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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask your favourite ways to waste scammers’ time

201 replies

Chouxchou · 30/07/2021 21:53

I had a call today which was a recorded message telling me my national insurance number was going to be deleted (?) unless I paid some kind of fine or some shit. I had the option of pressing 9 to speak to an ‘agent’ but I was on my way out so just hung up. Please give me some creative ideas to waste the maximum amount of their time if they call back. I would like to think I am doing someone more vulnerable a favour by keeping these arseholes on the phone to me for as long as possible.

OP posts:

Blindleadingtheblind · 30/07/2021 22:33

"I'm calling regarding your recent accident...". I can see how an elderly person may get easily confused by statements like this.

OhRene · 30/07/2021 22:36

My personal favourite is the clearly foreign "John" or "Richard" or "Peter" etc who call from the company, Windows to tell me that my PC has notified them of a virus. Of course they're too damn stupid to pretend they're calling from Microsoft instead of Microsoft's product.

I ooh and aah, sounding all worried and let them walk me through the tedious process of secretly giving them access to my computer to be remotely controlled, killed or mined of data. I get them to repeat instructions, pretending to be a dithery fool who can't so much as operate a tv remote. When they get really frustrated when they still have no access at the end I tell them it's a black screen.

They usually get really angry when I finish up with a "So should I try turning it on and trying this again to see if it helps then?"

The longer I'm making them tear their hair out, the less time they have to be scamming someone.

Original poster

Chouxchou · 30/07/2021 22:37

@Blindleadingtheblind exactly. These aren’t people with jobs, they’re criminals.

OP posts:

belimoo · 30/07/2021 22:39

I also have no sympathy for people who are trying to con others out of their money. It's such an unbelievably shit way to spend your day.

Last time a woman called me to tell me my broadband had issues and they needed to change my payment plan (clearly a lie), I asked her whether she was proud of her work and how she was choosing to spend her time. She acted confused at first but then hung up.

I doubt it made a difference but I don't know how these people can live with themselves.

FatAnkles · 30/07/2021 22:41

I don't know how they knew (did the hospital sell his details??) but after breaking his wrist on private property during his work duties DH was plagued by these people, for years. He used to give the phone to our daughter but she's grown up now and refuses to play along . So now he just chats s**t to them and eventually they make their excuses and hang up.

OhRene · 30/07/2021 22:43

@Bargebill19

Blow a proper whistle down the phone. Does the trick very nicely. Need a proper football type whistle though.

Most call centres have an automatic shut off for noises above a certain volume. The scammers don't hear it. It doesn't work unless it's a very old operation with outdated equipment.

And for the person who said they're just people doing their job. They're scammers and know what they're doing is wrong and illegal. Yes some probably are just workers who get paid a pittance but many of those callers are actually members of the criminal gang profiteering from it. Neither get any sympathy from me.

ShortColdandGrey · 30/07/2021 22:44

My husband apologies and says someone has just knocked on the door. He then asks if they can hold on for a minute. If they say yes he puts Slayer on and the phone to the speaker. He then times how long before they hang up.

StripyHorse · 30/07/2021 22:48

My dad tells me that my grandma (who died over 10 years ago) was great at keeping them on the line, she just played on the dotty old lady card asking loads of questions, like 'when do I get my cheque then?' ... ' well, you said you are going to save me money on my gas bill (or whatever) so I assume you are sending me a cheque?' and so on.

Mpsister · 30/07/2021 22:49

I tell them that they've phoned trading standards and I'd like to get some more information from them. They just hang up

MostlyNormalSometimesOdd · 30/07/2021 22:49

"Hello, our records show you've been involved in an accident"

"Oh yes, it was horrible, he just slipped and landed on the carving knife. Or, at least that's what I told them, but between you and me he was passing me off so much".....

Learningatmyownpace · 30/07/2021 22:49

@beccahamlet

They are human beings who are doing What must be a really horrid job. I try to be polite and kind to them.

