Page 8 | Is this holiday going to be a bit shit or am I just being fussy?

Whatafustercluck · 01/08/2021 07:52

We were able to put ds down in his buggy until he was about 1yo and go out in the evening with him sleeping soundly. We enjoyed lots of nice evening meals on holiday as a result. But it doesn't last forever and dd was a different baby, way too alert/ nosy/ sensitive.

But having shared a room with our then 9yo and 3yo for just one night last year while we travelled to France, there is no way in hell I'd share one room with them ever again. So yanbu, at all.

ChelleMum85 · 01/08/2021 08:31

@AngeloMysterioso

DH, DS and I are due to go away for 4 nights at the beginning of September. It’ll be our first trip anywhere since having DS who will be 22 months old. DH, being master of coin in the family, went ahead and booked the accommodation without really seeking any input from me (I did at the time suggest an Airbnb would be the most practical thing, advice he apparently did not heed), and only told me after he’d booked it- he said it was a hotel over the road from the beach, the room is on the first floor and there’s no lift which will be a bit of a pain but not the end of the world (his words, not mine).

I’ve just looked it up this evening. DH booked the biggest room we could afford, thinking it would mean more space- what it actually means is more beds, a double, a single and a foldaway- DS sleeps in a travel cot which we’re going to have to fit in somewhere. I will be 27 weeks pregnant so sleeping in a double bed (particularly when we’re used to being in a king size) is going to be a bit cramped! He also neglected to consider the fact that DS goes to sleep in a dark room with his white noise playing at around 7:30 pm- this room has no living space or a sofa or anything, so every evening once DS is asleep is going to be spent sitting on a bed in the dark a few feet away, trying not to wake him up. Not exactly relaxing.

When I pointed all this out to DH he got all huffy and defensive, saying I should have pointed this out when he was booking it (I mean why the hell should I have to? He’s as much a parent and an adult as I am!). I had a look for alternative options but it’s only 5 weeks away now so everywhere is either booked up or way too expensive- I found an Airbnb which looked reasonable and appeared to only cost slightly more per night, but when I went to reserve it the cleaning and service fees came to more than £100, so in total it would be a 40% increase which is just too much.

DH is all pissed off now and saying I should just book the Airbnb anyway despite the extra cost because I’m only going to be moaning all the time otherwise, which I feel is a bit unfair- I’m only pointing out stuff he should have thought of in the first place. AIBU?

Some of you create a rod for your own back with these sleep routines.

It's a holiday, throw the routine out the window. I'm sure baby Will sleep at some point or be safe chatting to themselves in said cot.

You're 27 weeks pregnant, you don't need a King size bed to sleep. A double bed is fine. I managed it on all 3 of mine and the last one I had 42cm of water in my womb so I was a whale.

I think your husband was being thoughtful. Might want to sound more grateful and look at what you do have, not what you don't.

Thesearmsofmine · 01/08/2021 08:43

I’d go, it will be fine. We’ve always stayed in hotels with dc and just relax the routine and let them stay up later. At one point we stayed in a hotel room with 3 dc aged 1-6 years and it was fine.
A double bed is also fine, I’m not sure what the issue is with that tbh!

Neverrains · 01/08/2021 09:12

Some of you create a rod for your own back with these sleep routines

For many of us, there has no reason not to be in a routine with our toddlers over the past 18 months as there has been nowhere to go. Yeah I guess we could have randomly kept ours up until 10pm at home one evening and put him to sleep in his pushchair in the kitchen while we ate dinner next to him just so he didn’t get used to going to bed in his own room at the same time every night, but it would have been a bit weird. So regardless of our intentions, he has got used to going to sleep in his own bed at the same time every night.

Blondebakingmumma · 01/08/2021 09:24

How big is the bathroom. Can you fit your son in there?

Yourcatisnotsorry · 01/08/2021 09:29

Yanbu as he should have discussed with you but it sounds fine. Leave all your beach stuff and pushchair in the car so you can grab it in the morning when you go out and not have to cart up the stairs.
Dh has the single you get the big double all to yourself.
Ds stays up a bit later as you are on hols, someone goes for a walk/drink while the other snuggles him to bed. Then watch a movie/have a bath/early night since you are pregnant and probably need the sleep anyway. We go away a lot and while I like to book a house/2 bed it’s honestly fine in a family room.

