How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

[fuckyeahpercywigwam]

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

@rubbletrouble

Oh my gosh, no, never. I just don't think it's necessary to be farting in front of anyone, it's disgusting.

Sorry just to add we've been together 18 years.

This thread literally has me in stitches 🤣🤣
It also reminded me of my late grandmother who was of the 'only fart in the toilet' category. I remember as a child being fascinated by her spurious trips to the loo where one could hear loud rumbles and trumpeting sounds, seemingly going on for ages! My god that used to make us kids giggle.
And before anyone asks why we were listening outside the door. We weren't. The house was so small we could clearly hear it!

Same. I don't fall about laughing at every single one. A particularly interesting sneeze might get a comment or exclamation. Same for an usual or remarkable fart. But most are completely ignored as you would a yawn. I can't imagine how uptight you'd have to be to wait to do it in private every single time. I was at a friend's recently and ate bread. God the discomfort of holding in my farts til I left was agony. It actually affected my enthusiasm to chat to her. And people act like this in their own home/bed?

Neither of our loos have good sound insulation @Macaroni46. On one occasion I heard a long and loud farting noise followed by the proud announcement “it’s a boy”.
DH was reading his phone on the loo and Prince Louis had just been born.

Together since 2005 and Lived together after a month
Since then we have no qualms about farting peeing in front of each other
I have IBS and we have one bathroom and in extreme urgencies if he's in bath I'll poo in front of him
We have great sex btw

Dh and I are very comfortable around each other and we can laugh about it, if one let's off. I2 years here.

I can't remember but when I read this the first time I thought you'd said GPs

DH seems to be quite discreet about his. Unlike some of my running friends, I have to pretend not to hear. Although sometimes I need to do one too and run along clenching my buttocks like mad to try to let it out quietly!

TMI - sorry.

God the discomfort of holding in my farts til I left was agony.

Sounds as if you need a doctor!

Tmi but I was at my desk in the office and felt the urge. Empty office due to the wfh forever brigade refusing to come back, it would he heard without the general background noise to cover it up.

I was fine to wait until I needed to make a drink or go to the loo later.

If you're in agony over holding in a fart for a few minutes you need a doctor

The worst are the farts when you fart and suddenlyneveryone needs something from you. So while you were comfortably ably alone to let one rip, the second you do everyone comes. And the worst the fart, the more people are sudden coming to you. It's some kind of natural law

I hate farting but the boyfriend has no issue with it, unfortunately.

I’m truly amazed by the amount of people in long term relationships that don’t fart in front of their partner!

DH and I have been happily farting in front of each other since about a month into the relationship. Been together 18 years. In fact if farting was a sport, DH would be world champion!! I try and match him, but mine are just never as impressive 🤷‍♀️

We’ll happily wee in front of each other, but draw the line at poo.

I farted in front of DP a few months in. Not on purpose. He'd actually joked about never having heard me not long previously. I actually get quite bad wind quite often and have horrible embarrassment about it. I was mortified, but now I don't know how I went so long without doing it. I would live in the loo or be saddled with a complex if I'd tried to keep it up.

In contrast, DP has only farted in front of me in his sleep. His mum forced him (but none of his younger siblings) to only fart in the loo. He's sometimes in there for quite awhile getting it all out. And it doesn't make much difference to me where he does it because it's a small flat so I hear him anyway.

It's not the high spot of the relationship but we love wholly. The attraction is deeper.

Whatever happened to the woman who posted on MN whose husband was very disrespectful? Not only did he let rip with his farts with gay abandon, she complained he actually played a tune! Wish I could do that!

@SchrodingersImmigrant

I must be very un-farty. I have been observing since this thread was started and, other than while using the loo, I haven't needed to fart. No clenching or holding in, no discomfort from retained gas. Surely this is normal if you eat a good diet? As always, those with a bowel or digestive condition have my sympathy.

I would actually suggest that severe lack of gas might be a sign of not so good diet for belly bacteria

😂 Whatever. I still think it’s gross, and offensive.

I know a couple who've been together 30+ years. He's never heard her fart... ever.
Her parents don't fart either.
Complete opposite of our family 🤣

I've been married to DH for 28 years but together for several years longer than that.

We happily fart in front of each other and have since not long after we met. It is hilarious. Competitions for the longest and loudest have not been unknown and are very liberating. I remember those from my childhood too as my parents were not shy about letting rip a good old fart each.

The line we do not cross is pooing and peeing in front of each other.

I simply don't believe couples who claim it never to fart around each other. Being on farting terms is the bedrock of a good relationship.

@MrsPsmalls

Am I unusual in never knowingly having farted then? What are you people eating?? I can't think of anytime I have farted whilst awake unless I was just about to come down with d&v which is about twice a decade. But you people are doing it lots of times everyday?

Rolling my eyes so hard my pupils are brushing against my brain here.

My OH was at the birth of our daughter who is now 11 and believe me he saw it all .😱
There isn’t much to hide after that.

However in the early days I wouldn’t even eat much in front of him never mind fart .

How it all changed .🤣

I don't do it, and I rapidly lose any sexual attraction to anyone who deliberately does it in front of me.

Accidental with apology, or whilst asleep is salvageable.

Married for almost 20 years and still don't. Now a few have slipped out, but we just giggle and say, "sorry."

I like not sharing farts with my DH.

He did see me poop while I gave birth, and recently told our DD12 that pooping while pushing a baby is normal (she asked if this were true). But I'm perfectly happy with our fart-free relationship.

Horrible, and it would definitely put me off a partner. I was married for 30 years and neither of us did that in front of one another, now I've been married for 13 years to DH and we never do that. It's perfectly doable to go into the bathroom / go outside to pass wind. I can't believe that anyone would think it made your relationship better or closer.

No. 20 yrs here.
People who do this are just grim.

@Donelurking

Gross…disgusting… Strong words for a bodily function. Reminds me of my mother: so repressed.

Why is it repressed not to want to breathe in gas from someone's aresehole? It's just fucking gross.

@FrogsHiccups

Wow! I’m really shocked at how many people don’t fart in front of their partner! If my DH and I took ourselves off to the loo every time we needed to trump we’d never see each other! 😂 I do suffer from IBS though, so as PP said, if I don’t let it go I really suffer! It’s just the same as doing a cough or sneeze IMO.

NOT THE SAME AS A COUGH OR A SNEEZE! 🙈