To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

@SoupDragon

I use one for out and about to keep them occupied, on low volume. Unless anyone would prefer them getting bored and getting up to wander about?

How on earth did parents cope before tablets and phones?

i asked my mum.. she bluntly said

1. we took toys/books
2. we tag-teamed, so one would occupy you, the other would eat, invariably someone ended up either having to wolf their food while the other ate it cold.
3. we just didn't go out.

My oldest is autistic, my ex and i did all of the above, eventually opting for 3 before we found he could be kept occupied with his tablet, which opened up the chance for us to be able to go for coffee/dinner/lunch with him in tow, and keep him happy long enough for us both to eat our food hot. He's not allowed to watch while he is eating, we do converse with him... he's handed his tablet soon as he is finished so we can then finish eating in peace.

As to the OP... loud is rude, regardless of why people have kids screen watching, they shouldn't allow it to intrude on other customers experience.

To everyone else.. we could do without the sweeping "its lazy parenting" and "no-ones kids need to be screen watching" kind of statements.

I just wonder how they feed kids at nursery or at school without ipads, colouring, toys and allowing them to get up and dick around?

And yes if there's a choice I'd rather listen to a child make noise than electronic beeping

Absolutely 100% agree. The insistent tinny noise and beeping of tech gives me feelings of anxiety when it's not in my control to turn off.

@feelingmehtoday
Don't worry I am from the real world 😂

m.youtube.com/watch?v=aPknwW8mPAM

For those who struggle to understand why one extra unexpected noise can be enough to send someone to the point of not coping and having to leave somewhere watch the video above from the National Autistic Society which is a good explanation of sensory overload

@OchonAgusOchonOh Aww love you too sweetheart 😘

@Awalkintime

I just wonder how they feed kids at nursery or at school without ipads, colouring, toys and allowing them to get up and dick around?

They tie them to chairs of course. And only let them get up during designated exercise time. Did you not know that??

When we go to parks, beaches, we find ourselves in the company of other grandparents for the most part. After a morning of activities we feel entitled to a nice lunch at a decent venue. Why should we scurry home when we can enjoy a decent lunch out.

I have packed crayons etc. You try explaining to a little one that there is a wait for food. So you get a juice for them and do whatever it takes until the food arrives.

The more often children eat out in public the sooner they work out the social niceties imo

I will never forget my partner taking me away to a very fancy country house hotel for the weekend, utterly luxurious. We were in the restaurant on the Saturday night for a lovely romantic and expensive dinner accompanied by the 7/8 year old girl with her family on the table next to us playing YouTube at loud volume. We asked them if she could turn it down but it was barely perceptible so we ended up with dessert on the terrace instead. My partner was going to propose but held off as it wasn't the night he'd imagined

@Sirzy
Not all at. I have said many times I don't agree with volume so loud everyone can hear it. But I do think it's acceptable at a low level. Its called a opinion you have your I have mine it is allowed.
I understand how difficult it is coping in public with a child with additional needs I really do. I understand lots of noises that may not bother a neurotypical person may trigger them.

[quote Jakie7700]@feelingmehtoday
Don't worry I am from the real world 😂[/quote]

There's a few of us left then 😂

[quote Jakie7700]@Sirzy
Not all at. I have said many times I don't agree with volume so loud everyone can hear it. But I do think it's acceptable at a low level. Its called a opinion you have your I have mine it is allowed.
I understand how difficult it is coping in public with a child with additional needs I really do. I understand lots of noises that may not bother a neurotypical person may trigger them.[/quote]

Yes potentially like a baby crying?? Hence my attempts to use a sensory toy to make sure that doesn't happen in public. But apparently that's the wrong thing to do. So I'll just let her cry next time? 🤷‍♀️

@feelingmehtoday
I wouldn't worry they are goading you. Sometimes I do wonder if people would have the guts to say these things to a person's face. Pretty sure they wouldn't

@feelingmehtoday To be fair, you did ask for people's thoughts (twice) - it's clear that you don't want to know if people disagree, and that's up to you. Nobody can know whether the sensory toy bothers people. For me, repetitive musical strains and beeps are a trigger but if the volume is very low then no biggie. For others it might be more intrusive. That said, the only two options available aren't play the noise or leave the baby to cry. I know you don't like the idea of leaving - neither do I, but sometimes I have to if there's sensory noise going on persistently.

