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AIBU?

To think my sister is being ridiculous with these comments?

306 replies

hp45 · 27/07/2021 13:28

My son is 24, he lives a few hours away with his friend, so we rarely see him especially with covid. He has mental health issues and last year he was very depressed and suicidal and his friend helped him through it.

A couple of months ago, I asked him if he wanted to come on holiday with us, he said yes but asked if his friend could come and I agreed.

We got here yesterday, and my sisters children would've had to share a room so DS and his friend got their own room, DS and his friend offered to share. Since then, my sister has been making ridiculous comments to DS, asking him why he wants to share with his friend, and asking why his friend can't go on holiday with his family.

She then said to me that, if she lived with her friend, she wouldn't want to bring them on a family holiday, I told her that it was up to DS. She then said that they're going to ruin the holiday, they're going to be doing their own thing as we will be with our younger children, so I don't see how they're going to ruin it.

Am I Bu in thinking she's being ridiculous? Or would you agree with her?

OP posts:

Report

starfishmummy · 27/07/2021 14:04

I agree with a PP. Your sister probably thought a lad on his own would be babysitter, but now he has a friend with him and they will be doing their own thing, she has realised that she will have to look after her own kids.

The only person who is going to spoil her holiday is herself

TheTallOakTrees · 27/07/2021 14:07

Your sister is the problem.

Warrickdaviesasplates · 27/07/2021 14:07

@starfishmummy

I agree with a PP. Your sister probably thought a lad on his own would be babysitter, but now he has a friend with him and they will be doing their own thing, she has realised that she will have to look after her own kids.

The only person who is going to spoil her holiday is herself

That's exactly what I was thinking!

The sister thought OPs son would do loads of childcare and playing with her kids and now that he's going to be enjoying his own holiday with his friend it has ruined her idea of a relaxing holiday with free, on tap, childcare.

JustLyra · 27/07/2021 14:11

Tbh if my nephew had been suicidal I’d have kept my mouth shut even if he brought all of his mates.

Sounds like she had plans that involved your DS entertaining the younger kids or she has an issue with the closeness of your DS and his friend

FunMcCool · 27/07/2021 14:13

She sounds very weird…

hp45 · 27/07/2021 14:13

My sister did know that his friend would also be coming and she knew that her children would be sharing. But when we got here she started complaining about them sharing (even though she was fine with it previously) so DS and his friend offered to share and she seems to have a problem with them sharing too.

I've never thought that they could be in a relationship but it's a possibility but I still don't know why it'd be her business.

We also split the cost 50/50 and we still are when we have food out etc, but DS and his friend are spending their own money. No idea what she means about them ruining the holiday!

OP posts:

FuckingFabulous · 27/07/2021 14:15

Tell her if she doesn't like it, she's always got the option to go home.

BasiliskStare · 27/07/2021 14:17

@hp45 - we recently went on holiday & invited Ds's friend - they are early twenties and not partners or gay but they can cope with sharing a twin room. As it happens because Covid they had to have a single room each. They went off and did stuff and lovely for them.

It was lovely to see them but also lovely for DH & I to do things whilst they could go off and do things.

I think your sister is not thinking about this is the right way - i.e. the holiday could be lovely. If she thinks friend his having a free holiday then I can see that but depends on how the friend is being paid for

But I do not know - I do hope the holiday is lovely

Basilisk x

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 27/07/2021 14:17

Sounds as though she actually thinks they're in a relationship and she doesn't like that.

You need to have stern words with her and get her to stop.

BumbleFlump · 27/07/2021 14:17

Go on holiday without your sister next time, she’s making a fuss over nothing…she sounds great unpleasant and a bit of a bully tbh

GetTaeFuck · 27/07/2021 14:18

She should fuck off home if she doesn’t like it.

Her nephew - your son - could have died.

She should be grateful he’s alive and able to spend time with you all.

I also suspect she’s homophobic and thinks they’re together.

MintyCedric · 27/07/2021 14:18

Your son and his mate sound considerably more grown up than your sister.

Is she aware of your DS' mental health issues and the reason for inviting the friend.

Not that it's necessarily her business but it might make her STFU.

SmokeyDevil · 27/07/2021 14:20

She thinks they are gay and is homophobic. Most likely at least.

I'd ask her what her problem is and be standing up for my son.

Stuckhere2021 · 27/07/2021 14:22

She is being an arse. This is why we holiday alone - would never spend more than a long weekend with any of my /DHs siblings. Friends are different as they don’t tend to complain as much as family members - at least ours don’t. Holidays are “our” time and I am quite selfish about wanting to do/eat/drink etc what our family wants rather than accommodate others which we do all year round.

JustLyra · 27/07/2021 14:26

@hp45

My sister did know that his friend would also be coming and she knew that her children would be sharing. But when we got here she started complaining about them sharing (even though she was fine with it previously) so DS and his friend offered to share and she seems to have a problem with them sharing too.

I've never thought that they could be in a relationship but it's a possibility but I still don't know why it'd be her business.

We also split the cost 50/50 and we still are when we have food out etc, but DS and his friend are spending their own money. No idea what she means about them ruining the holiday!

She sounds like she’s a pain in the arse.

Is she often like this?

NewlyGranny · 27/07/2021 14:31

Das needs to get over herself. If the other young man is hearing, or overhearing, any of this, it will be upsetting and offensive. If you are getting moaned at every time the older ones are out of earshot, that's upsetting for you.

Either way, the arrangements are a done deal and she needs to be told the only thing ruining the holiday is her attitude.

Bluntness100 · 27/07/2021 14:37

Honestly just be blunt with her and ask her what her problem is, and when she’s explained whatever nonsense she’s explained tell her to keep her opinions to herself

Greystray · 27/07/2021 14:38

You need to take her out of earshot and have a word. I think she's trying to get it out of your DS that he's in a relationship with his friend. And why is it her concern? Tell her that whatever his private life arrangements are it remains none of her business, and that if she can't be nice to her nephew who is recovering from or suffering from mental health issue,s she can fuck off home.

YouJustFoldItIn · 27/07/2021 14:46

Sounds like she wanted your son to entertain her own children for the duration of the holiday and now she's worried she'll have to do it.

Wheresmrpenguin · 27/07/2021 14:47

I don't understand, am I missing something? If she doesn't want them sharing, then what? The friend have to room to himself and your son stay with you? Or is there another spare room somewhere?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/07/2021 14:51

Is she imagining them bringing women back at 3 am and drunkenly barging around the accomodation, or having sex with each other in the sofa?
How old are the kids? Could DS babysit one night so you can have dinner just you and sis as a sweetener?

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 27/07/2021 14:57

@SleepingStandingUp

Is she imagining them bringing women back at 3 am and drunkenly barging around the accomodation, or having sex with each other in the sofa?
How old are the kids? Could DS babysit one night so you can have dinner just you and sis as a sweetener?

I wouldn't want to go for dinner with just her if this is how she's behaving! Why reward her for being a cow?

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grapewine · 27/07/2021 14:59

@YouJustFoldItIn

Sounds like she wanted your son to entertain her own children for the duration of the holiday and now she's worried she'll have to do it.

Pretty much this with a dose of homophobia thrown in - despite her not knowing the situation and it being none of her business.

She sounds like a cow.

grapewine · 27/07/2021 15:00

Could DS babysit one night so you can have dinner just you and sis as a sweetener?

WTF should he do that?

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 27/07/2021 15:02

Does she think they’re together and the ‘gay’ may rub off onto her children? I’d have a private word with her to try and get to the root of it.
If it turned out to be homophobia driving it (real or imagined) I’d go nuclear

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