis?

Blindleadingtheblind · 30/07/2021 22:10

It is fun to wind them up. There's truth in the saying 'don't kid a kidder'.

Original poster
Chouxchou · 30/07/2021 22:13

Yeah I think the trick is to not give the game away too early. I might take it to the point where I go to give my card number and they’re all happy that they’ve nearly got me and then I just say 1098…7654…321…fuck off

OP posts:
omgthepain · 30/07/2021 22:14

I just put the phone next to a very LOUD radio

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 30/07/2021 22:21

I decided to play with a scammer - I was waiting for a train and was bored - so I said I was really glad they’d called because I HAD been in an accident.

By the time I got to the bit where I’d backed one of my cars - a Lamborghini - into the other - a Ferrari - and not only had my Bengal Tiger been injured in the crash but some of the diamonds in his tiara had been damaged, she hung up. Still, all the time she was in the phone to me she wasn’t bothering someone who might fall for her bullshit.

beccahamlet · 30/07/2021 22:23

They are human beings who are doing What must be a really horrid job. I try to be polite and kind to them.

XenoBitch · 30/07/2021 22:26

@beccahamlet

They are human beings who are doing What must be a really horrid job. I try to be polite and kind to them.
That is true. They are probably in that role to avoid their country's equivalent of Job Centre sanctions.
Bargebill19 · 30/07/2021 22:27

Blow a proper whistle down the phone. Does the trick very nicely. Need a proper football type whistle though.

Original poster
Chouxchou · 30/07/2021 22:28

@beccahamlet I have zero sympathy for those trying to steal from vulnerable people

OP posts:
Blindleadingtheblind · 30/07/2021 22:31

Yeah they are human beings, who try and exploit other human beings. I'm not talking about sales people who try to sell solar panels or double glazing ( although they too can rip many people off). But those who go out to try and either get your identity or your bank account details. I have zero sympathy for them.