CandyLeBonBon

You are correct, how silly of me, things have changed since I worked in nurseries. We used something called expectations and routines back then, not sure what has happened to that 'fad' since then!

[quote AudacityBaby]@feelingmehtoday To be fair, you did ask for people's thoughts (twice) - it's clear that you don't want to know if people disagree, and that's up to you. Nobody can know whether the sensory toy bothers people. For me, repetitive musical strains and beeps are a trigger but if the volume is very low then no biggie. For others it might be more intrusive. That said, the only two options available aren't play the noise or leave the baby to cry. I know you don't like the idea of leaving - neither do I, but sometimes I have to if there's sensory noise going on persistently.[/quote]

It's not that I don't want to know - I just take issue with being told (in my view quite rudely and abruptly) to take my baby outside every time she cries even slightly! Why on earth should I have to do that?

[quote AudacityBaby]@feelingmehtoday To be fair, you did ask for people's thoughts (twice) - it's clear that you don't want to know if people disagree, and that's up to you. Nobody can know whether the sensory toy bothers people. For me, repetitive musical strains and beeps are a trigger but if the volume is very low then no biggie. For others it might be more intrusive. That said, the only two options available aren't play the noise or leave the baby to cry. I know you don't like the idea of leaving - neither do I, but sometimes I have to if there's sensory noise going on persistently.[/quote]
I agree with this.

A tinny 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' on repeat for 20 minutes probably would be irritating, yes.

'Greensleeves' played so softly for 5 minutes I could barely hear it, probably not.

Not much point in asking a question and being offended by the answer.

[quote Jakie7700]@feelingmehtoday
I wouldn't worry they are goading you. Sometimes I do wonder if people would have the guts to say these things to a person's face. Pretty sure they wouldn't[/quote]

Absolutely!

Not much point in asking a question and being offended by the answer.

What utter, utter bollocks.

I asked a question respectfully. The answer I got was (in my view) delivered in quite an abrupt and disrespectful way. Just because you ask a question it doesn't mean you have to accept what you perceive as others' unreasonable answers and/or rudeness.

Here's an example:

Q: How are you today?"
A: "fuck off".

So... you absolutely can ask a question and still be offended by the answer.

@feelingmehtoday To be fair, the other poster didn't say take her out every time she so much as whimpers - they said take her out to soothe her to sleep. I'm guessing they assumed that the lullaby toy was there to stop her from crying, not just from making barely perceptible whimpers.

Either way - you don't have to leave every time if you don't want to. Nobody is making you. You asked if it would bother people and I said depending on the circumstances it might mean that I have to leave. Which I wouldn't be thrilled about, but that's life.

@AudacityBaby

And I thank you for your balanced and respectful answer to my question.

to take my baby outside every time she cries even slightly! Why on earth should I have to do that

You don’t have to. Nobody is forcing you. But if you ask for opinions then you’ll get told, quite rightly that some people will find it irritating and rude and many of those people will have chosen to take their own babies outside because they didn’t want to be irritating and rude themselves. You have a different opinion and will behave accordingly. Nobody is going to force you to behave differently any more than you can force others to think differently about it. I’m not sure why you asked the question.

And yes that's exactly it - should have perhaps made that clearer. The lullaby toy is a preventative measure that nips the whimpers in the bud before the crying escalates when she's overtired. Ironically, it might be the noise of another child at another table that's caused her to stir... my playing the toy engages her somehow and she soothes back to sleep. To me it's the lesser of two noises - her crying would be far more disruptive to others, not to mention causing my own anxiety to escalate through the roof.

@OlympicProcrastinator

to take my baby outside every time she cries even slightly! Why on earth should I have to do that

You don’t have to. Nobody is forcing you. But if you ask for opinions then you’ll get told, quite rightly that some people will find it irritating and rude and many of those people will have chosen to take their own babies outside because they didn’t want to be irritating and rude themselves. You have a different opinion and will behave accordingly. Nobody is going to force you to behave differently any more than you can force others to think differently about it. I’m not sure why you asked the question.

Curiosity is why I asked the question. Asking a question doesn't mean I have to say "oh yes I completely agree with you" to every single answer though. I'm allowed to still agree or disagree with certain suggestions. As are we all.