How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

[fuckyeahpercywigwam]

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

I discussed this with a friend once and she though two years. I remember growing up my dad used to fart in front of us all and frankly I think it's fucking offensive. Complete no-no unless accidental for me.

I think all my male partners have been comfortable farting in front of me (some more than others), but I have never liked to fart in front of anyone! I'm not upset when others do it in front of me. I just don't want people to have to hear or worse, smell it, from me!

@Rockbird

Married 21 years and still do everything to avoid it. I just think it's a bit gross.

This (and it's a challenge as I have bowel disease)

@blue4you

My husband has always farted alot but since we went vegan we are both as bad as each other and my DD throws them out also

@schrodingersImmigrant
The gym is also terrible for working the out or doing some yoga 😳

I never have. I wouldn't say I'm uptight. I find mis-timed farts absolutely hilarious. I just don't want to smell the contents of my partners bowels. He feels the same way.

😁

@Greenrubber oh god yeah. Working out, especially ceryain moves I do for my lower back = butt concert

🤣

Now I’m wondering if I’m unusual in my farting habits. I think I probably only do it once or twice a day at most. I can’t remember a single time when I’ve needed to during a long car journey.

First day we met.

We’d been talking online for a while. We were sat in my room (i house shared at the time) on the bed and I realised I needed to fart. I held it in like a trooper for a fair while until I knew it was getting beyond my control. I excused myself to go to the toilet and as I stood up I caught my foot in the duvet and went flying, landing in a crumpled heap on the carpet. As I hit the floor I let out the loudest, longest, most-brewed fart I’ve ever heard. It seemed to go on and on.

When I picked myself up and looked with horror at my now-husband, he was absolutely cracking up laughing.

I knew he was the one for me.

Weeing is fine for me in front of my partner. Not pooing though, I like privacy for that.

It amazes me how many people have pushed a baby out their bits in front of their partner but won't release a bit of wind...

Also amazes me that you were all able to hide post-partum flatulence because there's no way of being discrete with that

@aquamarine1

I never do and find it totally gross and disrespectful. I honestly cannot believe previous posters that say they actual poo in front of oh? I can't think of much worse.

I agree. No one farts in front of their employer, or in a meeting, in a restaurant etc, because it's disrespectful to everyone. Why would you mot afford your DP the same level of respect? And no, it’s not the same as sneezing etc.

How do you keep a fart in? Genuine question.

He's seen me with food poisoning in a 3x3m room with a curtain for the 'bathroom' door on holiday, he's seen me post-surgery, he's nursed me through various disgusting illnesses and injuries... if a fart put him off me or vice versa I'd be very confused.

This, absolutely.

People saying how unsexy it is: it isn't supposed to be sexy, like most things in life - it's just mundane.

I would have thought that only people in the honeymoon period of a relationship would be focused on 'everything has to be sexy' and hiding the less glamorous realities of their lives, until they build up confidence and mature together - most couples realise that, whilst sex/sexiness is very important for many people, a relationship is based on a whole load of other things too. That's just what normal life is.

As has been said, if you find the thought of your spouse farting disgusting and off-putting (still not sure how a normal bodily function counts as a disgusting habit, mind), make sure you never get pregnant - or at least don't allow him anywhere near the delivery room - as the launching of an involuntary natal clinker has to be several notches up in the 'gross/unsexy' stakes than a small parp.

Farting Pearl clutchers I’ve seen it all now 🤣

@LST We don't? It's a natural body process. We treat it like we would a sneeze. No reaction

It’s the same in our house. If we have an upset stomach so it’s likely to be unpleasant we go to the bathroom.

I'm pretty sure most people who fart in front of their partners don't think it is funny or entertaining but realise it is a normal bodily function and sometimes there is no warning.

Married 27 years. I have never heard my DH fart! He can’t say the same😂

How do you keep a fart in? Genuine question.

Cat Stevens never managed to

I’m amazed people don’t fart in front of their partners/families. Genuinely didn’t know that was a thing. I don’t like holding them in at work it gives me stomach ache/makes me feel bloated so can’t imagine holding them in all the time even in bed and having to wait until I’m alone to fart. Can’t imagine long car journeys, watching a movie or being in bed all night without being able to fart.
We don’t even think about it most of the time and only comment on them if it’s particularly loud/long (funny) or smelly (but gross but never mind). I happily fart in front of my parents and kids too, and some friends.
I draw the line at pooing in front of eachother unless it’s an emergency. Doesn’t bother me that much but seems unnecessary/rare that it would need to happen most of the time. One of my friends seems to make a point of pooing in front of her husband-they always joke about how they always leave the door open or sit on the side of the bath and chat while the other poops and their morning routine is one of them showers while the other poos then they swap. Sounds like it’s a real bonding thing for them which I don’t get but each to their own.

@SunshineCake

I'm pretty sure most people who fart in front of their partners don't think it is funny or entertaining but realise it is a normal bodily function and sometimes there is no warning.

This.

Those who fart with no warning but hold it in/leave the room otherwise? What is the point?

One DP tried it. Once. About 20 years ago. I told him that if he couldn't hold it in long enough to make it to the bathroom there was clearly something medically wrong with him and he needed to seek medical attention.

11 years with DH, 8 years married.
We try and avoid doing it near each other. Some times it is unavoidable though.

But we are not easily grossed out. One year, DH, me and DS all had d&v in a euro camp caravan. Once you scoop your partner's vomit out of a tiny sink without complaint you know it's true love.

I am surprised at the amount of people that can hold it in dont fart in front of their OH. Me and dh fart in front of each other everyday. We find it funny the only time I don't is when dh literally farts on me when we're asleep and wakes me up