'Unrefined' words / phrases

[brideyb]

I'm a little... rough around the edges

But I want to be seen as more sophisticated and grown up at work (prof services) and socially. I catch myself saying things that my colleagues never do and want to train myself out of it in order to progress and be seen as a shit together adult. My vocab seems to be stuck in my teenage years, I can't think of the words right now but I know I do it - things like ' cool' and ending a call with see yaaaa laterrrr'

Middleclass Mumsnet and senior professional woman - what phrases do I need to cut out?

Don't use shit as a description. Apart from being coarse it is used to describe so many things that it is confusing. Don't use overly instead of over and don't use majorly instead of major.

My advice would be to concentrate on correct grammar and to enunciate clearly.

As others have noted:
"Would / could / should have" not "would...of"
First person singular comes second (Tom and I)
Myself is used only when you are doing an action to yourself
"Thank you" not "Ta"
Correct use of pronouns: "She and I" not "Her and me" when the subject of a sentence.

Sorry - as someone who learnt English as a second language as a child I'm very particular about good grammar.

Ok I am going to try and cut the below out, especially at work! Thank you all!

Cool
Shit, as in that's so shit
Oh my god
Like
If that makes sense
At the end of the day
Though as in ‘I get that though’

It's easy enough to stop saying cool, just say that's good or fine or whatever fits in context.

Same with "see you later" - replace with "goodbye" or even "speak later" if you know you will speak again that day.

Don't use impact as a verb and don't say excited "for" when you mean excited "about". People will disagree with me on both of those and say they are part of modern communication styles. Grrr (don't say grrr in emails).

And there's nothing wrong with saying you're off to the loo.

Obviously (though MNers will disagree) do not swear.

@brideyb

Ok I am going to try and cut the below out, especially at work! Thank you all!

Cool
Shit, as in that's so shit
Oh my god
Like
If that makes sense
At the end of the day
Though as in ‘I get that though’

None of those are any indicator of class, education, or professional ability. Seriously.

Th-fronting and glottal Ts.

Eg free instead of three, fing instead of thing. Wa’er/water, ne’work/network.

Google for enunciation exercises.

@Geamhradh they really are

I think these differences stand out more when you are in a predominantly UK centric organisation rather than multicultural international teams with colleagues from all corners of the world.

What stands out most for me is manners, etiquette and conduct. Respect for others, inclusive attitudes, reading the room right and being attuned to what is not said as much as what is.

Language is of course important but I want my team to bring their whole selves to work and feel they are valued for who they are without having to wear a mask.
That said, there is no place for swear words and anything that upsets or offends others such as crass jokes with racist, sexist, vibes etc.

I'd focus most on being able to turn it on when needed - prove you are not a risk to put in front of the board delivering a presentation and prove that your written deliverables are up to the quality needed.

It's about building confidence in the professionalism of your delivery, yet not compromising on what makes you you.

@Botanica.
Agree, totally.
Prescriptivism in language use is generally advocated by people who are more insecure, for whatever reason, about their own SPaG.

It’s hard to explain in writing but I get where you are coming from op. It’s not accent it is grammar and phrasing.
I used to work in a large open plan law firm. They put a team behind me of early twenty somethings. They all had degrees from local university. They did initial calls to clients. Their spoken English used to make me cringe sometimes. They had a script for first bit but reverted to own language as call progressed. Eg Was and were - where was you going?, you was going town - not you were going into town. It is like when wrong their/there/they’re is used in writing it jumps out at you same with speech.

As long as your grammar is ok, it doesn’t matter if you use casual language like “cool”, in fact I’d say if you never stray away from formal speech you’re likely to come across as quite cold. It’s good to be a bit more relaxed when you’re building relationships with people.

The only thing I ever notice that (sorry) tends to make me assume someone is punching above their intellectual weight and competence is the kind of language that’s always quoted on MN- yourself and myself instead of you and me, your good selves instead of you, that kind of thing. Also latching onto and over-using current buzzwords- like when around 2008 everyone took the language of credit crunches and suddenly we had resource crunches, time crunches...

Don't be lazy with adjectives. Don't say a piece of work is great when you mean thorough, well researched or creative, say.

