'Unrefined' words / phrases

[brideyb]

I'm a little... rough around the edges

But I want to be seen as more sophisticated and grown up at work (prof services) and socially. I catch myself saying things that my colleagues never do and want to train myself out of it in order to progress and be seen as a shit together adult. My vocab seems to be stuck in my teenage years, I can't think of the words right now but I know I do it - things like ' cool' and ending a call with see yaaaa laterrrr'

Middleclass Mumsnet and senior professional woman - what phrases do I need to cut out?

I know someone who says 'obviously' all the time.

Obviously it's my mums birthday and obviously she doesn't like chrysanthemums.

@cariadlet

Something that really grates for me, is people using "was" when it should be "were" eg "We was going to the shops" or "What was you doing?"

Yes definitely this. Practise which you should be using.

I worked with someone who also said things like "cool" and "see you later" and was just generally informal. She was one of the most respected people at my work. We wouldn't have changed her for the world!

As much as possible, use plain language. Avoid the passive voice, it weakens your writing. Avoid jargon and acronyms.

Write for your reader.

Use short sentences and paragraphs. There is no need for paragraphs that take 1/2 a page.

When speaking, avoid using slang expressions that could give offense. As an example, a member of my team (lawyers) used the phrase "we are down to the short strokes."

I took him aside and reminded him it was the kind of thing said in old all-male teams, not teams of both professional men and women.

To me it depends on your job?

Is it vital that you use correct speech and grammar?

If not, I'd concentrate on the basics and just be yourself.

@ILoveShula
Just re read both your sentences

Great advice :)

Grammar.

I work with people who say “I done” “I seen” “I’ve wrote” and it grinds my gears.

I work in a really professional environment as well.

Read up on grammar.

Is this a serious thread or are you all taking the piss?

@RickOShay, it was deliberate.

Overuse of a phrase or expression can be tiresome. I worked with someone who used an expression all the time, usually in reply to anything I said. I began to feel like she was not bothering to listen.

Avoid 'street'-style phrases or ones that are specific to a region or type of people.

This thread does not sit well with me. There is nothing wrong with being who you are and speaking how you speak.

WRT no prepositions at the end of a sentence: this is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put.

No there isn't @RickOShay, but some things can go against you.

For example, if you speak in a slang style, people might misinterpret what you say, or if you have a very strong accent they might not understand you.

@ILoveShula
‘something I’m not keen on’ doesn’t sound clumsy to me so it wasn’t a great way to make your point and it isn’t surprising people can’t tell whether you meant it or not. Actually, what was your point? Maybe you were trying to show it sounds ok. I’m lost.

Another point @RickOShay, is that if you turn up for work well-groomed you will seem more professional, so why not have your communication style 'well-groomed' too?

Not a point about being unrefined but I've just received this in an e-mail

" Greetings from [agency_name]!!!
We have openings for a [Job-Title] in London. If interested, kindly revert back with your updated CV. "

The "!!!" has irritated me and the "revert back" makes me think 'to what should I revert?'.

@EmmalineC

Is this a serious thread or are you all taking the piss?

I genuinely cannot tell.

I've worked in professional roles in financial services for over a decade and hear plenty of informal language, 'like's, 'literally', 'oh my god', swearing, regional dialects and god knows what else. I don't know anyone who keeps a fucking Roget's thesaurus to hand to make sure they sound acceptable for the office. Some of the biggest names in the industry use all of these apparent verbal crimes and still manage to keep their high profile jobs - one of my favourite people I've ever worked (briefly) with was extremely high up at a bank, had a strong northern accent, was informal and relaxed and swore and wore 'normal' clothes to work. I'd much rather work with her than someone who gets the vapours about the idea of saying "I'm just nipping to the loo"....

@ILoveShula

No there isn't *@RickOShay*, but some things can go against you.

For example, if you speak in a slang style, people might misinterpret what you say, or if you have a very strong accent they might not understand you.

But a lot of upper-class accents and slang, especially among older people, are well-nigh incomprehensible to many, too — distorted vowel sounds, swallowed consonants and often odd emphases.

But I don’t see anyone campaigning against yod-dropping, or ‘down’ being pronounced ‘dine’, or the sort of ‘can’t be bothered to open my mouth fully’ drawl you get from Jacob Rees-Mogg.

@RickOShay

This thread does not sit well with me. There is nothing wrong with being who you are and speaking how you speak.

Same.

I'm going to be extra Northern and working class sounding in all my Zoom meetings today on purpose.

@EsoNoSeHace,

The point was that some sentences seem more articulate if they are reworded so that they don't end with a preposition.

Examples:

'Who gave you that?' not 'Who did you get that off of?'
Why did you do that? not 'What did you do that for?'

Yes @ILoveShula
To the victor the spoils and people of high social status do get to make the rules. @RickOShay I think people do have to compromise to fit in if they are surrounded by a different tribe such as public school types. There will be boundaries and confidence covers a multitude, but it is practical and likely to help in OP’s career.

I was on a Teams meeting with someone from The North yesterday and it was refreshing to hear a broad northern accent. Absolutely no effect on his work.

If he'd been 'Ah orright then chuck' it might give a different impression.

I guess it worked for Mrs Thatcher.

I wouldn't use 'if that makes sense' in work emails. You want to come across as articulate, confident, competent, not as someone who isn't sure that they can intelligibly get their point across.

Margaret Thatcher had a makeover.
She changed herself from Hilda to Margaret, lost some weight, had her voice coached, and so on.