You have not been in the slightest bit honest about the actual programme.
Sigh. I think part of the confusion here stems from people thinking that the 12 steps as they were written 80 or so years ago somehow sum up AA today. In fact they don't. AA has morphed hugely over the past century. There is a big gap between the way the original literature is written and the way AA members practice and understand the programme today. It would probably be better if this gap didn't exist, but it does. With all due respect, Qwerty, you don't seem to have been to AA meetings, so you know very little about how AA recovery works in real life, outside the literature. If you walk into any AA meeting and ask any AA member whether AA is a religious programme, they will tell you no. They may well tell you that 'the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking', which is true. It's the only criterion. Whether or not you want to get a sponsor and work the steps, and how you work the steps, is completely up to you. Accepting the validity of the 12 steps is NOT a criterion for membership.
For some members, just going to meetings is enough; it's like a kind of group therapy. But if you do decide to work the steps, it's an intense programme of self-exploration. There's a lot of list-making. For example, you list everything you're resentful about. You list everything you've done that you're ashamed of -- and believe me, most alcoholics carry around an absolutely massive burden of shame. You share these lists with a trusted person. And it's incredibly cathartic. You look at all the resentment and shame, and realise you don't have to let it dominate your life. You don't abdicate responsibility, but you realise that you have the capacity to change if you want to. For me, one of the most powerful elements of AA is the belief that people can change: that your past doesn't have to condemn your future. That's where AA is rather like existentialist philosophy. (Note that it's all very focused on self-change though; it's not a recipe for political revolution, even though Russell Brand would like to make it that, ha.)
Not everyone wants to do that kind of intense self-examination, but for me, it was very freeing and life-changing. The thing is, just stopping drinking isn't enough. You need ways to deal with the anxiety and sadness that made you drink in the first place, and that's what the steps try to help you do. Some people might fare better with CBT-type strategies, which I think are used in programmes like Smart.
There's also a huge cross-over between mental illness and addiction (addiction is often an attempt at self-medication), and for some people, AA on its own isn't enough. They need professional therapy too, and/or medication. So I think it's good that the OP's friend is getting NHS psychotherapy. If he's dwelling for too long on the negative aspects of the step work (resentment/shame etc), that's not helpful either. The whole point is not to wallow, but to get all that stuff off your chest so that you can move on and live a freer, more authentic life.
Sorry for all the long posts. This thread has really made me reflect about the AA framework and how it looks to outsiders, especially non-alcoholics. I guess I've become so used to the inclusive ethos of the meetings I go to and the members I know, that I forget how full-on the religious language is when you look at it on its own, and how alienating that appears to some people. I do understand why it would be alienating, believe me!