'Unrefined' words / phrases

[brideyb]

I'm a little... rough around the edges

But I want to be seen as more sophisticated and grown up at work (prof services) and socially. I catch myself saying things that my colleagues never do and want to train myself out of it in order to progress and be seen as a shit together adult. My vocab seems to be stuck in my teenage years, I can't think of the words right now but I know I do it - things like ' cool' and ending a call with see yaaaa laterrrr'

Middleclass Mumsnet and senior professional woman - what phrases do I need to cut out?

Less is more. Listen more say less. Like anything will take time to break habit. Agree with listening to different radio. Are there any podcasts on your area of work or free online training courses. Could you get a mentor at work?

Avoid 'ya know what I mean'.
(If you speak and explain clearly enough, everybody will)

Get this book and read it cover to cover (not in a one-r, but read a bit every day until you've finished it)

ukshop.economist.com/products/the-economist-style-guide-12th-edition?redirect=International

Clear, plain, standard English will see you through everything

Well, I’m not middle class but you could just replace them with more formal phrases. So instead of see ya say ‘I’ll speak to you on x date/nice to see you/have a lovely weekend.’

I find it helps me to take a breath and a few seconds before speaking, it’s my big interview tip. Then you hear what you’re about to say before you say it, rather then just after you’ve said it.

And in a professional sense I dislike when people question themselves. For example, do you get me/does that make sense/err.

If you sound like you don’t know what you’re talking about people will presume you don’t.

Something that really grates for me, is people using "was" when it should be "were" eg "We was going to the shops" or "What was you doing?"

And try and remove the "at the end of the day"
And "end of"

Referring to something previously mentioned as ‘said X’. As in ‘ I got in said car.’ Totally crass.

I'm not sure it matters really op. My grammar is good my vocab is good. My accent is very estuary essex. I also hear myself say weird stuff like superdoops and even 'elbows to you' as a covid greeting combined with a wanky elbow raising gesture. No one cares or if they do they don't say so. I cannot think it has held me back and I've been promoted out of all proportion to my talent. Honestly my speaking voice should be the least of their worries!

@brideyb

I'm a little... rough around the edges

But I want to be seen as more sophisticated and grown up at work (prof services) and socially. I catch myself saying things that my colleagues never do and want to train myself out of it in order to progress and be seen as a shit together adult. My vocab seems to be stuck in my teenage years, I can't think of the words right now but I know I do it - things like ' cool' and ending a call with see yaaaa laterrrr'

Middleclass Mumsnet and senior professional woman - what phrases do I need to cut out?

Your examples would not bother me in the slightest. I would rather someone was genuine rather than trying too hard.

I cringe at certain words/expressions e.g. the use of myself, yourself and ourselves. I’m not bothered by words that are commonly used by people under 40. I think it makes you relatable tbh.

Op it doesn't matter.

My accent is very broad. Very common sounding. I can be blunt but soften it with a good ending.

I work with people at all levels.

I am who I am and talk as I am. Shit grammar etc right there. But I'm good at my job. I'm confident in what I do as I know I should be and there you go. Job done.

Do a good job, be good at your job the rest doesn't matter. Be confident in what you are saying.

Occasionally if I get an awkward person who is better spoken than me, it makes my accent worse.

Don't use slang. Be precise. Get to the point. But mainly have confidence in what you do and be proud of yourself.

There is no shame on saying "look I'm not as eloquent as I'd like to be but this is how it is" when explaining something.

It's worked for me.

OP, the examples you’ve given aren’t you being rough around the edges, you just have to go oh I’m professional so I don’t say that here. I went from a very informal work environment and when I’m on the phone I just put myself in work mode and know I just say goodbye or whatever. It’s not being polished, it’s just being professional and making sure you don’t say things you’d say on the phone to a friend.

I think there's a difference between bad grammar and casual language. I actively chose to work in quite a casual sector so saying cool etc is totally normal. We all talk the same at work and home. But most people are educated to post grad level so it might be casual but we have good vocabulary and grammar (in general).

But equally I don't think many people I work with would judge the things you're talking about. I wouldn't.

I'm not sure the casual language matters so much but poor grammar to some people may make you look uneducated. Things like using the wrong tense as pp's gave said. So I'd focus on that, whole still keeping your personality in how you speak.

I know an accent shouldn’t matter and usually it doesn’t but no way would I have got my job in the City if I had the broad Somerset burr farmer accent some of my former classmates had.

Also try to drop the cliches “at the end of the day” “good as gold” “love the bones of her” etc

Be yourself op. Anyone who would judge you because you have a working class turn of phrase is a dick frankly.

I don’t think you should change, I work for a huge corporation, in a mid-senior role, surrounded by colleagues who went to public school and I still use ‘innit’ in a tongue-in-cheek way as I grew up in a working class home and area.

However, as you have asked:

“I gave her it’
“I took it off her’

@musicalfrog

When you are signing off or saying goodbye, finish with "Have a lovely day/evening." it leaves people with a good impression of you.

On email? I disagree.

A lot of women already use too conciliatory language in emails ‘can I just check’ ‘just wondering’, etc, without adding ‘have a lovely day’ to the mental list.

I just sign off with ‘best’, or just my name if I’m annoyed.

My pet hates are "would of" (instead of "would have"), "myself" (eg please return the form to myself") and "me and Tom went to the shop" ( instead of "Tom and I ....")

Listen to Radio 4

Read a quality newspaper. Actually, read anything

Listen to The Archers, not Coronation Street

I don’t agree with a lot of these posts. I think it’s more important probably to be good at your job and authentic than try to remember a bunch of things you shouldn’t say and then have that distract you in key meetings/ presentations. Being a bit more formal in what you say is not a bad idea, but the most important thing is to be good at your job.

BUT the thing that will cause problems in professional services is poor written English, and you do need a good standard there (but you probably wouldn’t have lasted on your job so far!). That’s how it works in Big 4 anyway….

I agree with @Meraas. I don’t think you should be trying to reinvent yourself as vocally middle-class. I’m a senior academic from a very WC background, and I think it’s important for my students to hear voices like mine. Also agree with overly-conciliatory language still socialised into women.

Agreed, @Comtesse, and obviously you’re right about fluent written English.

I find the words 'so' and 'like' are often overused and are used incorrectly.

Can you give an example of ‘though’ at the end of a sentence? I’m struggling to imagine it.

Then it’ll be very easy for you not to do it.

From reading your OP, there's nothing that would mark you down as either unprofessional or not as "posh/educated" as the public school bods you work with.

The one word you use which would give an approximation simply of your age (and therefore, not a negative) would be "cool".

Pronunciation is interesting- if you close your eyes and listen to Very Posh People, they actually elide lots of sounds and it's a sign, not of their substandard English, but the opposite. Listen to someone like Camilla PB or Boris (if you can get past the piffle waffle content and just focus on the pronunciation of the words) It's interesting.

If you want to become more lexically proficient- read as much as possible.

The "though" distinction is disappearing. Back in the day "though" at the beginning of a written clause was considered formal, while at the end, informal. In spoken language the distinction was never as marked, and corpora studies have the distinction disappearing really now.

Don't bother with Pedants' Corner. It used to be a cosy niche where quirks and nuances of language were analysed and oohed and aahed at. Now, it's become the home of people not nearly as clever as they think who start threads to take the piss out of other people's SPaG. Shame.

@Comtesse
@Demilunary

Agree wholeheartedly with your posts too.