Summerbreeze4 · 01/08/2021 10:23

On my experience men never think through the practical aspects especially regarding children, but why on earth let him bok something without you seeing it. If you sleep in a king size you need that as a minimum, no extra beds and ideally adjoining rooms.

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 01/08/2021 10:40

Honestly, I think you’re being quite harsh on him. It’s not necessarily the most obvious thing to think of and loads of people are flexible with kids sleeping arrangements and make do on holiday.
We’ve never had a separate room from the kids when we go away and it’s still enjoyable.

We either all go to bed early…. DH and I will either get lots of sleep, watch a film with earphones or read on iPads. Or we let the kids stay up late and then they’re so tired they crash quite quickly once in bed.

It’s different, inconvenient and can be a real pain at times. But it certainly doesn’t ruin the holiday!

Bollindger · 01/08/2021 11:20

Being trapped in a room from 7.30 is silly, just take baby out in pram. Take him for a walk at 7.30 and see if you can get him to drop off. Baby headphones with the white noise will help. Get the ones that block out extra sounds. Then just have a late dinner once he drops off. Hubby will have to carry pram up stairs. Honest see it as family time, and put it down to lesson learnt by hubby. It's only a problem if YOU make it one.

Zombiemum1946 · 01/08/2021 11:32

As others say, book the air bnb. If he's cheered up enough, look at them together.

Oblomov21 · 01/08/2021 11:33

Why. Just why. Would you not look when Dh suggested it? It's a major decision and both need to review and agree.

Youmeandourthree · 01/08/2021 11:44

In fairness he’s probably a bit like mine and doesn’t really think through the practicalities! He may have thought it would be a nice break for you to go to a hotel rather than self catering. If you go you may well find the excitement of the beach and being somewhere else tires your son out, or do things differently for a few days, stories then cuddle up to go to sleep (then you get to watch t.v quietly) or stay up later for a meal, walk or watching a bedtime programme. Kids generally are more adaptable than we expect. If you do change it for the ABB decide together and plan for that to be easier, too tip-get Asda to deliver essentials after you check in! My other half usually leaves the choosing holidays to me-I narrow it down to an area and a few accommodations and then we look at it together and he works out the logistics like travelling times, ferry/flight times etc and travel insurance type stuff is his department too!!. And he’s allowed to put his clothes out on the bed for checking before packing 😉 (I also have a holiday list that I print off to check things as I pack that’s developed over years of forgetting stuff 😂). Came in really handy this year when I wasn’t well so he had to pack everything!) enjoy your holiday whichever you go to.

DIYandEatCake · 01/08/2021 12:26

It might not be as bad as you expect - we’ve done plenty of travelodge stays with toddlers and there are ways to make it bearable. Take phones or iPads if you have them, and chargers, so you can read while your son goes to sleep. After he’s asleep, you can put the lights on low and read/play games/chat/eat secret chocolate. Keep him up as late as you can, so you don’t lose too much of your evening - if you have a pushchair, you could let him sleep in there and go for a walk/beachside drink. You might find that being in a different place, you can get away with a different routine (and he’ll be that knackered from all the fresh air, he’ll just crash at the end of the day).

Hardbackwriter · 01/08/2021 13:08

I'm sorry to lower the tone but no one else has mentioned this - isn't it also a bit shit to go on a holiday where there is absolutely no prospect of having sex with your partner? There are lots of reasons why we've only had holidays where we book apartments/houses so we have separate sleeping and living spaces since having children but that's definitely one of them!

userxx · 01/08/2021 13:26

@Hardbackwriter

I'm sorry to lower the tone but no one else has mentioned this - isn't it also a bit shit to go on a holiday where there is absolutely no prospect of having sex with your partner? There are lots of reasons why we've only had holidays where we book apartments/houses so we have separate sleeping and living spaces since having children but that's definitely one of them!

