How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

[fuckyeahpercywigwam]

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

No idea when but probably pretty early on. Unfortunately my husband does find it hysterical and does it a lot.
Not sure why you'd need to hide farting from your partner. It's not the nicest thing in the world but it's not the worst either.

@Donelurking

Gross…disgusting… Strong words for a bodily function. Reminds me of my mother: so repressed.

This!

Sounds like a lot of posters have been reading the 1950's good housewife book.

I'm sorry but we want to be more frank and open in society about periods and the reality of birth but at the same time we have to run to a toilet to fart in case it offends our partners to the extent of ruining a sex life Did these husbands come to the birth of their children or would the sight of a ghastly agape vagina ruin their sex life too? You know because some things need to be kept private...

We keep it up long term as we don't fart much at all. And I really can't remember the last time I burped. Years ago it must be.

Well it is gross because it smells foul. If it's completely odourless then it wouldn't be a problem - just like coughing and sneezing isn't a problem so long as done discreetly, ie into a hand/elbow/tissue.

Giving birth is a rare event - less than once a year so hardly comparable with farting which, according to some of you seems to be a daily need.

If it's accidentally fair enough but why would you deliberately do it. We have more toilets than permanent residents so no need to use the toilet in front of the other either

Why are all the people who regularly fart in front of their partners upset with all the couples who don’t? 😂😂😂

Accidentally or in sleep, fine.

Deliberately? Never.

I would rather the people in shops farted than sneezed since half can't cover their mouth, tbh

I have good news Mrs @MiddlesexGirl !
Inability to burp can now be treated with Botox.
throatdisorder.com/throat-disorders/inability-to-burp/

Burps can be dangerously unpredictable. I was at the supermarket once and felt a burp coming up, thought it would be nice and discreet but then a thunderclap of a belch came out. Didn’t know where to put myself.

@PippiStocking

Why are all the people who regularly fart in front of their partners upset with all the couples who don’t? 😂😂😂

It’s not the same people (as far as I know), but it is similar to the way that the ‘get out there and party’ brigade get so angry with the ‘one step at a time’ contingent in relation to Covid restrictions. The first page of this thread starts with many of the NFs coming in with words like gross, disgusting, disrespectful and so on. There is then naturally a backlash from people who feel their way of life and hard won freedoms are under attack.

I don't unless one popped out accidentally.
I don't fart a lot anyway.
He would no problem.

Even thread about farts can't be covid free and freedoms

Burps can be dangerously unpredictable.
I like a good belch and would do it openly with my hand over my mouth.

Isn't it amazing how farting can provoke such lengthy and in-depth discussion. 🤣🤣

I cannot believe the amount of people who have been leaving the room to fart god knows how many times a day for 20 odd years.
All you prudes do know you fart in your sleep ? And it is a bodily function not the nicest admittedly but a natural function none the less.
God get a life .

@Inthesameboatatmo

I cannot believe the amount of people who have been leaving the room to fart god knows how many times a day for 20 odd years. All you prudes do know you fart in your sleep ? And it is a bodily function not the nicest admittedly but a natural function none the less. God get a life .

Prudes? 😂😂😂

I don’t think people are leaving the room all the time to fart, it’s just easy not to – just like if you’re sat with friends or family. It’s not something I ever think about.

MIL farted once as we were all sitting watching TV. She just said excuse me” and that was the end of it. I’d never have expected her to leave the room.

Fart - no. never.

Belch, like proper roaring belching. Yes.

@HidingBehindYetAnotherName

their way of life and hard won freedoms are under attack.

just like coughing and sneezing isn't a problem so long as done discreetly, ie into a hand/elbow/tissue.

Problem is, though, if you cough or sneeze with aplomb into an elbow, it can sound just like a powerful fart! Children do it deliberately, all the time, when they want the fun of a noisy fart sound but can't summon up a real one. Armpit flatulence is A Thing, people.

All of these people claiming that they themselves never/rarely fart just remind me of the old joke about the woman who goes to the GP, concerned about the (thankfully silent and odourless) farts that she keeps doing in public - and the GP sends her away with heavy-duty nasal decongestant and a hearing aid

[quote HidingBehindYetAnotherName]I have good news Mrs @MiddlesexGirl !
Inability to burp can now be treated with Botox.
throatdisorder.com/throat-disorders/inability-to-burp/[/quote]
Not to worry Hiding. It's never caused me any issues
Interestingly you'd think I'd be the most farty burpy person alive given how much Coke I drink but no. No burping and very rare and easily controlled farting.

True love is a good paaarping 👍