They're scamming people out of money. Op isn't talking about cold callers

Sh05 · 30/07/2021 22:51

I love the accident claims one. I confused one caller so much when I told him I couldn't give him details cos the other driver was a celebrity and we'd signed a disclaimer. He told me he'd call back once he'd consulted his manager but never did. I was actually driving at the time and my car picked up the call ( nothing fancy, but my Seat connects to my Phone by blue tooth) and we were doing a long journey. The call kept my teens entertained for nearly half an hour as they could hear everything on loudspeaker.
I was bluffing and making it up as I went along but these callers are so desperate to try and scam you they'll believe nearly anything.

Sh05 · 30/07/2021 22:57

They insist they're calling from the uk but their manner of speaking is definitely not that of the UK and they have the Indian twang to their accent. Not being racist as we are Indian.
I can tell straight away theyr scammers because years ago on a scam call I gave a mishmash of a postcode, number 13 as my door number and greater Manchester as my street name and I'd like to think that anyone claiming they're calling from Lincoln, for example, would know that greater Manchester is a whole region and not a street name.
This is the combination of address all the scammers want me to confirm as mine before they start asking other questions.

Blindleadingtheblind · 30/07/2021 23:00

They usually get really angry when I finish up with a "So should I try turning it on and trying this again to see if it helps then?"

Brilliant, I'm stealing this trick 😂

Blindleadingtheblind · 30/07/2021 23:02

I get calls from 'Windows' with the scammer telling me I have a virus on my PC etc. Quickest way I get rid of them is by telling them I dont own a PC, i own a Mac. Which is true but I just love how it shuts the shit down right away.

Dogoodfeelgood · 30/07/2021 23:03

@Blindleadingtheblind

We used to get scammers call the work phone years ago. We used to have competitions to see who could keep them on the phone the longest and waste their time.

More recently my brother was at my house. A scammer called me about 'the accident I was involved in' so I played along, describing in detail how I lost limbs including my own head, and my bowels exploded and they hung up. My brother was just staring at me like WTF?

I like to make sure they never bother calling back.

😂😂😂

Belledan1 · 30/07/2021 23:05

I pressed the option to speak to them the other day as had enough of calls and pretended I was the police. They hung up lol. I know someone who had had cancer and a random life insurance called. She told them couldn't get new insurance and would stick with the one she has pre illness and they asked her if had sorted their funeral out!!

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 30/07/2021 23:12

There's a guy on YouTube who replies to scam emails and strings them along as long as possible. Worth a look if you have some time to kill. His name is James Veitch.

MaryGubbins · 30/07/2021 23:18

“No, it wasn’t an accident - I really meant to run over that old lady.”

AnnaSW1 · 30/07/2021 23:19

@Chouxchou you should read this really great book called 'greetings in Jesus name' which is written by a scammer baiter. It's
hilarious

SynchroSwimmer · 30/07/2021 23:21

I announce myself as “Bullshire Police Headquarters” (it’s a spoof Facebook page), I sound very authoritative and ask if they want to be put through to “Fraud” or “Counter-Terrorism” - and just repeat until they hang up.

(I did accidentally do it to a legitimate company, who seemed ultra nervous when they dropped off my actual delivery 😂)

Also if the mood takes me, answering in a foreign language is often amusing...

SionnachRua · 30/07/2021 23:22

@UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa

There's a guy on YouTube who replies to scam emails and strings them along as long as possible. Worth a look if you have some time to kill. His name is James Veitch.

+1 for this guy, he's so funny.

There's another guy on YouTube called Jim Browning who gets scammers info and hauls them over the coals. A different angle to take than James but also really fun to watch.

underneaththeash · 30/07/2021 23:28

@beccahamlet they are scamming vulnerable people!

Chloemol · 30/07/2021 23:30

@beccahamlet

And they are fully aware that what they are doing is scamming, I have no sympathy

atlastifoundit · 30/07/2021 23:37

@Blindleadingtheblind

With these ones, it helps if you tell them that you have three computers so which one might it be? Then you can get them hanging on for ages, while you find all the laptops, find the chargers, start them up and so on and so on. Then of course you can tell them that one won't switch on at all, one has started an automatic update and is still at 1%, and the third one needs a password that you can't remember. You bought it from a bloke down the pub last week and he did tell you a password but it doesn't seem to be working...

Or you could always tell them that they've come through to the incident room at the Biggleswade police station, it is a secure line for police use only and you want to know how they got the number.

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