Wanting a wage for playing with his granddaughter

[Bigdisappointment]

This is what my dad ‘Joked’ well, he wasn’t laughing about today.
Parents come to stay with us, he was playing with toddler Dd, she always wants to play with him. He played for a bit, then stood up and said he was going to the bank to get his wage. Confused, I asked ‘Wage for what?’ He said ‘For this’ meaning playing/looking after Dd,
Aibu to feel hurt that he obviously begrudges spending time with her, I'd rather he didn’t if he didn’t want to.
How involved are your parents with your kids? Feel disappointed in mine a lot.

@blossomyoes mine nap for three hours then they’re down again in the evening and stay asleep all night.

Tell them to book a hotel as it’s clearly very tiring for them to be around your DD & you’ll meet up with them if they like and you’re able to.

Agree with this given your other thread as well.

@Niceicebaby Thank you 😊

@Blossomtoes That’s right 👍normal here, very hot and we’ll be out later and she goes to bed later…that’s how it works in summer where we are.

Got much going on in your life?

It sounds as though they are both pretty self-centred and have come partially to see you and partially because it will be a cheap holiday for them. I think you're right that there may be a dispute going on between them about who spends how much time playing with DD.

Perhaps when they're back home you could say something along the lines of - 'dad, mum, I'm really glad you came but shall we keep it a bit briefer next time? I think you find DD a bit exhausting to be with for this length of time and I don't want her to cotton on, so let's keep it short and sweet until she's a bit older?

That way you've put them on notice not to be shits - but you've also given them a bit of a way out if they can't acknowledge their failings - ie. it's her age, she's exhausting etc.

@frazzledasarock Same 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s a joke to them that when dp comes home after working hard all day that ‘Here’s daddy to play with you’ the minute he walks in
They think you are lazy.

to say about a wage also implies to me that he thinks I’m palming her off on him?
Correct. This is what they think.

@CakeandGo Why would I be lazy? When dp comes home, I’m in the kitchen busy making dinner for everyone

@Graffittiunderpass

What was the gate issue? Can you point me in the direction of that thread please?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4298452-Overheard-parents-bitching-about-me

@Bigdisappointment - are you the same person who posted about the gate issue???

@Bigdisappointment why else would they joke about you fobbing your child off on your partner the minute he walks through the door?

[quote LookItsMeAgain]@Bigdisappointment - are you the same person who posted about the gate issue???[/quote]
They are both very similar posts. A lot of the wording is the same.

He probably did enjoy it - for a bit. He got fed up, made a bit of a joke and walked off.
I’d have got bored of playing with a small child after a while, no matter how much I liked/loved them. Hell, I got bored playing with my own kids.

Probably best in small doses

[quote CakeandGo]@Bigdisappointment why else would they joke about you fobbing your child off on your partner the minute he walks through the door?[/quote]
They didn't. They meant the little one could play with her dad instead of grandad.

@CakeandGo They didn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mumsnet is bonkers sometimes. In the real world, it's perfectly normal for grandparents to spend time playing with their grandchildren. Especially when they've invited themselves to stay for 3 weeks!
But OP, you are behaving a bit like a doormat though. I know it's hard to challenge your parents but if you can't bring yourself to do it for you, do it for your DD. She will get older and see that her GPS can't be bothered - she will pick up on the horrible atmosphere.
It's time they went home and time you told them to stay in a hotel next time - to not book and inform you they are coming, but to actually ask. Stop all the running around after them and cooking - they are taking the piss and you know it.
But nothing will change unless you change it.

@wigjuice Yes, that was my post too

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously I just find it crazy that your own parents could take the piss out of you

@LookItsMeAgain Yes

Maybe 45 minutes? We were all on the beach sat together

That’s plenty of time to get a bit fed up when you aren’t used to kids

@Twoforthree Yes, even though we were all
there and he didn’t have to have responsibility for her. Still a horrible comment to make though, about being paid?? He could’ve just said he was bored or was going for a walk etc, it’s ok

It is crazy, but it happens. People can be very selfish, particularly with their own family, where they don't feel obliged to mask their behaviour.
But you have to take control of the relationship, otherwise they really will walk all over you.

[quote Bigdisappointment]@wigjuice Yes, that was my post too[/quote]
You really need to start standing up for yourself. It's so obvious you feel taken advantage of, it's totally unfair to you. You are the only one that can stop this happening and protect your daughter from feeling similar in the future.

Can I ask how old you are?

I was wondering - is it possible that your parents are having issues between themselves and this is over spilling on to your DD?

@wigjuice Early 40’s, do I seem young? I guess it’s because it’s my parents, I don’t have these issues in other areas of my life, I’m really strong in my relationship etc and actually quite a strong person, bizarre isn’t it