How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

[fuckyeahpercywigwam]

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

Have you farted:

During an interview
At a restaurant
During a work meeting
At the theatre
Chatting with the in laws

I'd have to say no, yes, no, no, no.

Be careful if you have a good microphone in onlone meetings. My mum farted while online with me thinking I won't hear it😂 I laughed foe the rest of the call

@Tootsey11

I can't believe the number of uptight people on here over a fart. Fgs, catch yourselves on. There are more important things to worry about.

This is really touching a nerve with some people 😀. I don't give a shiny shite if you fart in front of your husband, why are you so concerned with people who don't?

@Rockbird
To be fair, there are some extremely narrow-minded and judgmental people on both sides.

Be careful if you have a good microphone in onlone meetings. My mum farted while online with me thinking I won't hear it😂 I laughed foe the rest of the call

As you'd expect, the BBC have only the best, top-quality microphones that money can buy:

I LOVE how they held it together. I would be under the table😂

Well, Paul Lewis seemed to be in remarkably high spirits considering he was there to talk about potential problems in the Irish economy....

Plus, you REALLY wouldn't have wanted to be under that table right then

😂

Apparently birds don't fart because they don't have the gut bacteria needed

Oh so the phrase "getting up at sparrowfart" is a bit inaccurate...

[quote WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]Contrary to popular belief that the Queen would neither fart nor even know what such a vulgar thing was, the royals are actually connoisseurs of bottom flatus as entertainment and even employ people for this very purpose.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter[/quote]
There is a story that the Queen was in a carriage with some very important foreign head of state when the horse in front farted. The Queen said "oh I'm so sorry" and the head of state said "Don't worry your Majesty, if you hadn't said anything I would have thought it was the horse".

I didn't get what Paul Lewis said in that clip, "Thank goodness for -" what?

@CounsellorTroi

Apparently birds don't fart because they don't have the gut bacteria needed

Oh so the phrase "getting up at sparrowfart" is a bit inaccurate...

So is "eating like a sparrow"😂 They eat between thirtd to half their body weight each day😂 Wouldn't want to eat like a sparrow

I didn't get what Paul Lewis said in that clip, "Thank goodness for -" what?

I think it was "Thank goodness I'm here, Louise" - presumably meaning a few feet away, upwind of Charlie, and not sitting right next to him; or alternatively, thank goodness that he didn't miss his chance to be there in person to witness this historic moment (parpgate) first-hand

So here's a thing! The 5-15 average number of farts per day. That must surely only include freestanding farts and not those that pop out whilst pooing? 🤔
Otherwise I'm over the limit on a pretty much daily basis 😂😂
I have been pondering this all day ...

@Macaroni46

So here's a thing! The 5-15 average number of farts per day. That must surely only include freestanding farts and not those that pop out whilst pooing? 🤔 Otherwise I'm over the limit on a pretty much daily basis 😂😂 I have been pondering this all day ...

I am over limit and not ashamed. Saw that some websites say average is betweem 15-25 even. I wonder if that all depends on local diet🤔

I don't but he does, apparently I do in my sleep though

I recall a colleague at work once asking "Do you fart in front of you OH?" I said "No certainly not! Why do you?" and she said "Oh yes, in fact we have farting competitions in our house!"

I remembered later that she had also told me that they had a parrot and I wondered if;

1. The parrot takes the blame when there are visitors or,
2. Has the parrot learnt the 'melodies' (so to speak) and takes part.

I could never bring myself to ask...

Accidentally did one at the worst time possible (use your imagination) quite early on.. Was mortified but dp found it hilarious and still 10 years later brings it up 🤣

Wasn't until 2 years in until I was comfortable enough to properly. Alot earlier than that for DP.. We literally do everything infront of each other now with no shame.. Don't find it funny or entertaining (DP does) but so thankful I am free to be 100% myself and comfortable around him and vice versa.. Would hate to be in a relationship I had to hold it in or have someone be disgusted if I did.. Together warts an all and wouldn't want it any other way

@MrsDSalvatore
Accidentally did one at the worst time possible (use your imagination)

I imagine it was after the Judge had concluded his summary and said
"Has the defendant got anything to say?"

Am I right?

I recall a colleague at work once asking "Do you fart in front of you OH?"

"No, not if I know it's his turn!"

I'm here all week, folks....!

We never do, unless by accident, even after 30+ years. Always take oneself to the bathroom.

We basically pretend we don't hear. And I have ulcerative colitis which can be decidedly noisy.

I guess we are prudes!

Imagine if you were on your death bed and had just delivered some moving, powerful, soul-stirring words that you'd planned and practised your whole life and which you felt summed up said life and conveyed the lasting legacy that you hoped to leave the world with as your deeply meaningful personal swan song.

And then, after that, in your few remaining seconds for this world.... "PAAAAAARRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!!!!!!"

I suppose, at least it would be a guaranteed way to ensure you leave your loved ones in floods of tears at your passing (so to speak)

I think the bowels move when you die... So it might be seconds after rather than before👀

Omg do we all die farting

Never intentionally. Obviously in our sleep or when someone has been in the loo and may have heard it distantly. Never in front of each other. Married 11 years, together 15.

No way. I can't believe the amount of posters who don't fart or burp in front of their husbands/long term partners.

How can anyone keep this up long term?

Plus, as a number of posters have said, it's a natural bodily function, and isn't 'dirty' or gross.

@fuckyeahpercywigwam I had been with my (now) DH for about a month before I dropped one in front of him. And he did one not long after.

We don't make a habit of constantly farting, but if we need to let rip, then we do. I find it so bizarre that some people have been together many many years, and still don't fart in front of one another. How unpleasant and uncomfortable, always having to hold it in.