Quickie in the bathroom. Job done ✔️

HaveringWavering · 01/08/2021 17:46

@Hardbackwriter

I'm sorry to lower the tone but no one else has mentioned this - isn't it also a bit shit to go on a holiday where there is absolutely no prospect of having sex with your partner? There are lots of reasons why we've only had holidays where we book apartments/houses so we have separate sleeping and living spaces since having children but that's definitely one of them!

There was a MASSIVE thread about this a few months ago - a DH was moaning about a no sex holiday to Disney and the wife who had booked the room was asking if he was BU. It contained some truly grim tales of bathroom shagging.

HaveringWavering · 01/08/2021 17:47

@AngeloMysterioso are you coming back to tell us what you decided to do?

Original poster

AngeloMysterioso · 01/08/2021 19:02

We switched to the Airbnb in the end. It’s also only a stones throw from the beach, it isn’t perfect (no parking so will have to park a short walk away) but on balance seemed like the more sensible option!

OP posts:

Tessabelle74 · 01/08/2021 19:51

YABU only because training a child to require pitch dark and white noise to sleep is asking for trouble. With number 2 make as much noise as humanly possible then you can have a life too

Hardbackwriter · 01/08/2021 19:57

@Tessabelle74

YABU only because training a child to require pitch dark and white noise to sleep is asking for trouble. With number 2 make as much noise as humanly possible then you can have a life too

Again, I don't understand what you mean by 'training' here? Do you mean 'I made noise and my babies slept through it', in which case surely you did no training, they just were happy to sleep somewhere noisy? Or did they wake up to noise and you just let them get woken up over and over again for days/weeks/months until they 'learned' not to wake? Does anyone really, honestly do the latter?

Wheresmrpenguin · 01/08/2021 20:13

Completely understand, its been like a full time job trying to find something suitable for us for the exact same conditions. Managed to find a caravan in the middle of nowhere, it's far from anywhere but at least we can relax when DD -(toddler) goes to bed

Tessabelle74 · 01/08/2021 20:22

@Hardbackwriter the OP has done the training, not me. Babies will sleep anywhere, with lots of noise for the most part if that's what you get them used to. If you keep them in complete darkness with white noise however, then any noise becomes an issue and will wake them.

Hardbackwriter · 01/08/2021 20:30

[quote Tessabelle74]@Hardbackwriter the OP has done the training, not me. Babies will sleep anywhere, with lots of noise for the most part if that's what you get them used to. If you keep them in complete darkness with white noise however, then any noise becomes an issue and will wake them.[/quote]
No, your babies slept anywhere with lots of noise. My DS2 did for about 6 weeks - slept through his brother literally playing on his drum, etc - and then he started waking up whenever there was a moderately loud noise, which is a real pain when you also have a toddler. I struggled through having a baby that was constantly screaming because he was tiny and needed sleep but was only getting 10 minutes at a time before being woken before giving in and putting him in a quieter corner with white noise on for his naps. It wasn't that I gave him a quiet environment and so that was where he learned to sleep, I gave him a quiet environment because he didn't sleep in a noisy one. Would you have just carried on with letting a newborn get into a screaming overtired mess? For how long?

Tessabelle74 · 01/08/2021 20:50

@Hardbackwriter all 4 of my babies actually. If course had they screamed, I would put them somewhere quite, but I didn't start doing that as it trains then to need that. My Dad's Mum left the radio on for him as a baby, he's nearly 70 now and can't sleep without it, great fun for him when he was in hospital for 3 weeks a few years ago!

Neverrains · 01/08/2021 21:46

[quote Tessabelle74]@Hardbackwriter the OP has done the training, not me. Babies will sleep anywhere, with lots of noise for the most part if that's what you get them used to. If you keep them in complete darkness with white noise however, then any noise becomes an issue and will wake them.[/quote]
And in the past 18 months, while most things have been closed and we haven’t been able to go anywhere, how would you imagine people did that?
I mean… I could have played musical instruments next to my toddlers bed, or made him sleep downstairs in front on the TV instead of putting him to bed, or walked him round the streets in his pushchair at bedtime so that he got used to sleeping in there instead of his bed, but quite frankly that would have been fucking weird.
My toddler is used to sleeping in his bed, in the dark, at a certain time because we haven’t been able to go anywhere.