To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

@OchonAgusOchonOh I did say sorry what do you want blood? Oh are we not allowed to make a mistake.
Also the original post did not state anywhere the music was blasting if it did most people would agree straight away.

I guess those kids should just deal, because whoever needs the loudest accommodation wins!

Sadly that is my experience of most adjustments. It’s part of the reason that DS regularly goes through phases where he can’t even leave the house and certainly can’t access things designed for children with additional needs.

There seems to be an assumption that all people with additional needs have the same needs and so often a lack of willingness to consider the impact of those needs on others - both with additional needs and neurotypical.

It’s like the last post from jackie saying those who are noise sensitive should use ear defenders yet the reoccurring theme has been how those who need the noise can’t possibly use headphones!

Agree with you. We need to learn to consider others and how to manage social.situatuons . Dh and i in pub rhe other day .. parents both staring at phone ignoring child. Child started trying to get attention from anyone he could and affected several tables . I felt sorry for the child but did not want to.babysit really.

I notice no one can answer the question of whether or not it's acceptable to play a lullaby from a sensory toy for my 4 month old to send her to back to sleep when she wakes. Probably just as "annoying" as a tablet, I assume? I'd like to hear people's views as I do this regularly to soothe her when I'm out and about ...

I'd personally rather listen to Peppa Pig whilst sipping my coffee than a crying child.

I’d personally rather listening to a crying child while sipping my coffee than literally any tinny awful sounds coming out of the crappy speakers on a phone or tablet, whether it’s Peppa or hip hop.

This isn’t a parents with kids issue, it’s (mainly) a less considerate people issue. Most people can wear headphones or mute their devices, and it’s those people who make a choice to do this despite having other options who are a bit antisocial.

Along with the Speakers In The Park crowd.

[quote Jakie7700]@OchonAgusOchonOh I did say sorry what do you want blood? Oh are we not allowed to make a mistake.
Also the original post did not state anywhere the music was blasting if it did most people would agree straight away.[/quote]
You hadn't said sorry when I started typing, so no blood necessary.

The op said the child was playing a game, which never needs volume.

The op must have been at least several feet away. If it can be heard at that distance, it's too loud.

@feelingmehtoday

I notice no one can answer the question of whether or not it's acceptable to play a lullaby from a sensory toy for my 4 month old to send her to back to sleep when she wakes. Probably just as "annoying" as a tablet, I assume? I'd like to hear people's views as I do this regularly to soothe her when I'm out and about ...

Why not take her outside to soothe her to sleep? Why does it have to be inside in the earshot of others trying to enjoy their meal?

I wonder how many of the "bring crayons" brigade currently have 2-8yos

A lot of them are grandparents who give childcare to their gc.

@Sirzy In the OP post she said they were opposite her. In your post you never said where the other people were.

I am assuming to cause such upset they were fairly close. Hence you could of spoken to them. I never expected you meant they were so far away you had to leave the table obviously I understand this is not possible.

[quote Jakie7700]@Sirzy In the OP post she said they were opposite her. In your post you never said where the other people were.

I am assuming to cause such upset they were fairly close. Hence you could of spoken to them. I never expected you meant they were so far away you had to leave the table obviously I understand this is not possible.[/quote]
You really don’t get it do you. If you have a child who is showing signs of distress whether it’s turning around to another table or getting up to them then that’s not going to work. Certainly not for my DS.

You seem so keen to justify people’s need to have noise on loud enough to disturb others which I really don’t get.

@feelingmehtoday

I notice no one can answer the question of whether or not it's acceptable to play a lullaby from a sensory toy for my 4 month old to send her to back to sleep when she wakes. Probably just as "annoying" as a tablet, I assume? I'd like to hear people's views as I do this regularly to soothe her when I'm out and about ...

It depends. Is it a tinny, mechanical noise or actual music? Actual music is generally less grating. How loud do you have it going? If you can barely hear it while sitting beside her, then probably fine. If it can be heard several feet away, then probably not fine.

Why not take her outside to soothe her to sleep? Why does it have to be inside in the earshot of others trying to enjoy their meal?

Are you serious? Take her outside every single time she wakes and has a little cry? I'm not talking full on meltdown, I'm talking a little whimper as she's stirring. I play the toy as it has an instant soothing effect on her. And you want me to pick up all my bags and go outside leaving my coffee at the table, every single time she makes a little whimper? Really?!

Either that or find a none noisy way to settle her!

@OchonAgusOchonOh

Not loud at all, and yes it's proper music.

@OchonAgusOchonOh
Give someone a chance to say sorry before jumping on them maybe.

@Sirzy

I literally have no words. Do you not think I try those things in the first instance? Rocking the pram, shushing, talking to her, etc etc... this is what we have discovered works. And I'm sure nearby diners would much rather hear a little lullaby playing quietly than a baby crying??

Honest to god, I'm out. This thread is fucking crazy. Meanwhile, back in the real world that I thankfully inhabit.....

[quote Jakie7700]@OchonAgusOchonOh
Give someone a chance to say sorry before jumping on them maybe.[/quote]
DFOD.

This annoys me SO MUCH.

@feelingmehtoday

Honest to god, I'm out. This thread is fucking crazy. Meanwhile, back in the real world that I thankfully inhabit.....

Aren’t you lucky you can. Many people can’t because of the selfish behaviour of others expecting people to listen to their noise.

Lucky I can what?!

"Hence you could of spoken to them. I never expected you meant they were so far away you had to leave the table obviously I understand this is not possible."

No one should need to and taking your attention away from the person you are supporting can have serious consequences.

Inhabit the real world. Many people struggle to even go out because of such behaviours

@Sirzy

Inhabit the real world. Many people struggle to even go out because of such behaviours

I meant as opposed to Mumsnet. Which at times is nothing at all like the real world IMO!

Many a times when I couldn’t settle a baby I had to take them outside or abandon a meal or coffee. That stage doesn’t last long and it’s just life. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to play music on any device in a coffee shop or restaurant. It’s pretty anti social and inconsiderate really.