'Unrefined' words / phrases

[brideyb]

I'm a little... rough around the edges

But I want to be seen as more sophisticated and grown up at work (prof services) and socially. I catch myself saying things that my colleagues never do and want to train myself out of it in order to progress and be seen as a shit together adult. My vocab seems to be stuck in my teenage years, I can't think of the words right now but I know I do it - things like ' cool' and ending a call with see yaaaa laterrrr'

Middleclass Mumsnet and senior professional woman - what phrases do I need to cut out?

NC obv in case my colleagues are actually on here!

Can you give an idea of phrases you currently use that you want to replace with alternatives?

I’m sure you don’t really speak like that at work.

Oo this is a tough one! I would suggest try to remove the words "like" "nice" "cool" and being concise when you speak, don't try to fill out sentences unnecessarily. Don't say ummm or errrr! Don't try and over complicate sentences because it doesn't come off as sophisticated, no one appreciates jargon that doesn't need to be there. Know the power of silence, and when to interject in a conversation. Speed is also important, I used to talk so quickly and realised it made whatever I said rushed and not well thought through, speaking slightly slower makes me sound like I've thought about what I'm saying.

As a language teacher I would advise students to look for role models. In order to sound more sophisticated I would suggest you watch more sophisticated tv, listen to Radio 4 and read a broadsheet newspaper.

Difficult without examples, but another thing watch for is if you're using poor grammar, which makes you stand out. Perhaps keep an eye on the Pedants' corner forum for examples! For example, one thing that makes me cringe slightly (no idea why, but it just does), is the use of "off of" rather than "from". For example, "I got this purse off of a friend". It also depends who you are trying to fit in with. If your colleagues are all public school educated you might find they've got the typical "words from French are common" point of view, so use lavatory/loo, napkin and scent instead of toilet, serviette and perfume, and say "what" not "pardon". In which case you have to decide how much you want to change your language, or whether to do the chameleon thing according to who you are talking to (which I do naturally now).

"Oh my goodness!" is a good way of expressing surprise, in a non-rough-around-the-edges way.

Never use double negatives
Don’t “gush”
Broadly get grammar right
Avoid course phases “rip her a new one” etc
Be aware and mirror what those slightly senior or just more established behave
Listen to others

Coarse

“Innit”
“Like” (As in “She’s, like, 60 now, but looks younger”)
“Though” at the end of a sentence.
“Fair enough”. Too many people use it in the wrong context.

@FindMeInTheSunshine yes I think that's it, it's an industry heavily dominated with ex public school so I don't realise I'm saying the 'wrong' thing until it's too late.

@musicalfrog eeeek I say oh my god, so will scratch that off.

@MsTSwift what you mean by gushing?

@WomanStanleyWoman except innit, I use them all....

@FindMeInTheSunshine I'm guilty of 'off of' too! This is an eye opener

Instead of saying "cool" say yes, or fine, or that's fine.

Don't end a professional call with "see ya later". Bye or goodbye or speak to you tomorrow, would be more appropriate.

Also I'd say "wow" or "really" instead of oh my god

I'd also remember to greet people properly by saying good morning to them, thanking clients for joining I call. Asking polite questions at the start of a meeting. How are you today? How's the weather where you are? Did you have far to travel? Etc

When you are signing off or saying goodbye, finish with "Have a lovely day/evening." it leaves people with a good impression of you.

Don’t try to use the word “myself” as a “posh” version of “me”. “Me” is a perfectly good word in the right context, eg “please fill this form in and give it back to me”. “Myself” should only be used reflexively or as an enhancer.

Instead of cool, say 'Perfect'.
Instead of See Ya, say 'See you tomorrow'
Do not drop 'to the' where it is appropriate eg I'm going canteen instead of I'm going to the canteen.

TBH, the fact you can hear yourself means that you can and will change it in time. Post back for some examples of what you could change, but as PP have suggested, just listen to and copy others. You might feel a bit self conscious as you think it's not really you, but noone else will notice (or care) that much.

Things I notice are using “guna” instead of “going to”, “innit” instead of “isn’t it” and the whole would of should of family (would have, should have).

Look into elocution

Read read read! HBR blogs etc ... for modern biz communication styles

Record calls and listen to yourself back

I regularly listen to talks on a niche subject by a speaker who didnt have such refined English when he first started. He speaks with a very clear accent and elegant manner of speaking and a has a varied vocabulary. Someone once asked him how he started talking 'posh' and he replied that he used to listen to Radio 4 on his daily commute and picked it up from them.

Never call anybody Hun.

Never say toilet, only loo. And never tell anyone you are going to the loo.

@WomanStanleyWoman

“Innit” “Like” (As in “She’s, like, 60 now, but looks younger”) “Though” at the end of a sentence. “Fair enough”. Too many people use it in the wrong context.

Can you give an example of ‘though’ at the end of a sentence? I’m struggling to imagine it.

Can you give an example of ‘though’ at the end of a sentence? I’m struggling to imagine it.

"Am I bovvered though?"