How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

[fuckyeahpercywigwam]

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

Took me about 4 years. I'm still not comfortable with it but as PP have said it can cause pain with IBS and holding it in is too uncomfortable. I've tried to relax about it but I do still think it's a bit gross, only do it if you have to!

@igelkott2021

I can't remember but when I read this the first time I thought you'd said GPs

That would certainly take many lifetimes as I don’t remember having seen the same one twice.

@Somuddled

Do you free farters also free fart at work? At appointments? What about burping? Do you make no attempts to subdued those too?

That really is just such a stupid question.

There are plenty of things that I can do freely in the privacy of my own home that I wouldn't do outside of it. There's a time and a place for everything. My own home is one of the places where I can fart with abandon if I want to. Of course I am more careful if I am out in public somewhere or a guest in someone else's house.

I mean, I can honestly say that I have never farted in front of the Queen.

I wonder if the queen even knows about farts? Surely a member of the royal family wound never fart, and I doubt any commoner would fart in their presence.
Perhaps they think only horses fart 🤔

That was for @Topseyt

This thread is wild. If people worried half as much about raising their children well or being remotely good people the planet might not be doomed… but heaven forbid someone farts…

I’m imagining a lot of women who’re self declared ‘posh’.

Some poor bloke farted whilst bowing in front of Elizabeth the first.
Seven years later, when he finally returned to court she said “I had quite forgot the fart”

I wknder what people mean by the "ln purpose". Do you mean just 'well it's coming but I don't wmat to get up' or do you mean someone who gives it a push? For me the "on purpose" is the latter and we don't really do that either

Been with DH over twenty years. In the early days when I used to stay over at his place I used to hold them in and let go the following morning on the way home. One day, I decided that it wasn't worth the stomach ache so I asked him to "pull my finger" and the rest is history. Yes, we're the disgusting, immature ones that find farts funny.

I need total privacy to poo though and won't poo anywhere but home. The idea of pooing at work or at someone else's house fills me with dead. Ridiculous, eh?!

Luckily my lovely DP u derstands that due to my severe medical issues, farting is something I can not avoid. Loves me anyway and says it is natural and I am not ‘gross’.

We happily fart in front of each other and have since not long after we met. It is hilarious. Competitions for the longest and loudest have not been unknown and are very liberating. I remember those from my childhood too as my parents were not shy about letting rip a good old fart each

Wow. #blessed.

I am shocked how many people don't fart in front of the person they live with!
Anything goes in this house, DH and I have been known to have a poo whilst the other is in the shower too - when you've got to go, you've got to go.
We're both in the medical field though so not sensitive about bodily functions.
I did hold farts in with an ex I was with when I was younger though - for 3 years I got the most uncomfortable stomach pains holding them in. It's no way to live!

It’s just the same as doing a cough or sneeze

So as asked previously, would you happily fart in an interview/restaurant/work meeting/theatre/chat with the in laws?

I’d happily cough or sneeze in any of those situations.

I can't believe the number of uptight people on here over a fart.
Fgs, catch yourselves on. There are more important things to worry about.

Familiarity breeds contempt.
So, never, is the answer to your question.

A couple of weeks? Dunno, can't get uptight about farts. We're all mammals and mammals pass gas....

Not just mammals - saw an iguana farting in a bath on YouTube....

@CounsellorTroi

Not just mammals - saw an iguana farting in a bath on YouTube....

Apparently birds don't fart because they don't have the gut bacteria needed

I think we farted quite early on. I'd had a boyfriend that I couldn't fart around. And I suffered so much trapped wind. Couldn't poop at his. I was constantly uncomfortable. So when I met DP, I told him 'sometimes, I'm gonna need to fart and you're going to have to deal with it'

Farting is a natural thing. Obviously, please try not to let one rip around the dinner table (I'm looking at you, DS!) but I think it's unrealistic to never fart in front of your partner!

My kids hardly ever acknowledge it when they've farted. Even if it's a long loud one.

Better out than in!

Mumsnet is so weird about this!

I think DH was literally a few of dates in, I followed through (lol) fairly soon after that.

Not being able to fart in front of my own partner would be an absolute deal breaker for me I think! It's someone you do all sorts of sex stuff with, exchange bodily fluids with regularly, you live with them, they have seen you at your best and your worst...but you can't pass wind in front of them?

So as asked previously, would you happily fart in an interview/restaurant/work meeting/theatre/chat with the in laws?

Yes, people routinely do this - often, you have no warning or agency in the matter. In fact, quite often, when somebody does a loud 'acceptable' cough in public, it's either the unwitting catalyst to a 'double-ender' or otherwise a deliberate attempt to obscure the noise of a 'less acceptable' fart. Either way, farts in public life are very much A Thing.

Contrary to popular belief that the Queen would neither fart nor even know what such a vulgar thing was, the royals are actually connoisseurs of bottom flatus as entertainment and even employ people for this very purpose.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter

I rue that day in history when the beautiful word 'bumbulum' passed out (so to speak) of common everyday usage.

'sometimes, I'm gonna need to fart and you're going to have to deal with it'

That could be interpreted as him being required to step in and manage the aftermath with practical assistance fetch the shovel, sawdust and Domestos rather than just having to socially accept its occurrence

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I rue that day in history when the beautiful word 'bumbulum' passed out (so to speak) of common everyday usage.

Oh my god i love that