Dont use "trending" words.

@brideyb

Ok I am going to try and cut the below out, especially at work! Thank you all!

Cool
Shit, as in that's so shit
Oh my god
Like
If that makes sense
At the end of the day
Though as in ‘I get that though’

Can't see anything wrong with "if that makes sense". I use this all the time at work in a tentative way. Also occasionally put this at the end of a lengthy email, i.e.- "Hope that makes some sense".

Echoing PP who said listen to Radio 4. Another big one is was/were. So always 'we were' ever 'we was'. 'I did' or 'I have done' rather than 'I done'.

@musicalfrog

When you are signing off or saying goodbye, finish with "Have a lovely day/evening." it leaves people with a good impression of you.

It makes you sound like you're reading from a script in a call centre. "Goodbye" is perfectly adequate, after any appropriate thanks for information given etc.

Shit, as in that's so shit Don't use "crap" either.

The trouble with the whole was/were stuff is that it's correct in some dialects. I was brought up in an area where you'd often hear "I b'aint" and now I hear all around me "I worr" - the things that people are warning against often come from dialects that are looked down on (eg Black Country, Birmingham) whereas no one appears to be worried about Scottish usage creeping in.

There was a report being discussed on Radio 4 this morning which suggested we'd all be talking with a SE accent in 40 years. My mother said they all used to know which village someone came from because of their accent - I'm pretty sure that's not the case now.

Come/came is another common one. These from a newspaper story today - we come on holiday on the 14th. The test come back positive. You would stand out in a professional setting using speech like that.

@MereDintofPandiculation

Shit, as in that's so shit Don't use "crap" either.

The trouble with the whole was/were stuff is that it's correct in some dialects. I was brought up in an area where you'd often hear "I b'aint" and now I hear all around me "I worr" - the things that people are warning against often come from dialects that are looked down on (eg Black Country, Birmingham) whereas no one appears to be worried about Scottish usage creeping in.

There was a report being discussed on Radio 4 this morning which suggested we'd all be talking with a SE accent in 40 years. My mother said they all used to know which village someone came from because of their accent - I'm pretty sure that's not the case now.

Aw, that's the kind of interesting post we used to see in PC before the "Chester drawers mwahahaha the thicko" posts started. In my first ever linguistics lecture, the lecturer said he could pinpoint where we were from to 10miles by virtue of which question tag we used with "ought". Two of us, out of 100+ said the same word, and discovered we were from towns next to each other. I think it was that point, of that lecture, that got me so into (prescriptivists will say I should say "passionate about", I expect- to which I say "David Crystal") linguistics and language usage.

Has though at the end of a sentence always been frowned on?
I use it in place of ‘Yes, but’ at the beginning.
Eg That’s not always true, though.
My husband gets very wound up by ‘see you later’ if it’s not going to be later that day.
I agree with those who have said model yourself on someone who sounds professional.

@EsoNoSeHace

Has though at the end of a sentence always been frowned on? I use it in place of ‘Yes, but’ at the beginning. Eg That’s not always true, though. My husband gets very wound up by ‘see you later’ if it’s not going to be later that day. I agree with those who have said model yourself on someone who sounds professional.

It isn't frowned on. It's just historically less formal in written English. At the beginning it's more formal and also more emphatic, but "though" as a linker can be used almost anywhere in a sentence.

Don’t say ‘you guys’.

Professionalism is more of a mindset than a defined vocabulary. It's about being detached and appropriate in your interactions. A respected collleague of mine speaks with a working class northern accent. He uses straightforward language, avoiding jargon.

Thanks, @Geamhradh but some people seem to be putting it on a par with saying shit in a professional phone call. I think I am missing something.

@EsoNoSeHace

Thanks, *@Geamhradh* but some people seem to be putting it on a par with saying shit in a professional phone call. I think I am missing something.

Quite. It's not you.

@Geamhradh, could you explain this to me, please?

In my first ever linguistics lecture, the lecturer said he could pinpoint where we were from to 10miles by virtue of which question tag we used with "ought". Two of us, out of 100+ said the same word, and discovered we were from towns next to each other.